


From Ancient Grudge to New Mutiny

by Needle the Bard (Sionon_Klingensang)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, But I don't want to spoiler them, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Female!Snape - Freeform, General Trigger Warning, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), No trigger warnings for canon typical violence will be given, Or for violence implied in the original, Queer Themes, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Severus Snape&Regulus Black, Terf!Snape, There might be pairings, There's misgendering, Trans Character, Transphobic Slytherins, trans!James
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:41:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 42,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27781654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sionon_Klingensang/pseuds/Needle%20the%20Bard
Summary: It is the Marauders' fifth year, Remus Lupin is a prefect, and completely helpless to stop his friends from playing pranks that might - just might - be considered bullying.Fast forward to sixth year , nothing much has changed, the autumn moon is bright, someone sent Remus a thinly veiled threat in the shape of a wolfsbane flower, and are those Slytherins trying to summon a demon?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Dramatis Personae:**

Gryffindor: 

Lily Evans

James (Prongs) Potter, transitioned to Gwenhwyfar (Prongs) Potter

Sirius (Padfoot) Black

Peter (Wormtail) Pettigrew

Remus (Moony) Lupin

Slytherin: 

Severus Snape, here Eileen (Leena) Snape jr.

Regulus Black

Bellatrix Black

Narcissa Black

Andromeda Black

~~~~~~~~~~~

I originally thought I'd just change James to Jenny, but Jenny is just an abbreviation, and then I did some research on the origins … so Gwenhwyfar it is.

This is a bit more on the gritty realism side than my other works, so proceed with caution if you found anything in the original books hard to stomach.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape's POV. Snape's Worst Memory, aka the end of the friendship with Lily, and an appearance of Moaning Myrtle.

“You’re lucky Evans was here, Sniveleen” Potter smirked at her, the blood red lipstick contrasting against his oh so perfect white teeth.  
He threw his gorgeous shiny locks – probably spell-grown, the cheater - over his shoulder. 

Something inside Leena snapped. „I don’t need help from handmaidens like her!“

She knew she shouldn’t have said it the moment it was out of her mouth. Something in Lily’s face changed. 

“Fine. Suit yourself, then.”

Lily stomped off, red hair trailing after her like flickering flames. 

Leena jumped to her feet, grasping her wand tightly. 

She knew she didn’t have to pay attention to Lupin. Not that Lupin was any better than the rest of them, but he could be relied upon to be a bloody coward. Pettigrew was a coward likewise, but sometimes got bold when he had his friends behind him. 

It was really mostly just Potter and Sirius Black. 

Still, having to always keep her guard up against Peter meant she couldn’t fully focus on the two most dangerous ones. 

She inched backwards, slowly. Only when a subtle change in the movement of students around her indicated the approach of a teacher, that apex predator of the schoolgrounds, did she dare turn around and run. 

The girls’ toilets were no longer safe after Potter had declared that he ‘felt like a girl’, whatever that was supposed to fucking even mean. 

Only Moaning Myrtle’s toilet was safe, thanks to, well, Myrtle. That meant a decided lack of privacy, but still, better than being waylaid by Potter. 

Leena used one of the still functioning taps to wash the taste of soap out of her mouth. Potter would pay for this. Dearly. 

“You look terrible.” Myrtle sounded delighted. 

“So what?”

“What happened?” She sounded a little more empathetic this time, but Leena could have sworn that Myrtle was hoping for her to commit suicide so she’d finally have some company her age ... or well. Who died at the same age. Or something. 

“Potter and his cronies attacked me again.”

“You don’t look so sad after they do it, normally”, Myrtle observed. 

“Well, they did make me hang upside down and show my bloody panties to the whole school, didn’t they?” Leena spat. 

“Oooooch, that’s baaaad. Not even Olive Hornby would ever have done that.”

Olive Hornby was a crappy benchmark for cruelty. As far as Leena could tell, she hadn’t ever physically attacked Myrtle. 

If all Potter and his cronies did was insulting her appearance, she would count herself lucky.”

But it was Myrtle’s way of showing sympathy. 

“Are you going to tell a teacher?”, the ghost continued.

Leena frowned. That had not even occurred to her. “No. I don’t want to talk about it.” You didn’t run to teachers. You just didn’t. 

“Anyway ...” Myrtle floated around her. “Doyouwanttocometomydeathdayparty?”

“Could you repeat that?”

Myrtle hesitated. 

Leena concentrated and tried to make sense of what she had heard. “It’s your deathday?”

“Not now. June 13. There will be a party, and ... I had wondered ... if perhaps ... you might want to come?”

A pathetic loser attending a party thrown by an even more pathetic loser. Splendid. 

But if Leena said no, Myrtle would cry. Guaranteed. She just ... couldn’t deal with that right now. “Oh. Thank you.”

“So you will come? It will be a very grand event, Sir Nicholas helps me organise and you know how fancy his deathday parties are. And you can bring a guest, you know? How about that red-haired girl?”

Of course. She wasn’t even being invited for her own sake. “Lily? I don’t think ... we fought. Don’t think she will want to come.” She could apologize. But was it any use? Lily had sided with Potter an awful lot lately. 

“Oh. Lots of people will be there on their own. You don’t have to worry.”

Or was Myrtle just trying to comfort her? She must really look like crap. “Thanks Myrtle. June 13? I will save the day.”

Not like she was going to be invited to anything else.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus was trying to focus on his book. It wasn’t easy, with Padfoot and Prongs plotting how to finally get Evans to date Prongs.

Finally, he looked up. “Are you sure she even swings that way?”, he asked cautiously. 

Evans had shown no sign of warming up to Prongs, and that latest attack on Snape surely hadn’t helped. 

Prongs looked up from painstakingly applying nail polish. “What? Blasphemy! She’s my soulmate. We are meant for each other!”

Remus sighed. “Maybe, but ... you could still date someone else in the meantime?” He loved his friends, but this obsession was getting tiring sometimes. “Perhaps she’ll be jealous and it will make her realize she’s in love with you.” He doubted that, but after having to hear about Lily Evans’ beauty every waking moment that they weren’t talking about Quidditch or pranking Snape, he’d really welcome a break. 

“You don’t understand, Moony! I have waited for her for years. I could have had anyone but I waited for her! She won’t be able to resist that level of devotion.”

Remus felt tempted to point out that this was not like becoming an animagus where any interruption meant you had to start almost from zero, that Evans could hardly hold it against Prongs to have given up after five years and countless rejections, but thought better of it. It was no use. 

Love. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to experience it if that was what it was like. Especially since, unlike Prongs, he would not even have hope.   
It was a miracle his friends accepted him, but finding a girl who had no problem with his condition? Yeah, right. When hell froze over. 

Though Evans had repeatedly stated that she would “date Potter when hell freezes over”, so if she was to believed, his chance at requited love wasn’t really that much worse. 

Perhaps they should try to get into hell and put a freezing charm on it ...

“Guys! And girl!” Peter was back. “You won’t believe what I found out!”

“Spit it out, Peter”, Sirius yawned. “I’m sure it’s not that exciting.”

Peter closed the door of their dormitory. “Snape is going to go attend a fancy party. I heard them talk about it.”

Padfoot and Prongs looked at each other in a way Remus did not like at all. They would dump a bucket of pig’s blood on her or something. Why couldn’t they grow up already? 

A brillant smile formed on Sirius’ face, that smile that made Remus go along with all his schemes. “We can prank her!”

Remus shut his book with a loud thud. “Evans is not going to be impressed with that.”

“They aren’t friends anymore”, Peter reminded him. “Snape wanted to ask Evans to be her guest, but that won’t happen.”

“So is she going with a boy, then?” Remus inquired cautiously. 

“Sniveleen? Good joke, Moony. I mean, she’s not really a girl, is she? That greasy hair! The nose! I doubt she knows how to apply make-up, even!” Prongs mimicked throwing up. “No one wants to tap that.”

“I guess.” Remus shrugged. “There’s no accounting for tastes. Anyway, if she’s with a boy it will be harder to prank her.”


	4. Chapter 4

Leena had hoped to be able to sneak into the common room without drawing attention, but no such luck. 

Narcissa Black was seated in a chair by the fire and got up when Leena entered. “Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“What Potter did ...”

“So the whole school knows by now?” Great. Just great. 

“Word ... has spread, I am afraid, yes. There’s talk of making the Gryffindors pay.”

“I can take my own revenge.”

Narcissa sighed. “I just ... I know you’re a loner, but it’s not like Potter doesn’t have help. There’s no shame in ... forging alliances. If you change your mind, you have my wand.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, thanks. Anything else?”

“Your robe is torn. I ...” Narcissa hesitated. “Let me mend that for you.”

Yet another tear? Leena looked at the fabric. Damn, how had she not noticed that before? It was large. No way she could repair it without adding another patch. “I know how to use a needle, thanks.”

“Hold still.” Narcissa took the torn part of the robe between two fingers and tapped it with her wand. “Reparo maximo.”

The torn edges of fabric, worn out by having been mended so many times the common reparo charm didn’t even work anymore, knit together seamlessly. 

“I ... I owe you one, Black.” She turned and ran up the stairs. 

Potter would pay. But first things first. 

Lily. It was humiliating to need Lily’s help. Lily, who had scolded her for not using Potter’s new pronouns. Lily, who had hardly talked to her recently. Lily, who had been her first friend, when she had had no one else. 

Lily of the flaming hair and the fiery temper. 

That night, she wrote a letter to Lily. Apologizing and inviting Lily to accompany her to the deathday party. She almost got caught outside after curfew.   
But it was worth it. Lily was worth it. 

The next morning, at breakfast, she sat so that she could see the Gryffindor table. 

Lily got the letter. Lily recognized the envelope, a reused envelope of a letter she had sent Leena before. Lily looked towards the Slytherin table, searching ...

Lily looked her right in the eyes and pointed her wand at the letter, burning it to ashes. 

Without even reading it. 

Leena swallowed hard. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. 

“Did Evans just burn a letter without reading it first?” Regulus Black was watching the Gryffindor table, too. Probably a glaring match with his brother. “Foolish girl. Could have been anything. Could have been an invitation to the Slug Club.”

“Probably just another love letter from Potter.” Narcissa interjected. 

“How pathetic can you be?” Mulciber shook his head. “Hankering after a mudblood, and after how she treated him, too. He’s pureblood, for what that’s worth. Doesn’t he have any pride?”

Leena crouched, trying to become invisible. A good friend would have called him out on that. But she wasn’t a good friend. 

“Shush, don’t misgender Potter. We want to win the house cup this year”, one of the prefects scolded. 

“Such behaviour might have been justified had they been courting”, Regulus remarked haughtily. “Begging her forgiveness after a strife. Being as it is, I am ashamed at the company my brother keeps. Deeply ashamed.”

The way he spoke like someone from the previous century almost never failed to make Leena laugh, but today, it did. 

Nothing could have cheered her up today. 

Regulus was right, though. Lily hadn’t actually read the letter. Perhaps she had feared it would contain more insults? 

During break, Leena gathered her courage and approached Lily at the fountain in the courtyard. She was only talking to one friend, getting her alone was unlikely, so ...

“Lily, I’m sorry I - ”

“Get lost, Snape.”

“Yeah, get lost, Sniveleen!” Potter. Of course he was here, too. 

Leena halted. Listened. 

But this time, Lily did not defend her. 

She walked away, shoulders hanging, without even throwing a hex at Potter. 

“Snape. I need a word with you.”

She looked up. Oh. Regulus. “Fine. What do you want?”

“Let’s walk for a bit?” He led the way through the arcade, away from where Potter and Sirius Black were ogling Lily while Lupin stood nearby looking conflicted ... probably gathering courage to drool over Lily himself. Pathetic coward. 

Regulus cleared his throat. “Ah. I wanted to ask ... so you and Evans ...”

“Aren’t friends anymore, how astute of you to notice. I’m a good little Slytherin now. No mingling with muggleborns anymore.” Leena stared at the weathered flagstones. She had never really paid attention to them when walking here with Lily. It was strange, how worn down the stone was, even though neither rain nor snow could get at it. 

“Don’t be like that. I just wanted to say ... I know how you feel.”

Leena snorted. “I highly doubt that.”

“You do not have to believe me. I just wanted to offer my sympathy.”

Oh. Well. He did have a brother in Gryffindor. A brother he didn’t seem to have anything to do with, but who knew? Perhaps he had at least reason to think he understood. 

“Fine. Anything else you wanted?”

“I think it would be better if you let Evans cool down some. She’s too angry to listen to you now. If you tried again next year, after it has really sunk in what it is like to lose you ...”

Perhaps he was right. Lily did have a fiery temper. On the other hand, she had not held a grudge for more than a day before. “It is just ... I’ve been invited to a fancy party and ... I really wanted her to come.” Being alone among strangers wasn’t really something Leena looked forward to. The only ghost she really knew was Myrtle. The Bloody Baron was not very talkative and the other house ghosts didn’t hang out around Slytherin table. With Lily ... it would be fun. 

“Oh.” Regulus hesitated. “When is the party? Can you still wait for her to cool down? Or ask someone else?”

“The thirteenth of June.”

“Not much time to cool down.”

“And it’s not like anyone else would want to accompany me.” Leena watched a rat scurry away. A brown one like she’d seen dozens of in Cokeworth. Someone ought to tell the gamekeeper about this rat infestation. 

“Any boy you ask would be obliged to accept your invitation. It is just basic good manners, you know? One does not turn a lady down.”

“I can’t be having with a boy who just sticks around out of obligation.” He pitied her. She loathed pity. 

Regulus folded his arms on his back. “Ah. Well. Then. I would actually love to be your date. So if you can’t convince Evans ...”

Wait ... what? 

“I – I’ll think about it!”


	5. Chapter 5

Peter sat down next to Remus on the bed. “Do you have a good idea for a prank, Moony?”

“Um.” Did he? Perhaps if he suggested something fun, they’d not think of anything more cruel? 

“We could turn her hair green?”

“Her hair can’t get any worse”, Sirius joked. “No, we should give her pimples. All over the face. But it has to look natural so she won’t run to Pomfrey with it.”

“Vanish her robes while everyone is watching”, Prongs suggested. 

Sirius shook his head. “Ew, no. No one wants to see that.”

“Of course. Those hairy legs gave me nightmares. I was just joking. Anyway, we should do something to her dress robes.”

Peter squeaked. “That’s brilliant, Gwenhwyfar!”

Had none of them noticed? “I am not sure”, Remus said quietly. “She even owns dress robes.”

Peter patted his back so forcefully Remus almost fell off the bed. “Of course not! Where would she ever wear them, right?”

“She’ll get ones for the party, obviously”, Prongs insisted. “We can pour bubotuber pus on them.”

“We can hide a pig’s bladder with blood in the fabric so it looks like she got her _period_.” Peter giggled. 

“Who invited her, anyway?” Sirius asked. “Who would want Sniveleen at a party?”

They all looked at Peter, but he just shrugged. “They didn’t mention that.”

“Probably old Sluggy inviting all the students who kiss his ass”, Prongs mused. “Oh, just imagine, we slip her a love potion and get her to fall head over heels for Slughorn.”

“That’s all just one person”, Remus threw in. “Rather boring. What if we did something to everyone at the party? Including Slughorn.”

“Moony, Moony ...” Sirius shook his head, so wildly his hair fell into his eyes, giving him that daredevil look he was known for. “You like to pretend you are so harmless, but I suspect you are actually the most mischievous of us all.”

Emboldened by the compliment, Remus thought up something even more mischievous: “How about we put laxatives in the food? Just imagine Slughorn running to the toilet at top speed.”

“Oooch, you are a proper evil genius”, Sirius gushed. “Sniveleen will shit her panties.”

**

The next morning at breakfast, Leena got a letter. From Lily?

Excitedly she ripped open the envelope. 

Inside was ... ashes. 

The ashes of her own letter. 

Not enough that Lily had burnt her letter, no, she wanted to make perfectly sure that Leena knew she’d done it. 

This friendship was over for good. 

And it was all just Potter’s fault. 

**

Prongs grew increasingly smug as Evans continued to ignore Snape, going to great lengths to avoid being partnered with her in potions. 

“Not only will she not be angry at me for pranking Sniveleen”, Prongs announced proudly one afternoon in the common room. “She will be grateful to me for avenging her.”

Their prank planning had advanced a fair bit. 

So far the idea was to both tinker with the food and pour a stinky liquid all over Snape’s dress robes, just in case one plan didn’t work. 

Prongs also got increasingly agitated over not being there to witness the effects of the prank, and so had started making plans for how they could all attend. Plans that, so far, had the problem that none of them knew where the party even was, or who else was invited. 

Remus had started brewing a laxative. He had convinced himself that it wasn’t that bad. They’d probably all reach a toilet in time. Probably. 

Meanwhile, the others were discussing the finer details of sabotaging Snape’s dress robes. 

“It can’t be obvious”, Sirius mused. “We want her to be at the party when people start noticing.”

“Rafflesia perfume”, Peter suggested. “They sell it in Knockturn Alley. It’s vile.”

“Perfume?” Prongs was sceptical. “I don’t know, Wormy. You may think it is vile, but you also didn’t like my ylang-ylang perfume at first.”

“It smells of rotten meat. They sell it for hags, I think.”

“Yes, it is quite a stinky plant”, Remus agreed, stirring the cauldron three times clockwise. “Why don’t we all go to Knockturn Alley and buy some? Just like the good old times.” He missed the good old times when they’d spent more time exploring than, well ... playing pranks. 

“We can’t risk you getting caught. Not with you being prefect”, Prongs decided. “Wormtail can do that on his own, can’t you?”

“Sure”, Peter affirmed. “Consider it done, Gwenhwyfar!”

Of course he could. That was not the point. 

Remus sighed wearily. 

He put the potion under a stasis charm and got up. “I’m going to the library”, he announced. 

“What for? Term is almost over!”

“Well, yeah, there is always next year, Padfoot. It wouldn’t hurt you to do some studying of your own.”

Sirius frowned, as if deep in thought. “No mate, you go have fun”, he said in the end. 

As usually. 

He loved his friends to bits, but really, they could be so much better if they just applied themselves. 

They all wanted to become Aurors, and while he understood academic learning was not really what was needed there, he was convinced it would not hurt. 

Knowledge never hurt. He was no Ravenclaw, he knew there were things that were important other than book learning, but ...

It would just have been nice to not have to go to the library all alone, was all. 

He didn’t want to tell the others, but when he walked the hallways alone, it sometimes happened that ...

“Oh, hello Moony. Isn’t that how your friends call you?”

Remus froze. 

Snape was leaning against a wall, watching him with a calculating gaze. “A strange nickname, all things considered. The moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circle orb ... curious that your friends seem to think you inconstant ... but then, your health seems to have improved quite a lot since the last full moon.”

This. This was what happened. Snape waylaid him to allegedly make conversation, but of course they both knew they were not really on speaking terms, and there always were those nasty hints ... “You know Shakespeare?”

Snape made a dismissive gesture. “Who doesn’t know the bard? Don’t try to distract me ... Moony.”

He could not hex Snape first. He was prefect. As long as Snape only seemed to make conversation, he had no justification for hexing her. 

“It is what my friends call me. You would not like it so much if I used your first name, would you?”

“Oh.” Snape raised an eybrow. “It would be better than what your friends actually call me.”

Remus sighed. He should just have stayed in the dorm. “Listen Snape, I am not the one trying to pick a fight. Just leave me in peace.”

Steps on the flagstones. Please be a teacher, please be a teacher. 

But when he looked over his shoulder, he saw the aristocratic features of none other than Regulus Black. 

Shit. 

“Snape. And Lupin.” Regulus stepped closer. “Am I ... interrupting something?”

His voice was laced with innuendo. 

Remus felt himself blush furiously. “No, not at all. I was just leaving.”

Snape had blushed, too, an unflattering, splotchy redness and put her hands on her hips. “Where are your good manners, Black? Not very gentlemanlike of you to imply that sort of thing.”

Good to know that Snape took offense, too. 

“What? Oh no, no, no. Sorry, Snape. I didn’t mean anything dirty. I just wanted to make sure I was not intruding. So, I take it you weren’t about to ask Lupin to accompany you to the party?”

“Him?” Snape said it as if Remus was dirt under her soles, and for a split second he actually felt hurt. No girl would ever want him. Not even she. “You must be joking. As if I would voluntarily go anywhere with one of Potter’s cronies. Anyway, it’s none of his business.”

“That is true. You will excuse us, Lupin?”

And they walked away as if he had somehow interrupted them. Regulus possessed the same catlike grace Sirius did, but when he extended his arm, offering it to Snape, it occurred to Remus for the first time that Regulus might be a womanizer, too. This easy, casual flirtatiousness ... 

Just because Regulus didn’t talk about conquests didn’t have to mean he didn’t make them. One did wonder ...

The library was thankfully almost empty. 

Except for a few older students and ...

“Evans?”

She turned around. “Lupin. Is something the matter?”

Now that she mentioned it ... “Snape has been trying to pick fights with me, lately.” That was close enough to the truth. “Perhaps you can ask her to cut it out?” Much better to solve it this way than to tell his friends and have them escalate their pranks, making Snape only more determined to torment him. 

“Why do you think she’d listen? She’s made very clear what she thinks of me, hasn’t she?” Evans spoke so loudly that she was shushed by Madam Pince. 

Remus continued in a whisper. “She did try to apologize. I have a feeling she’d stop harrassing me if it was all that was needed to mend your friendship.” 

Evans shook her head. “She tried to apologize exactly once. If she’d really meant it - ”

“Twice. I am quite sure that letter contained an apology.”

“Twice. Still not much.”

“You can’t tell people to get lost and expect them to stick around.”

“Well, Potter has shown no intention of heeding my words.”

“That’s different. That’s love. You and Snape are – were – friends. Friendship doesn’t make people lose their minds like love does.”

Evans crossed her arms. “So you think Eileen would have to have lost her mind to try and apologize to me again?”

“I wouldn’t be quite that harsh, but ... yes? You didn’t even listen when she tried last time. Actually, why are you so angry? It’s not like she called you the M-word or anything.” Of course Prongs was delighted that they weren’t friends anymore, and perhaps Remus should leave it at that, but it just didn’t seem to make sense. 

“It’s worse. That word. The only people who really use it are ...” Evans lowered her voice to a whisper. “Radical feminists.”

“Oh.” Remus himself didn’t know much about the matter, but according to Prongs, radical feminists were ... bad. Really bad. Not quite baby-eating level bad, but that just because they did not, in fact, eat babies. Probably. “I don’t think she is one. I mean. They hate men, don’t they?”

Evans nodded. 

“Snape seems to be rather chummy with Regulus Black.” He only realised he thought that when he had said it. Snape had not been friendly, but she had abstained from hexing Regulus for implying that she had been snogging Remus, she’d just scolded him. That was as much courtesy as anyone was ever going to get out of Snape, he supposed. 

“Chummy?”

“When Snape was taunting me, Black walked up to us and mentioned a party that he apparently hopes Snape doesn’t have a date for, yet. It sounded like he is going to ask her out, and she didn’t seem opposed to the idea.”

“Oh.” Evans’ expression darkened.

“I know what you think – the whole family except Sirius are pureblood supremacists, but ... look at the bright side, at least Snape doesn’t seem to be that invested in hating men.” Though of course, Prongs took more offense at radical feminists being transphobic, which Snape very obviously was. “Anyway, you have been friends for years, that has to count for something. And you are prefect. So ... ask her to leave me alone?”

“I will try, but I really don’t think she will listen.”

“Thanks anyway.” 

Remus went to the section with books that couldn’t be removed from the library and took a book on defense against magical creatures all over the world from the shelf. His obsession with the subject had started with the fact that he himself was such a creature, but had developed into genuine interest over time. 

He liked the quiet, yet not lonely atmosphere of the library. And his conversation with Evans had gone really well. 

Who knew, she might even date Prongs one day. She did seem to think Snape was not serious about apologizing because she had only tried twice. Perhaps, once Prongs asked Evans out for the hundredth time, she would be finally convinced it was sincere. 

Strange. You’d think that kind of persistence would get on her nerves ... but then, he supposed it was somewhat flattering. If someone had asked him out multiple times ...

Haha, as if that would ever happen. 

In his heart, Remus knew he was desperate and pathetic enough he would certainly say yes the first time someone asked. 

Not that _that_ would happen.


	6. Chapter 6

So now she had a ... a date for the party. Leena was not quite sure how she felt about that. She was supposed to love it, she supposed. Regulus Black, tall...ish, dark and handsome, pureblood, Slytherin. Sure, he was a year younger than her, and at the age of eleven, she would have considered him a baby for it, but things were different now. 

But somehow, she was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Could his brother Sirius have put him up to asking to accompany her only to stand her up? 

Not likely. Being stood up would not even hurt her, she expected it. 

If Sirius Black was involved, the plan was sure to be much more sinister than that. 

Well. She would just have to be careful.

Upon returning to her dorm, she found it full of Black girls. “What are you doing here?” Neither Andromeda nor Bellatrix actually shared her dorm. They weren’t even in her year!

“Sorry about that, Snape.” Andromeda got up from the bed she was sitting on – not Leenas, or she would have given them hell for it. “We asked your dormmates, but couldn’t find you. You see, we had to hide somewhere Cissy wouldn’t look for us. It is supposed to be a surprise.”

“What is?”

“Look.” Andromeda gestured at something they’d spread on the bed. “We are copying the family tapestry for her.”

Leena stepped closer. Two needles were moving over the fabric, stitching names and dates. 

“For her birthday?” Was it her birthday soon? The tapestry didn’t look like it would be ready before the school year ended. 

“No, as a wedding gift”, Bellatrix explained. She seemed less sullen than usual. “Lucius proposed to her, since he graduates this year, so she will have her own household soon.”

“Oh. I see.” Wedding gifts. A joy she would never experience. And not just because she had no sisters who would go to the trouble of making something this beautiful for her. “It is quite impressive. Or will be when it is finished, at any rate.”

Andromeda beamed. “Thank you! We will add faces when we are back home and can copy those on the original.”

“And I researched a spell that will burn any muggle names out as soon as they appear”, Bellatrix added gleefully. “It will be even better than the original.”

“There’s no need for that curse”, Andromeda replied. “I really don’t think ... what if it misfires and ruins all our work?”

“Are you trying to imply that I am bad at charms?”

Leena left them to their squabbling, took her potions book and her writing equipment and returned to the common room. 

Now, what improvements on next week’s potion would impress Slughorn most? 

It was a matter of honour now, she had to be better than Lily. And perhaps she’d be invited to the Slug Club. And then, perhaps, Lily would want to be friends again ...

She lost track of time, and only vaguely noticed the fire burning down. 

“You are changing the potions?”

Leena jumped. “Yeah, so what?”

“No need to be so stroppy”, Narcissa Black replied, audibly miffed. “I was complimenting you, actually.”

“Oh.” Leena closed the book. “Since you pity me and think you need to comfort me after what Potter did?” It was a blessing that the Slytherin code of honour forbade any gossiping about something a Gryffindor had done to one of their own. As things were, she only heard the faint whispers follow her when she passed by students of other houses. She would never live that one down. 

“No, actually. I am assessing your suitability as match for my cousin.”

“Your cousin?” The pureblood families were so large, she was not quite sure who was meant and if that was an insult. 

“The one who is not a blood traitor, obviously.”

Oh. The ones who were actually called Black. That narrowed it down. 

“Regulus? How did we go from him accompanying me to a party to engaged? I do not quite follow.” 

Narcissa would never imply that sort of thing just to comfort her. There must be a reason. 

And all of a sudden, Leena did feel really, really, really pleased with the arrangement. 

“It is early days, yet, of course, but ... well, Lucius did ask me to accompany him to one of the Slug Club parties just two years ago.”

“Hm. Getting a bit ahead of yourself, there. I certainly won’t accept a marriage proposal before I have finished school. So, have you reached a decision already?”, Leena drawled. 

“You will have to work on your manners. But I do think you have potential.”

“I am flattered”, Leena replied, making sure to sound suitably sarcastic. “So you think he is being honest? It’s not some prank his brother set him up to?” Narcissa loathed Sirius for ruining her family’s reputation. She wouldn’t lie about this. 

“Certainly not. He still hopes that Sirius will see the error of his ways, but he certainly wouldn’t have any part in that sort of thing.” 

“Good.”

“Meet me here after luncheon on the day of the party. I will help you with your hair.”

What a polite way to say exactly the same thing that Potter and his cronies always said about her hair. “I don’t need any - ”

“Manners, Snape.”

Leena huffed. She could not afford to snub Narcissa Black, soon to be Malfoy. “I didn’t mean to be rude, but I doubt doing something about my hair will help any when I will have to wear my school uniform. I did not expect to be invited to a party.” Well, at least she wouldn’t be the only one. Myrtle could hardly change clothes, could she? 

“Oh. Yes, of course.” 

She had obviously not fooled Narcissa about the fact there wouldn’t have been money for dress robes even if she had expected to need them. 

“I will lend you some of mine”, Narcissa continued. “With a colour changing spell, no one will notice. Are there any living people invited, other than you?”

That was a good question. “I would have to ask.” She had assumed Myrtle had only taken pity on her, but it was well possible Myrtle had taken pity on other people, too.

But first things first. 

Revenge.

Sweet, sweet revenge. 

She had acquired a blanket permission for the restricted section at the start of year five. Time to put it to some real use. 

This time, she would not be caught. This time, Potter and his cronies would be the ones caught. 

After careful consideration, she decided on a spell that would never be noticed. By its very nature, it could not. 

Like most very useful spells, it was considered ‘dark’, whatever that was supposed to mean. 

It wasn’t like it would harm a hair on precious Potter’s head. 

No, not that. 

The time had come at the next Slytherin/Gryffindor potions class. Leena went there early and waited. 

Catching Potter unawares was not always easy, but this time, he decided to go annoy Lily, which meant he was extremely distracted. 

Leena pointed her wand at him and cast the spell. Nothing, seemingly, happened. He rambled on, Lily ignored him, as always. 

Next was Black, who was attempting to dissuade Potter from making a fool of himself again, with little success. 

Lupin was easy, he was staring at his feet, apparently deep in thought, but probably just thinking about how it would advance his career to be friends with famous Potter. 

And then, of course, Pettigrew. Unlike Black, he didn’t dare to say a word against what Potter did, so was encouraging him to harrass Lily some more. Which distracted him wonderfully. 

Leena flashed Potter a malicious smirk, and just when he drew his wand, Slughorn arrived. 

Potter never dared to attack with a teacher nearby ... if only he knew. 

Lily partnered with Mary Macdonald,which left Leena to work with Daisy Parkinson, who was pretty thick, but just clever enough to know that Leena’s skill with potions far surpassed her own. In short, she could only be trusted with the easiest tasks, but did them without complaint. 

No comparison to Lily, but much better than being partnered with Potter or one of his cronies, as had sometimes happened when Lily had been sick and Slughorn had thought he had to assign partners. 

Speaking of Potter. 

He and his cronies were messing around, paying no attention to the fact that Slughorn had not addressed any of them even once. 

Leena had hoped they would feel uneasy when they noticed that no one outside their group reacted to them, but perhaps she should just have cursed Potter. 

If things continued like this, the only effect of the curse would be that they’d get detention for missing class. That was alright, but she had hoped for some existencial panic. 

Clearly, as a group of four, they did not even notice that others ignored them. Perhaps Potter had noticed Lily ignoring him, but Lily had taken to pretending he wasn’t there whenever he tried to hit on her, so that was nothing new. 

Infuratingly, Slughorn not taking any notice of them also meant that he did not reprimand them. 

The pepperup potion that Potter and Black were brewing was periwinkle, but should have been pink at this stage. 

And now Potter added a whole ginger root.

A whole ginger root. 

Damn. 

There would be an explosion. An explosion out of nowhere, Slughorn might be a bit slow, but he would certainly notice that. And then he’d cotton on to the fact Leena had used a dark curse, and ...

Damn, damn, damn. 

She had to do something. Too much ginger ... counteracted by ... lady’s mantle? No, that was too weak. 

The only thing that could help with such an excessive amount of ginger was monkshood. 

Leena went through her potions ingredients. Monkshood was not included in the standard school equipment, but of course she had acquired some, it was vital. Good thing Slughorn was always happy to help promising potions students. 

There it was. Leena took one of the small bits of root and aimed at Potter’s cauldron. One, two - the potion would explode any moment now – three. 

The piece of root met the surface of the potion, reacted ... yes! A bright crimson red. 

Leena had never seen a more perfect pepperup potion. Perhaps overdosing on the ginger and adding some monkshood was actually a way to improve it? She scribbled a note in her potions book.

Good thing that Potter would never get that potion graded, seeing as Slughorn did not know he was attending class.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus wondered why Slughorn didn’t say anything. He had partnered with Peter this time, as he was really interested in the pepperup potion and the other two would only have distracted him with their clowning around. 

The potion had, at last, turned a nice red colour. Just like it was supposed to. 

And just in time, too. Slughorn told them to put out the fires and bottle samples of their potions. 

Remus did so, he and Peter cleaned up, left the sample on the teacher’s desk and hurried to catch up with Padfoot and Prongs. 

“How did your potion go?” Usually, when he let them work with each other, they only paid superficial attention to the potion until the last ten minutes, at which time they would hastily save it, making them the last ones to finish cleaning their equipment. Usually. 

He was a bit jealous that they were talented enough to actually be able to do that. 

More often than not, they only got a passing grade, but still – Remus knew he would not be able to save an almost botched potion in such short a time.

“Hm? Oh, that. Quite well, actually, was a nice red. Pepperup potion is really easy, huh?”

Easy. Of course. For Prongs it would be. 

It was quite petty to be jealous, but still, he could not avoid it. Everything just came so damn easy to those two. 

**

The next potions lesson. Potter and cronies were sitting there, smug as always, not suspecting a thing.

Slughorn read the attendance list.   
“Potter, Black, Pettigrew, you have not handed in a note by Madam Pomfrey yet. Am I to assume you just skipped my lesson?”

Interesting. He did not list Lupin. Did the teachers know he was a werewolf, or had his parents convinced them he had some chronic illness? Logically, the teachers should be able to figure it out, but Leena had become quite disillusioned with regards to the intelligence of most people at the school. 

“What do you mean, sir? We were here.”

Slughorn frowned. Being the head of Slytherin, he was less patient with Potter’s nonsense than most. “You definitely were not in class on Tuesday.”

“Look at the potion samples”, Lupin said. “Peter and I handed one in, it should be there.”

Leena could have kicked herself. She had researched the spell so carefully. Practised it till she could do it half asleep with a blindfold on.

But not for one moment had she considered that the work samples would obviously prove that they must have been there. 

Unless they had bribed someone else to hand in a second, mislabeled sample, but if she alerted Slughorn to that possibility, she could just as well admit she was the reason why he had not seen them in class. 

“Oha! How strange. I thought for sure ... you were unusually silent ... Potter, Black, I am very impressed by your potion! Why, I myself could hardly have brewed a better pepperup potion!”

They cheered. 

Leena seethed silently. There was not much of the year left. Not enough to research another spell. 

And just because she’d been so foolish to do it in potions! Every other subject would have had it work flawlessly, but no, she had been so sure Slughorn wouldn’t believe their excuses ...

Which he would not. 

But proof was proof.


	8. Chapter 8

Happy second Sunday of Advent, everyone! Happy St. Nicholas' day! 

*****

It was the day before full moon. Remus nibbled on his toast without much appetite. Already he dreaded the transformation.

The sky was clear, like so often in the summer months, and somehow he felt that this made it more painful than when the moon was covered in clouds. Perhaps he just imagined that, but even so ...

And Snape was close to figuring it out. If she had not already figured it out and enjoyed tormenting him too much to tell everyone ... yet. 

He could feel her staring at him, even though he sat with his back to the Slytherin table. 

Next to him, Sirius was flirting with some girl. He didn’t even want to know. 

“There’s a Hufflepuff House party tonight”, she was just saying between giggles. “Wanna come?”

“Hufflepuff? The food is sure to be delicious!”

Oh. So Sirius had really forgotten. How nice for him, to even be able to forget what day it was. 

Remus got up and walked out. 

No one seemed to even notice. Prongs was likely busy watching Evans. 

Peter would have noticed – Peter paid attention when the other two didn’t – but Peter was sleeping in so that he would be able to stay awake through the night. He needed a lot of sleep.

So no one noticed Remus sneaking away, except probably Snape, as he still felt watched. 

He hadn’t thought of that. Leaving breakfast early without having eaten even one slice of toast. Nothing at all suspicious about that. 

Looking for a place where he would be left alone, he considered the Prefect Bathroom, then thought better of it. Someone might actually want to use it. 

Every other secret location was not so secret to his friends, so ...

Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom it was. They would never suspect that he would enter a girls’ bathroom. 

He knocked at the door. “Someone in there?”

No answer. He entered. 

“Oh, it is you.” Myrtle looked him over. “You look terrible.”

“I know.”

She was annoying most of the time, but at least she would never tell him to cheer up. In other words, if you wanted to wallow in misery, she was the perfect company. 

He sat on a toilet seat and pondered his life choices. Only not really, because it had not been a choice to get bitten. He had been so young he didn’t even remember much of it. He’d never even had a choice. 

The floor was covered in water. Remus stared at his reflection. Pale like a ghost. Perhaps he should just end things. And hope he didn’t become a ghost. 

But ... no. He couldn’t do that to his mum. She loved him. Dad ... he was not so sure. 

“You do visit me quite often.”

He looked up. “I guess I do.” Whenever he felt like being sad in peace. His friends wouldn’t understand. To them, his being a werewolf was all just a ton of fun. That was better than pretty much everyone else’s reaction, but ...

“So ... um ... it’s my deathday soon ...”

“Oh. When?”

“June thirteen. Perhaps you ... might want to come to the party?”

June thirteen? Wasn’t that ... 

“Sure.”

**

His friends had not forgotten. Of course not. They never had. As he climbed into bed in the hospital wing, Remus felt quite a bit stupid for ever assuming it. 

Madam Pomfrey had only been gone from the Shrieking Shack for ten minutes when they’d been there. Padfoot, tail wagging and happy as a dog could be. Wormtail sitting on Prongs’ antlers like a throne, pulling stupid faces as if he knew that Remus needed cheering up. 

He could have wept with gratitude, so it was a good thing that wolves couldn’t cry. 

Now, however, he could cry. 

But he took care to wipe his tears when he heard the door of the hospital wing open. 

Soon, his bed was surrounded by his friends. They would miss breakfast, but they had never minded that. Sneaking something from the kitchen was more fun anyway. 

Sirius ripped open a package of chocolate frogs and threw Remus three before sharing with the others. 

“My favourite! How did you know?” Remus exclaimed, as he did every time.

“Lucky guess”, Sirius replied, and they all laughed. 

“Thanks, mate.”

Peter could hardly keep himself from retelling last night’s adventures, the others trying to shush him, while Remus happily watched the chocolate frog he had freed from its carton leap onto the nightstand. 

“Out, out.” Madam Pomfrey approached. “Lessons begin in five minutes.”

Padfoot and Prongs would happily have skipped the first lesson every day after the full moon for him, but Remus had begged them to not draw more attention to the fact he was sick once a month than his own absence already did.

He was shy and quiet, and wasn’t sure the other students even noticed when he wasn’t there. The same could definitely not be said for the two of them. 

Peter might have escaped attention, but Peter struggled with his grades anyway, and didn’t dare draw the teachers’ fury. 

Madam Pomfrey shooed them out and proceeded to fetch breakfast from her office. Remus figured something must be magically be sent up there. Especially ordered for him. 

It was always the same, a cup of disgustingly bitter herbal tea and some perfectly browned plain toast. 

The thought of eating it made him nauseous. 

“Try to eat at least a little bit”, Madam Pomfrey pleaded.

Remus risked a sip of tea. “Later? It would be a waste.”

She nodded briskly. “But do promise to try later. You are growing boy and can hardly afford to miss out on the nutrients.”

Of course. They both knew that two or three days a month without eating anything weren’t good for him, especially with the draining transformations.   
But he just couldn’t bring himself to touch the toast. 

The door opened before Madam Pomfrey had a chance to draw the curtains around his bed. 

Remus tried to hide his face in the pillow. 

He heard Madam Pomfrey cluck her tongue disapprovingly. “That’s a very nasty gash you have there. Care to tell me how that happened?”

“I, uh, fell down the stairs?”

Remus decided to risk a peek. 

Sleek dark hair and aristocratic features ... Regulus Black. With blood streaming all over said features. 

Fell down the stairs. A popular excuse for bruises, but Remus would eat his Cleansweep Four if falling down the stairs could cause a cut like this. 

No, must have gotten into a fight. Probably cursed a helpless muggleborn who turned out to not be so helpless.

Remus put his face in the pillow again. The last thing he needed was a Slytherin, and one who was in cahoots with Snape, to recognize him. 

Madam Pomfrey bustled about, and, wondering what took her so long, Remus decided to sneak another peek, this time hiding his face under the blanket. 

Regulus looked almost normal again. Except for the slightly mussed hair that Sirius spent a surprising amount of time in front of the mirror to achieve, but that seemed very out of place on his prim and proper pureblood brother. 

“Do I need to keep the murtlap essence and dittany out to treat your opponent?”

Regulus froze, his relaxed, poised posture changing to one of dire panic. “Ah. No, Madam. I ... rather doubt the stairs will seek you out for treatment. They do move a lot, but I have never seen them in the hospital wing.”

It was a barefaced lie, and as such, Madam Pomfrey did not dignify it with an answer. “Out with you. And no fighting in the corridors!”

Only when the hospital wing was empty save for Madam Pomfrey, Remus realized the implications of what he had just seen. 

Sirius liked to claim that his brother was just too soft to rebel against their parents’ pureblood supremacy, but this ... this indicated that Regulus was not all that soft and harmless. 

And that he would retaliate if they pranked his date. 

He told his friends when he rejoined them in the evening. 

Prongs was not particularly worried. “So what? We are still four against two.”

Sirius, however, frowned. “He has been getting a lot of special lessons in dark curses from our parents, ever since I made it clear I didn’t want anything to do with it. Perhaps we should prank Snape some other time.”

“If we stick to tampering with the food and so on, he won’t even know it was us”, Peter pointed out. “We can play it safe.”

“Safe is boring, Wormy”, Prongs replied. “We will just have to improvise. Anyway, did you get what I asked you for?”

“Not as much as you wanted, but it should be enough.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ll see, Moony. You’ll see.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that any girl in possession of a lack of conventional beauty must be in want of a makeover session.   
> Leena disagrees, but is forced to comply. 
> 
> In other words, I have been told my Snape does not behave girl-like enough, I hope the use of a trope usually applied to female characters remedies that.

Leena was not happy about Narcissa’s insistence that she take a bath before the party. At least she had been able to convince her that the Prefects’ Bathroom was entirely the wrong place for this. 

“I don’t care how great it is”, she’d told the older girl. “Lupin has the password and he will help his friends sneak in to spy on me, rely on it.”

“Lucius would guard the entrance if I ask nicely.”

“Wouldn’t help. I think they have a way of making themselves invisible.” They always knew things about her that they shouldn’t be able to know, by rights. 

So Narcissa had relented. 

But still, here she was, in a bathtub with some flowery perfume stuff in it that at least made the pleasantly hot water opaque.   
Potter and his cronies probably had not found a way to sneak into the Slytherin girls’ dormitories and adjoining bathrooms. Probably. 

Still, she didn’t like being naked for longer than was strictly necessary. 

While Narcissa shampooed her hair with a magical shampoo that she claimed would add volume, Bellatrix modeled the dress robes she would wear, while Andromeda altered them with spells. 

They clearly were having fun. 

Leena ... still worried Potter and cronies would find a way to ruin this for her. 

“Green”, she decided. “Not apple green. More emerald.” She had wanted to wear black, but Narcissa had pointed out that she wore black every day. Which was true. Green was tolerable. 

Though she was not really the type for green. It looked great on Lily with the flaming hair and emerald eyes, but ...

Truthfully, she didn’t think there was anything that would look good on her. Her face was a hopeless case, she’d have to wear a mask to look okay. 

“Silver embroidery?” Without waiting for her answer, Andromeda put the embroidery needle to work with a spell. 

“I’ll be overdressed.” And look like a monkey in a ballgown. With her looks, it was better to not even try.

“Next to cousin Regulus? Oh no, I don’t think so. And aren’t all other guests at the party ghosts?”

“Myrtle says she invited a few students she feels a connection with.” Pathetic losers, probably. “Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick are invited, too, but she isn’t sure they’ll be able to attend. They have their duties as heads of house, obviously.”

“Sprout certainly can’t be accused of overdressing”, Bellatrix muttered. 

“Flitwick is always dressed very neatly”, Andromeda pointed out. “So you won’t look out of place.”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t upstage the birthday, um, deathday child?”

“It’s not a wedding”, Narcissa replied. “Besides, all the other ghosts will attend like they are, too. It is more courteous to make an effort, seeing as you are actually able to.”

The look they finally could agree on was Slytherin green with some white embroidery, and a white lily to be worn a boutonniere. 

Funeral flowers, Andromeda assured, were the most appropriate to wear at a deathday party. 

Leena emerged from the bath, like a very ugly Venus from the sea. Narcissa and Andromeda holding out a towel for her did look like proper nymphs, though. 

She put on a set of underwear she had repaired to its former glory with Narcissa’s reparo spell and sat on the chair they had specifically stolen from the common room for the purpose. It all felt very silly, but she could not afford to snub the whole Black family and the future Mrs Malfoy all at once. 

Feeling rather conflicted, she took the silver comb her mother had given her – a relict of better times – out of her washbag and handed it to Andromeda. “I don’t like to use other people’s stuff, so ... if you absolutely insist that I can’t do my own hair, use this.”

“Of course”, Andromeda murmured and took the comb reverently. “Family heirloom?”

“From my mother’s side, yes.”

The Black sisters exchanged gazes. Blimey, if she’d known this would raise her so much in their estimation, she’d have shown it to them before. 

It was nothing special, just a comb, and if there was any magic on it, it did nothing but help it remain shiny despite years of disuse. Leena didn’t like to risk it getting lost, so she usually kept it in the dorm, at the bottom of her suitcase and just combed her hair with her fingers. 

They had known she was descended from the Prince family. She had made sure everyone knew shortly after her arrival. 

But apparently, visible proof that your family had been rich at some point in time counted more than that.   
Good thing her mother had been so attached to the old thing that she’d never sold it to put food on the table. 

Her hair was combed and put up with the help of some silver sticks transfigured from writing quills. 

Then the Black sisters helped her into the dress robes. Finally, properly dressed again. Fortunately, the Black family was very conservative, they didn’t hold with low necklines or showing their knees. The dress robes covered as much as her school uniform robes did. 

“Ta-daa” Andromeda gestured at the row of mirrors over the line of sinks, using a spell to make them clear. 

Leena remained unimpressed. Her grotesquely large, crooked nose that her mother always reassured her she would ‘grow into’ was still there. If she opened her mouth, she would still see her crooked teeth, and as for the less oily skin and hair, that would return to normal in about an hour. 

She straightened her posture. “I owe you for this.” It was the first time ever since Lily had persuaded her to swap clothes when they were children that she was wearing something she didn’t have to feel ashamed of. 

“Just treat Reggie right”, Narcissa replied. “There’s a lot of pressure on him with his brother being a blood traitor and all.”

“I will do my best to not embarrass him.” Easier said than done. 

“You will make such a lovely couple!”

They led her down the stairs to the common room, only stepping out of her sight when she had arrived at the very last step. 

Well. Now she was stunned. 

Regulus was dressed up to the nines. Hair actually braided into the French braid that had been suggested to her as an option. Tight green trousers, an old fashioned white shirt with ruffles wherever they could be attached, and a green coat.   
The flower he wore was a rose, but ...

“How did you get our outfits to match? I only just decided on green like half an hour ago?”

Regulus smiled. “Destiny?”

She glared at him. 

“Alright, Bella did just put a colovaria charm on me. But in my defence, I had only chosen a slightly different shade of green.” He held out his arm. 

He’d done that before. Leena had no idea what he meant by it. 

Bellatrix seized her arm and put it where it, apparently, belonged. 

“I can walk on my own very well, you know?”, she muttered. 

“It is not about that”, Regulus explained. “It is just what one does when escorting a lady to a dance.”

“But why?”

He shrugged. “I never asked.”


	10. Chapter 10

The party venue was actually in the dungeons, so they did not have to walk far. But, of course, since fate clearly hated Leena, they met Lily. 

“Where are you going?”, she asked. “It’s five minutes to curfew.”

“We are going to attend a Deathday Party”, Regulus replied haughtily. “Obviously a ghost cannot issue written invitations, but I have procured a permission by Professor Slughorn. If you want to see - ”

“No, it’s fine.” Lily glared at them, belying her words. “Snape, Lupin asked met to tell you to stop bullying him. He has never done anything to you, so leave him alone.”

Had she been on her own, had she not been accompanied by handsome pureblood Regulus Black, she might have awkwardly mumbled an apology and promised to stop it, in the hopes that Lily would like her again. 

But she was not on her own. She straightened her shoulders. 

“Your request is duly noted, Prefect Evans”, she replied. “If you will excuse us, we have a party to get to.”

**

On the afternoon of the thirteenth of June, Remus felt he had to tell his friends some vital detail. 

“Um”, he began. They were sitting in the common room, on the large couch that other students always left free for them. “There might be a problem with the pranks we’ve planned. Thing is, I got ... invited to that party.” 

“Poor Moony.” Sirius put an arm around him, pretending to comfort him. “Invited to a party, what a tragedy.”

He resisted the instinct to lean into the embrace and shoved Sirius’ arm away. “That’s not funny. In fact, it is probably going to be a very sombre affair. You see, it is Moaning Myrtle’s Deathday party.”

“Oh.” Sirius got it first. “Spiking the food won’t affect ghosts, I guess.”

“How didn’t you notice, Wormtail?” Prongs asked accusingly. “How could you put the laxative into the cake and not notice it’s for a Deathday Party?”

Peter hunched over as if about to transform into his animagus form. “I’m sorry, Gwenhwyfar. I did think it was a bit strange that the cake was shaped like a tombstone, but I thought it was just a joke.”

“Doesn’t matter”, Sirius decided. “Sniveleen will be affected, that’s what counts.”

“Thinking about it”, Peter admitted. “She might not even eat any cake. It looked a bit mouldy.”

“And you tell us that now?!”

Peter seemed to shrink a few centimetres. “The house elves were all talking about how great it had turned out, so I thought perhaps it was just some decoration that looked like mould ... but if the ghosts don’t want to eat it anyway ...”

“How could you let us down like that?”, Prongs declaimed in a hurt voice. “Just joking, Wormtail, it’s not so bad. I have backup plan. But you have do something for me for it to work. Let’s go to the dorm. Only the two of us – it is going to be a surprise!”

Remus was not sure he would like the surprise. He had been so glad he had managed to steer them towards pranks that ran no risk of injuring anyone, and now this. 

But he just couldn’t have not told them. 

It was only shortly before dinner that Prongs revealed the great plan. “Wormy stole one of Sniveleen’s hairs and I managed to buy some polyjuice potion in Knockturn Alley. We will hit her with a stunner when she leaves Slytherin common room, lock her in a broom closet and I will turn into her and take over.”

Sirius did not look very thrilled. “I am not sure I feel comfortable with you going on a date with my baby brother.”

“Relax, I won’t touch him.”

“Do you have a second dose of polyjuice potion?”, Remus inquired. “Then Padfoot could turn into his brother, and it’d be only us at the party.”

“No, just the one. And it wouldn’t be any fun if Regulus didn’t notice something he can hate her for, later, right?”

Remus didn’t like it. “You really think you can be more of a greasy bastard than the original Snape?”

“It is a challenge, but I think I will manage.”

No, Remus didn’t like it. 

For the first time ever since they had turned into animagi for his sake, he seriously considered telling on his friends. 

But then ...

They would never forgive him. 

Still, it just didn’t feel right. Perhaps because he knew what it was like to be an outcast. And what it felt like to escape that. 

Being asked out by Regulus Black must be a dream come true to her. Pranking her a bit while she was at the party, fine, but actually making it so that she never got to go there? 

They ate dinner very fast, then went to the Prefects’ Bathroom. After all, Snape could not be seen walking out of Gryffindor Tower. 

The mermaid portrait was awake, giggling and combing her hair. 

Fortunately, no one was using the bathroom at the moment, that could have ruined the whole plan. 

“Behold!”

Prongs dramatically held up a goblet full of polyjuice potion, then let the long, coarse black hair fall into it. 

The potion took on a disgusting, brownish-green colour. 

“Ew. Figures, it’s Sniveleen, after all. Cheers!”

Remus saw his friend raise the goblet, then down the contents in one go. 

“Yuck. Worse than gurdyroots!”

The transformation started. Remus averted his gaze. He had no idea if it looked at all like him transforming into a wolf, but if that was so, he really didn’t want to know. 

“Strange, I didn’t think Sniveleen was so well endowed.” 

“Oy! Stop fondling my cousin! That’s disgusting.”

Remus spun his head around. 

Standing there, where his friend had been a moment ago, was none other than Bellatrix Black. 

“I’m sorry!” Peter whined. “So sorry! It was Narcissa’s hairbrush, it said so on the handle. They said they were giving Snape a makeover! How was I to know ...”

“Peter, Peter, Peter.” Prongs sighed. “You are really hopeless.”

“You can still play a prank”, Remus suggested. “You could get into Slytherin common room!” They had done that in their third year already, but it’d still be fun. “You can go there with Padfood and Wormtail, while I go to the party and see to it that the other prank works.”

“Yes! The other prank! I did get that rafflesia perfume”, Peter piped up.

“No, we were in Slytherin common room already, and Bellatrix will be there herself. I would be caught. No, you three should go prank Sniveleen while I stay here and treat myself to a bubble bath or something until the potion wears off.”

“I think we should stay here with you, mate”, Sirius replied. “It’s not going to be any fun without you.”

“And lose the opportunity for a great prank? No, you can’t do that. I will revoke your marauder membership if you don’t go and prank Sniveleen this minute! Hurry, she might already be on the way. When did you say the party started, Moony?”

He glanced at his wristwatch. “We have a quarter of an hour.” Snape wasn’t usually too early for lessons, but almost never too late. And this party would be important to her. 

“Hurry up!”

“Fine.” Sirius still didn’t look happy. “Don’t do anything weird, Prongs. That’s still my cousin you are impersonating there.”

“Let’s hurry”, Peter squeaked. 

Peter could obviously transform into Wormtail, but Remus and Sirius had to share the invisibility cloak. It was not as easy as it had been when they were eleven. 

They had to press closely together, and at the time their victims walked around the corner, Remus was sweating. 

“Now”, Sirius whispered, his hot breath touching Remus’ ear. 

Wormtail, balancing on a gargoyle on the side of the hallway, threw the phial with rafflesia perfume as fast as his little paws allowed. 

It cracked upon impact. 

“Wait.” Snape looked around. “Someone threw something at me. My shoulder is wet.”

“Don’t worry.” Regulus drew his wand from the sleeve of his tight-fitting, ruffled shirt and used a charm to dry the wet spot. “It’s probably just Peeves with a waterbomb.”

“It wasn’t enough liquid for a waterbomb.” Snape drew her wand from a hidden pocket in the skirts and performed some spell Remus didn’t recognize.   
She didn’t seem to be able to find anything. 

“Yes!” Sirius hissed under his breath. 

Remus noticed it too. The stench of rotten meat wavered in the corridor. The spell used to dry the spot had caused the essential oil to evaporate and the perfume to take full effect even sooner than they had hoped for. 

But Regulus didn’t seem to notice ... yet? 

“If you get any curse symptoms, tell me at once. But we really have to hurry now, we don’t want to be late.”

And off they were. 

“Now”, Sirius said, throwing off the invisibility cloak. “Now the fun part starts!”

“You have to stay under the cloak”, Remus reminded him. “Um. Do you think I will look very badly out of place?”  
He had expected that only the girls would dress up a bit, but now that he’d seen Regulus ...

“No. That’s just Regulus. He likes fancy clothes. You will look just fine. I mean, you can’t be the only one in school uniform if Moaning Myrtle is there, right?”

Remus hesitated a moment before opening the heavy oak door to the part of the dungeons that Myrtle had told him the party would be in. 

He knew at once that he would look out of place anyway, as almost all the guests were ghosts. 

And his nose was overwhelmed by the stench of what looked like a whole table full of rotten food. 

“Oh, hello Remus!” Professor Sprout bustled towards him. She wore Hufflepuff yellow robes of robust linen fabric, the only decoration being little dancing badgers embroidered on the hems. “I didn’t know you were friends with Myrtle.”

“I, um, don’t know her that well, but she noticed I was feeling down and invited me to cheer me up, I suppose? It’s very kind of her.” Or actually, she loved company in her misery, but with Sprout it was always better to attribute kind motives to people. 

“Oh, I am sure she just like having you here”, Sprout reassured him. “And don’t worry, you are not the only student here, either. 

“Cool.” He had already known that. “Um. Can I ask something?” He lowered his voice. “How do you deal with the smell?”

“Aha!” She drew her wand. “Bubblehead charm, dear boy. Hold still.”

Muttering an incantation under her breath, she tapped his head with her wand. 

Suddenly, the stench vanished. “Wow. That’s much better. Thank you, Professor.”

“You’re welcome. Now, if you want to condole the Deathday child, I do believe she is over there at the buffet.”

Sure enough, there was Myrtle, chatting amiably with Snape and Regulus. 

At last, she drew away from them. 

Remus walked up to her. “Um, hi Myrtle. Um. May I offer you my sympathies?”

She blushed silver. “Thank you so much! I am sorry I can’t talk to you right now, I wanted to give a little speech, Sir Nicholas thinks it would be classy.”

He had not expected the speech to amount to much, so was surprised when it was a passionate condemnation of bullying. Which made sense now that he thought about it – Myrtle always went on about how mean Olive Hornby had been to her.

Remus glanced to Snape. She listened with rapt attention and didn’t seem to feel addressed at all. Ignorance, clearly, was bliss. 

Then again, the fact that Regulus was virtually glued to her side could also be the reason why she seemed to be in such an unusually good mood. 

Remus felt something tug at his robes. Ah, of course. Sirius. 

He walked to a secluded corner of the cool dungeon room. “Padfoot?”

“It’s terrible, Moony. I have to research that bubble head charm first thing we get out of here. In fact, I think I will go get a bit of fresh air. I’ll let you know if I come back.”

“Oh. Okay. See you later, I hope.”

He had missed the rest of the speech, but clapped loudly along with every other living person when it ended.


	11. Chapter 11

After the speech, music began to play. The ghosts formed couples. 

Not only the ghosts, in fact. Professor Sprout was dancing with the Fat Friar. 

Most of the students Myrtle had invited hung around the edges of the room, trying to not be in the way, same as Remus himself.  
What could you expect? She seemed to be drawn to sad people, and sad people didn’t want to dance, so ...

Oh. 

There was one student couple who was dancing. 

Though he wasn’t sure if it could be called dancing, it was more Snape stumbling to keep up with her partner. 

They seemed to be dancing in a group of four that also consisted of Moaning Myrtle and Nearly Headless Nick. 

Remus watched, fascinated. Nick and Regulus clearly had been taught how to dance. The girls more or less mirrored each other in stumbling around. The end result almost looked like it had been intended that way. 

Regulus seemed to genuinely be having fun, although he had to constantly be on his watch to avoid his toes being stepped on by his clumsy partner. 

Then again, he was Seeker. It was not much different from evading the bludgers. 

Remus wondered if Sirius could dance like this, too.

Dance lessons were hardly morally objectionable, and Sirius did have that catlike grace ...

The first dance ended. 

People moved around. Sprout now danced with a ghost who had an arrow sticking out of his forehead, while Snape and Myrtle swapped partners. 

Snape seemed to have gotten the hang of it a bit, but it was hard to tell, as she couldn’t step on Nick’s toes anyway – his feet were under the floor, so that he was on eye level with her. 

Regulus meanwhile effortlessly evaded Myrtle’s ghostly feet, probably out of habit. It was not like it could actually hurt.  
Myrtle looked happier than Remus had ever seen her. In fact, he wasn’t sure he had been aware she could be happy, other than at the prospect of someone joining her in death and misery. 

The third dance, Regulus danced with Snape again. It was a more lively dance, and at one point, Snape stumbled and would almost have fallen.  
Regulus got hold of her before that happened, but Remus saw the rat that ran away and hid under the buffet table. 

Wormtail. 

Right. They had planned to prank Snape, and hadn’t gotten very far. With the overall stench, one would hardly notice the rafflesia perfume.  
Regulus certainly had taken no notice of it, possibly he was even wearing a bubblehead charm, too. 

Remus felt that he owed it to his friends to make an effort at pranking, too, but ... how? 

What pranks could one play when one was in plain sight? 

There was one thing ...

Even Slytherins were terrified of the Bloody Baron. The first years, at any rate.

He summoned up all his courage and walked up to the Bloody Baron, who was currently not dancing. “Excuse me, sir?”

The Bloody Baron inclined his head. “Yes?”

“I was wondering ... um. You know Eileen Snape?”

A nod. 

“She’s had a terrible year, and ... I am sure she would be honoured if you asked her to dance.” Wait. What was he thinking? Trying to get the Bloody Baron, of all people, to do something because it would be kind?

Another nod. 

And indeed, when this dance ended and the next began, the Baron walked – floated – up to Snape. 

Good. His pranking duty was done. If Snape happened to not be scared mindless at the prospect of dancing with the blood-covered ghost, then that was hardly his fault.

What Remus had not foreseen was that this intervention meant Regulus didn’t have a partner anymore. 

The Slytherin took off his coat and placed it over the back of one of the chairs at the side of the room, then walked towards Remus like a Nundu stalking its prey. 

Crap. 

He must have noticed Remus talking to the Bloody Baron. Feign ignorance? Snape was a Slytherin and the Baron was her house ghost, she ought to feel honoured, right? But of course Regulus knew they were not friends and that Remus certainly had not intended to do Snape a favour, and ...

Remus looked around. Professor Sprout was nowhere to be seen. 

His heart beat loudly, his hands became sweaty. 

Run and hide? Would only make him look more guilty. And Peter would witness it. 

No. He had not been sorted into Gryffindor for nothing. If Regulus wanted a duel, a duel he would get.

Even if Madam Pomfrey had to scrape Remus off the floor afterwards. She would be able to heal him, she always was. 

Regulus had reached him. “You have been watching us.”

It was not a question. Remus swallowed. “Yes?”

“Do you want to dance?”

Remus blinked. “Dance?”

“Indeed.”

“With you?!” What was happening here? 

Regulus shrugged. “I would have suggested that you ask Myrtle Warren, but ... sure, why not?”

This conversation was taking an unexpected turn. Not that he complained. His chance at keeping all his limbs seemed to have increased quite a lot. “It’s just ... I can’t dance.”

“Neither can Snape. It is not a formal ball. Though I have to admit I am surprised that my brother did not offer to teach you. Aren’t you friends?”

So Sirius could dance. Remus shrugged. “It never came up.” They had been to lots of parties, but in the crowded common room, there wasn’t space for ballroom dancing. When celebrating Quidditch victories, one usually waved ones hands in the air, hoping to not accidentally hit someone, while singing a song that derided the losers. 

Not that Remus had usually even done that. He preferred a quiet space on the couch where he wouldn’t be hit in the face by someone’s elbow.

“For all that he talks about having fun, he doesn’t seem to have taught you how to have it.”

“Yes he did!”

Regulus raised an eyebrow and offered his hand. “Prove it.”

No Gryffindor worth his salt could ignore such a challenge. 

This dance was a very slow, formal one, where there was no touching except hands, and Remus could almost get by by mirroring Regulus’ steps. 

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Oh? Yes, yes.” Step to the right, step to the right ... Yes, he really was almost having fun. 

“I am glad to hear that. When you were not at breakfast on Monday, I wondered if it was something serious.”

His blood ran cold. Remus stumbled and could catch himself only after he had stepped right into the Bloody Baron. “Uh. I’m awfully sorry sir.” He hastily withdrew, now completely out of tune. 

His apology was accepted with a terse nod. 

“I am sorry. It was not my intention to ... distract you.” Regulus claimed. 

Ha, as if! Snape must have put him up to it. She was watching them, not even pretending to dance anymore. 

“Yeah right. Thanks for the dance.” Remus fled. 

Only to the edge of the room. 

He had been invited to this party. It was his right to be here, and he would not be scared away. 

Still, he was very relieved when a seeming eternity later, something invisible tugged at his robes. “Moony?”

“I think I stayed long enough so that it’s not rude to leave now”, he whispered. “Let’s?”

When they stepped out of the door, Peter was already waiting for them. 

“I couldn’t stay in there very long”, he explained. “It stinks.”

“Yes.” Sirius sighed, taking off the invisbility cloak. “Our pranks are all wasted.”

Remus shook his head. “The perfume will still work. Either when they leave the room or when they enter Slytherin common room.”

“Sniveleen didn’t look like she’d want to leave anytime soon”, Peter opined. 

“Students must leave at midnight. That’s in ...” He checked his watch. “Half an hour. We have time to see what Prongs is up to.”

The sight that greeted them when they entered the Prefects’ Bathroom was rather disconcerting. 

Bellatrix Black in a pool full of pink bubbles, shaving her legs, holding them out of the water one at a time. 

Remus looked at Sirius, and was unsurprised to find that he had averted his gaze. 

It must be even more disconcerting to one who knew Bellatrix. 

Even Remus could not imagine that the real Bellatrix would ever be seen dead in a pink bubble bath. 

“So, turns out the rotten food served at the deathday party stinks so much no one even noticed the rafflesia perfume”, Remus explained. “But I got the Bloody Baron to ask her to dance, and Peter made her stumble, so it was still a success. Plus, I expect everyone will notice the stench when they enter the Slytherin common room.”

“You could sneak into their common room”, Sirius suggested. “Bellatrix has probably gone to bed already, so you won’t meet her.”

“Sounds like a plan. Wormtail, there’s robes that’ll fit in my schoolbag over there. Moony, would you get me a towel?”

Remus fetched a towel. “You stole Snape’s robes?”

“I tried to steal them from the laundry, but there were no robes of hers there, which really tells you all you need to know about Sniveleen. Anyway, Evans’ robes will fit.”

“Mate, the usual item of clothing you ask of your lady love as a token is a glove. Taking the whole robe is rather excessive”, Sirius teased. 

“It’s just for practicality. They’re about the same height.” Prongs got out of the water and wrapped in the towel. Thankfully it was very large and fluffy. 

Remus checked his watch. “We should hurry. They might not stay until midnight.”

And indeed, they had only just arrived in the dungeons when they heard steps approach. 

Remus and Sirius shared the invisibility cloak, Wormtail was doing his thing, and an uncharacteristically cheerful Bellatrix Black stood nearby. 

It was a wonder, Remus mused, that no one had heard his heardbeat yet. It was fast and sounded impossibly loud in his ears.


	12. Chapter 12

Remus and Sirius shared the invisibility cloak, Wormtail was doing his thing, and an uncharacteristically cheerful Bellatrix Black stood nearby. 

It was a wonder, Remus mused, that no one had heard his heardbeat yet. It was fast and sounded impossibly loud in his ears.

“I had a great evening”, Snape was saying. “You are a a really good dancer. If you want to ... I might get into the Slug Club, and there’s parties, so ...”

“About that.” Regulus stopped, turning around to Snape, obstructing their view of her. “Snape, I like and respect you very much. But I hope you are aware that we will never be anything but friends?”

“Yeah, I know I’m ugly.” Remus couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for her, even after all she’d done to him.

“That is not it, Snape. You are just ... not my type.”

Ouch. That must have smarted. Didn’t he realize how cruel he was being?

Silence. Now Remus seriously felt bad for Snape. No one deserved that. She was a terrible person, but her looks were not her fault.

“Still, I did have a lot of fun tonight, and I do think we would both benefit from pretending that we are, in fact, dating.”

This was adding insult to injury. He should, probably, feel triumph that her evening was ruined, but he was just too soft-hearted to feel anything but compassion. 

“What would be in it for me?” Snape’s voice was all calculation, the defensive tone from earlier had all but vanished. 

“Is it not obvious?”

No answer.

“Let me see ... I can teach you how to dance. It is essential to fit in with the old families. My family has a library full of banned books that I could give you access to. Besides, I know you are enemies with my brother. He will be beside himself with rage when he hears of it.”

“Why would he? He hates you, he hates me, he probably thinks we deserve each other.”

“Yes, but the fact that I don’t flirt around like he does? That I might even get engaged before I am out of school? And to a fellow Slytherin?”

That sounded disturbingly like something Sirius would say. Swap the house names and the behaviours ...

“I see. Hm. Yes. Promise to invite me over the summer holidays and we have a deal.”

Regulus hesitated. “That’s not possible. My parents would frown on it. However, I can promise that I will attempt to persuade one of my cousins to invite you to the manor. Then I will invite her to the city house, and she will bring you along. It would not be improper for me to show you around in that case.”

“Good enough. Deal.”

“Do you require me to take an unbreakable vow?”

“We would need a bonder. The fewer people know of this charade, the better. Just ask Narcissa to invite me tomorrow morning at breakfast.”

“I appreciate your trust. Let’s?” Regulus extended his arm and this time, Snape actually placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. 

As soon as they were out of sight, Remus freed himself from the cloak he was sharing with a shaking Sirius. 

Not a moment too early. Turning into Padfoot, Sirius ran in the opposite direction, the others chasing after him. 

Up the stairs to Gryffindor tower, Remus was already panting for air, Padfoot turned into Sirius again. He was laughing so hard he seemed barely able to breathe.

“If I wanted to fake date, I would find a prettier girl”, Peter remarked. 

“A prettier girl would never let herself be treated like that.” In fact, he didn’t think Snape would have agreed to it, if not for the promise of access to a library full of dark curses. “Sirius, does your family really have that many banned books?”

His friend nodded, catching his breath. “He wasn’t exaggerating. If anything, he sold it short.” Sirius paused to tell the Fat Lady the password, then continued. “I didn’t know little Reggie had it in him. Fake dating Snape means he can get laid with all the pretty girls he wants. Not like anyone will suspect him of being with her for real.”

Remus still didn’t think it was justified. “He could get laid without fake dating anyone, though?”

“Nah, mother dearest would start to wonder why he never talks about a girlfriend. And she would want it to be a Slytherin, ideally. Problem is, Slytherin girls ...”

“Are all ugly?” Peter supplied. 

“That, too, but the main issue is that we are at least distantly related to almost all of them. Incest is a proud family tradition I do not particularly care to continue. I’m kinda relieved Reggie seems to think so, too. Mother probably wouldn’t even mind if he married a first cousin.” Sirius shuddered. “Like ... Bella.”

“She’s very hot.” Peter noted. 

Sirius cast him a disgusted glance. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

“I suppose you grew up together?”, Remus ventured a guess.

“Yeah. We visited lots, and they stayed for a couple months when my aunt was at St. Mungos with dragon pox. You guys are like my brothers, so if you talk about my cousins like that, it feels like incest.”

“What am I, then?”, Prongs grumbled. “The next door neighbour?”

“Oh, don’t be like that. You know I meant to include you. It takes some getting used to that you are a girl now, is all.”

Remus flinched. 

Sirius was the only one who could have said that and not immediately be attacked. Still, he was glared at, and Prongs stalked away without another word.

Peter pushed past Sirius. “Wait! I’m sure Padfoot didn’t mean it!”

He was really good at soothing Prongs’ feelings, so Remus decided to leave that to him. 

Sirius huffed. “Just because you’re a girl now, that’s no reason to behave like one!”

There were so many things wrong with that sentence, Remus’ head hurt from even just thinking about it. “You are somewhat insensitive sometimes, Padfoot.”

“I just miss _James_ sometimes.”

Remus didn’t know what to say to that, so he just remained silent and hated himself just a little bit more for it.


	13. Chapter 13

At the end of term feast, the mood at Gryffindor table was rather subdued. They were ten house points behind Slytherin. Just ten points!

The Great Hall was all green and silver and depressing. 

Everyone was probably thinking about the actions that had cost them just those ten points and how they could have been so easily avoided. 

Remus hated himself for that time he had taken away points from a fellow Gryffindor for bullying a Slytherin first year. Yes, the boy had been just a firstie, but it hadn’t been that bad. Just the usual stuff about sneaky snakes. 

He only half-heartedly paid attention to Dumbledore’s speech. 

“It is easy to be brave for the sake of your friends, but it takes a true Gryffindor to overcome his fears to do a kindness to an enemy. Therefore, I award twenty House Points to Mr Remus Lupin.”

Twenty ... what? That meant ...

The applause drowned out any thoughts he might have had on the matter. 

“What did you do?” Sirius asked when the noise had died down. “Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“I guess it is about me asking the Bloody Baron to dance with Snape. I didn’t expect she’d be happy about it ...” Perhaps the Bloody Baron had told Dumbledore?

“Moony, you’re the very bestest!”

It was hard to feel guilty about the undeserved points when Sirius was smiling his brillant smile. 

**

At the start of the new term, Remus shook his father’s hand and hugged his mother, then walked off towards the barrier between platforms nine and ten. He looked around. There were quite a few eleven-year-olds whose parents looked very muggle and very confused. 

Good prefect behaviour would have been to wear a pointy hat or something – anything – that was just unusual enough that they’d dare to ask him. Or he could just approach them. 

But he hated to stand out, and was too shy to approach strangers and risk making a fool of himself. 

Just when he had decided to give up and hope that all the new students found the platform on their own, he spotted Lily Evans’ red hair. She was already wearing her robes. They were not cut like a dress, there was no narrowing at the waist, but the difference was overlooked easily enough. 

“Lupin. Are you alright?”

“Yes, thanks, I am fine. I just wondered if we ought to help the new first years find the platform.” He looked around, finding one fear of his confirmed. “Do you see the girl over there?” A small girl with dirty blonde hair, wearing an oversized sweater and jeans that seemed ripped from actual use rather than fashion. She had a sports bag slung over her shoulder and was looking around with what looked to him like increasing panic. “I’ve been here for ten minutes or so and haven’t seen any adult she could belong with. If I talked to her, she’d think I was being creepy, so ...”

Evans nodded. “Thanks for telling me.” She strode over to the girl. Remus could hear her confident voice. “Hi, I’m Lily. I’m a prefect at Hogwarts school, and I wondered if you are headed there?”

The girl’s face lit up, but her answer was mumbled so quietly that Remus didn’t understand a word. 

Lily’s words had a second miraculous effect, too. A woman in a posh business suit approached him. “Excuse me, young man, do you know how to get to platform nine and three-quarters? My daughter’s school train leaves from there, and ...”

“Yes, of course.” He explained it. “I know it is hard to believe, but you will see other people doing it.” Would she? “Or at least, your daughter should be able to see it.”

“Thank you.”

It took a while, but finally, there were no more clueless looking families around and Remus hurried to follow Evans through the barrier. 

The full moon was drawing near, just a few days now, so pushing the trolley with his luggage felt more strenous than it usually did. 

He was quite relieved when Prongs waved to him through a train window and went off the train to help him. “Padfoot and Wormtail are undercover, it will be hilarious when everyone thinks they aren’t on the train, and suddenly they’re there. I will have to use the cloak.”

Yeah, a deer would stand out even on the Hogwarts Express. Not that Prongs didn’t stand out in that stunning pink dress, anyway. 

“Have fun. I can’t join in, you know, prefect.” He helped drag his luggage to the compartment. 

“Oh, wait.”

Prongs sounded a bit too delighted for Remus’ liking. 

Outside, Snape was running to catch the train, dragging a worn-out suitcase. 

Feeling something bad was about to happen, Remus followed Prongs to the door.Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Snape reached the train, set a foot on the steps ...

And then Prongs shoved her. 

The train whistled. 

“You can’t do that!”

But too late. Time passed normally again. Snape fell back, the door automatically closed and the train started moving. 

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, don’t be such a killjoy. She didn’t get hurt.”

“You made her miss the train!”

“So? Big deal. Her parents can apparate her to Hogwarts”

Having decided it was pointless to argue, Remus started running. Perhaps he could ask the train driver to drive back. 

Because he was pretty sure Snape’s parents weren’t at the platform. They might have already apparated home. 

He could not recall ever seeing them, and he was sure he would remember. Haughty purebloods who were ashamed of their daughter’s bad personal hygiene? Or the sort of cackling maniacs who lived in a house made of gingerbread? 

Any which way, they would stand out. Even if they were perfectly average, he would notice the contrast to Snape herself. 

“Watch where you are going!”

Oh. He had run straight into the conductor. “Sorry, sir. Um, do you think it would be possible to return to platform nine and three quarters? I saw a student miss the train.”

“It is not possible, but don’t worry, I am sure their parents can take them to Hogwarts. It’s allowed in case of such emergencies.”

“What if their parents are not at the platform anymore?”

The conductor shrugged. “They can ask any adult for help.”

“Assuming they’re too ... shy?” More like too prideful to ever admit to needing help, but still.

“They will get over it, rest assured. Nothing like a real emergency for personal growth.”

It was no use. 

Defeated, he dragged his feet to the prefects’ compartment. 

There was a heated debate going on. A new Hufflepuff prefect, Juliet Farmer, was a muggleborn and had just found out about house elves. “I am going to order pizza for every meal. No slave labour food for me.”

“Can you order pizza via owl?” It just didn’t seem to fit together. 

“I intend to find out.”

“The laundry is done by house elves, too”, a male Slytherin prefect informed her, apparently enjoing the conflict. 

“Well, then I’m going to do that myself, too!”

Remus gestured for Evans to follow him to a quieter part of the compartment. “Actually, now I wonder ... what does Snape think about the house elves?”

“She thinks they’re brainwashed into being happy to serve wizards. She’s denying them agency, and I get angry just thinking about it. Juliet is just naive, but Snape should know better. Why?”

“Oh, it’s just that ... someone intended to steal her robes from the laundry and didn’t find them, so I wondered if she’s doing her own laundry, too”

“No, she isn’t that unreasonable, she ... who is that someone?” Uh-oh. Evans had a suspicious look in her eyes.

“Um, I really can’t tell you, sorry.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Might that someone also have taken my robes? Because I am missing one set.”

Remus didn’t reply, but the look on his face was probably answer enough. 

“Oh, I can’t believe it!” She took a deep breath, and Remus wondered if she was going to explode.

“There’s someting more important”, he said hastily. “Snape missed the train.”

Evans paled. “Are you sure she isn’t on the train?”

“I saw her try and catch it, so yes.” Strange. He knew they had been friends for a long time, but Evans looked as if he had just announced Snape’s death. What did she know that he didn’t? 

“Oh. Okay.” Evans relaxed. “Well, it’s not really my responsibility, is it? The Slytherin prefects can deal with it. I’m sure her new death eater sweetheart will come to her rescue.”

“So you ... don’t think her parents can take her to Hogwarts?” 

“Probably not, neither of them can apparate. But she can take care of herself.”

Mysterious. He could have sworn Evans had been concerned before he had said he had witnessed Snape being late. 

So why ...

Was there reason to assume that Snape might not have made it to the platform?

Remus had been worried about Sirius over the summer, but that was hardly the same. After all, Sirius’ parents were pureblood fanatics, while Snape’s ... probably were the same, but Snape would agree with them, so why would there be a problem?

“What about your friends? Potter hasn’t pestered me yet, which seems wildly out of character, and I haven’t seen the others either. Are you sure they are on the train? Dare I hope Potter has grown a brain? Or is it just that my robes are more attractive than me?”

“Um. I am pretty sure that nothing has changed over the summer. And I’m sure if any of them missed the train, their parents would take them to Hogwarts by other means, so don’t worry.” 

No, even if he didn’t know about the prank, there would be no reason to worry. Sirius had fled his parents’ home in the holidays, so it had been clear that he’d turn up at the platform. 

Snape, on the other hand ... with Evans paling at the thought of her not being there ...

Remus informed the first Slytherin prefect he found, a boy named Avery, who told him to not worry his stupid Gryffindor head over it. 

He considered informing Regulus for a moment, then remembered that the alleged relationship was just a mutually beneficial deal, and Snape’s fake boyfriend would probably not care any more than Evans did. 

Still, he was angry enough at his friends to not return to their compartment. 

Which meant that the only thing he noticed of their prank was that quite a few Slytherins were visibly disappointed at the reveal that they’d been on the train all along. 

When he entered one of the horseless carriages, his friends, naturally, took the same one. 

“Did Evans worry about me?” Prongs inquired. 

Remus only hesitated for a moment. “No. She was rather distracted by the fact, that, you know, Snape wasn’t on the train.” That was perhaps cruel, but he was really, really angry. 

Playing pranks was all nice and good, but making someone miss the train crossed a line. 

He remembered all too well how it had been when he had boarded the train for the first time. How relieved he had been when no one had paid attention, no one had noticed what he was ... children chatting excitedly about their next year at Hogwarts ... it had been then that he had finally been able to believe that he would really go to Hogwarts. 

“Oh, come on. Someone will notice she’s missing soon enough.”

Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. 

Upon entering the Great Hall, Remus forgot his worries for a moment. It was as wonderful as ever. The starry sky above (even though today it was cloudy with occasional flashes of lightninig) the Hat’s song, the Sorting ...

And then, of course, the food. Even with his somewhat diminished appetite with the full moon approaching, the magically appearing food never failed to amaze him. 

He would nibble a bit on his favourites of the main course and then jump straight to dessert, to make the most of what appetite he had. 

However, Remus had only treated himself to a bit of light salad, when the gates of the Great Hall were pushed open. 

For a moment, he thought he saw a reanimated drowned body, illuminated by lightnings flashing through the sky. Stringy black hair hanging into a face pale as death ...

Then he realized that it was merely Snape, soaked with rain and murderously angry. 

Professor McGonagall got up and strode towards her. It happened so fast that Remus suspected the absence of one sixth year student had actually been noticed. “Where have you been?! Students who miss the train are required to - ” 

“I didn’t bloody miss the bloody train”, Snape spat. “Bloody fucking Potter shoved me out of it!”

“Ten points from Slytherin for foul language”, Professor McGonagall scolded. “And that is a serious accusation. Did any prefects witness the incident?”

“Only Lupin, and he doesn’t count, he’d claim the sky was pink if Potter asked him to.”

“Hmph. You may sit down and eat something while I talk to Lupin.” She turned and walked to Gryffindor table. “Mr Lupin, is it true? Did Miss Potter shove Miss Snape out of the train?”

It was as though his stomach had been turned to ice. The prefect badge suddenly seemed to burn like red-hot iron. Remus scratched together all the courage he had. “I am sure Gwenhwyfar did not intend for Snape to actually fall. Or miss the train. But yes, what Snape says is true.”

McGonagall’s features softened for a moment. “Twenty points to Gryffindor for being honest to me.” Then she turned to Prongs. “And twenty points taken from Gryffindor for making a fellow student miss the train. You are old enough to consider the consequences of your actions.”

“That’s not fair! You can’t take points for something that happened before the term started!”

McGonagall did not dignify that with an answer. She turned on her heel and walked away. 

Remus ducked his head and tried to not pay attention to the icy silence that had descended over the part of Gryffindor table where his friends were sitting. And to the angry glare that felt like it would burn holes into his robes sometime soon. 

Still, he couldn’t stomach more than a small bowl of mousse au chocolat. As he still had to stay to guide the first years to their dormitories, he spent the rest of the time watching Slytherin table. 

Regulus Black made a show of fussing over his fake girlfriend, putting his cloak around Snape’s shoulders, leading her to a seat near one of the large fireplaces and getting her a big cup of steaming tea. 

It would have fooled anyone who hadn’t listened to their negotiations. 

Helping the firsties was a nice distraction. As soon as the last dorm door had closed behind its new occupant, Remus felt very alone again. 

When Remus entered the dorm he shared with his friends, the curtains of their beds were all closed. 

The next morning at breakfast, he glanced towards his former friends only shortly before walking further along the table. “Can I sit with you?”

Marlene McKinnon seemed surprised, but nodded. “Sure. Potter is angry with you?”

“So it seems.” He smiled apologetically. “I didn’t want to lose us any house points, but I could not just lie to McGonagall’s face.”

She shrugged and poured herself some pumpkin juice. “Don’t worry about that. You earned as many points as Potter lost. We are still ten points ahead of Slytherin.”

“I’m glad you see it that way.” He settled for plain water, as the appetite-improving herbal tea he usually drank this time of the month was at his usual place on the table. “What’s the first lesson today?”

Marlene glanced at her timetable. “I don’t know what you chose, but I have potions first thing.”

“Oh, right, sorry. I am in potions, too.” Unlike his friends, he could never become an auror, of course, but since he could also not become a teacher – a career he would have liked very much – the idea of becoming a potioneer had some appeal.


	14. Chapter 14

Slughorn presented them with a riddle. A cauldron full of potion, which they were supposed to identify. 

It had a nice mother-of-pearl sheen and Remus felt drawn to it. The scent was irresistible. 

“Now, some of you might have guessed what it is. Miss Snape, what does it smell like to you? Please don’t tell the others what it is, we want to keep the element of surprise, yes?”

“Of course, sir”, Snape drawled. “It smells of old books, freshly cut grass and violets.”

Huh?

“And to you, Mr Lupin?”

“Um. Sunscreen, chocolate brownies and wet ... wet parchment.” Suddenly, he thought he knew what potion it might be. 

He wondered if Regulus Black used violet scented soap. 

“Miss Evans?”

“Ginger, raspberries and ...” She hesitated. “Something flowery, I am not sure.”

Something flowery. Like perfume. Seemed Prongs had a chance. 

Slughorn asked Snape to explain what potion it was, possibly trying to make amends for not having searched for her when she hadn’t arrived with the train. It would have been his job. But then, everyone knew how much he loved a good meal. 

“Amortentia, the most powerful of so-called love potions.”

“Very good! Five points to Slytherin!”

Yes, definitely trying to make amends. 

“Now, Miss Macdonald, can you tell us why Miss Snape stated that it was a so-called love potion?”

Silence. Mary wasn’t that good at potions, and she was muggleborn so wouldn’t have read about them. “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know.”

Remus put his hand up. 

“Mr Lupin?”

“The feeling caused by love potions is not true love, but an unhealthy obsession, so love potion is actually a misnomer.”

“Thank you. Indeed, true love has never been created by means of a spell or potion. However, the infatuation caused by Amortentia is strong enough to be very dangerous. Which is why you will learn to brew the antidote today.”

The group that had gathered round Slughorn’s table dispersed, and Remus was left wondering with whom to team up. 

“To me, it smells like Evan’s shampoo”, Prongs proclaimed loudly. 

“Ew, I will have to change brands”, Evans replied. Then, suddenly, she stood before him. “Lupin? Let’s work together.”

She did that on purpose, he was sure. She just wanted to piss Prongs off. But he wouldn’t complain. Working together with her was a guarantee for a perfect potion.

“Hey!” Ah, yes, She had achieved her purpose. “What does Lupin have that I don’t?”

Lily slowly turned around and looked Prongs straight in the eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps ... balls?”

You could have heard a needle fall in the silence that followed. 

Slughorn clapped his hands. “No dawdling!”

Remus followed Evans to a secluded corner of the room that was as far away from his friends as one could get. 

“You do the brewing and I prepare the ingredients?”, he asked. 

“Fine with me.”

They worked in silence for a while. At last, Remus felt the overall noise level was high enough so they had some privacy to talk. “Um. About what you said before. About, um, balls. Potter decided to keep them, you know? If that is the problem. It’s only transphobic bigots who think you need the, um, bottom surgery to be valid.” If they got together thanks to him, then perhaps Prongs would like him again. He hoped. “She says she’s a girl, so she is a girl, it is really only bigots who put any other conditions on it.”

Evans stared at him, green eyes widening in shock. “Oh. Oh no, I did not mean ... I would never ... Oh my God, that would have been such a crude thing to say, I can’t believe you thought...” She shook her head. “I was just speaking metaphorically. You know. Balls, guts, courage.”

“Oh.” He felt his face heat. He must have sounded like an idiot. “Um. Thank you.”

She attacked the daisy roots with a vengeance. “Let’s swap, I don’t think I can calm myself down enough to do the brewing. Anyway, it was very decent of you to tell McGonagall the truth. Shoving Snape is one thing, I’ve been tempted to do that myself, but putting you into that situation, waiting for you to spill the beans ... it was just cruel. There is nothing brave about expecting a prefect to not tell on you.”

“Thanks.” She was so passionate about it. He could almost see why Prongs was so obsessed with her. Of course, Remus would have given up on wooing her after the first explicit no. He was a quitter, he supposed. Perhaps being a werewolf wasn’t even his main problem. 

Still ... he couldn’t just decide to be different. He just was too sensitive to deal with the sort of thing Evans casually said. Like having to change her shampoo brand since her unwanted admirer liked it. 

Prongs thought it was feisty. 

Remus thought, silently and to himself, that it would break his heart to be rejected like this. No, if he ever summoned the courage to risk rejection, he would hope it would not be worse than a “But.” Like in “I like you as a friend, but ...”

At that point, he’d run away as to not have to hear the rest of the rejection.


	15. Chapter 15

A new year always meant a new teacher for Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

Remus recalled that the previous year’s teacher had misgendered Prongs close to the end of the year, leading to Dumbledore letting him go. 

This year’s teacher was a witch with a face like an old apple and a thick grey braid that fell down to her ankles. Since her body was also rather appleshaped and clad in bright green robes, the broad-brimmed pointy tan hat that completed her outfit made her look a bit like a cone with pistacchio ice cream that had fallen out of a giant child’s hand. 

She wrote her name on the blackboard. Shalott Appleby. There was some giggling in the back rows. 

“Your previous teachers taught you how to defend against the evil without”, Professor Appleby announced. “I, however, shall teach you how to guard against the evil within yourselves.”

Remus was intrigued. It was hit and miss with DADA professors, you could count yourself lucky if they taught you anything at all. Some, of course, turned out to have been evil all along at the end of the schoolyear, and the annoying thing was, that was usually the more competent ones. 

Professor Appleby sounded like she knew what she was doing. He wondered what her dark secret was.

“For our first lesson, we will take a look at the Mirror of Erised.” She gestured towards a mirror that was covered with a blanket. “There is an inscription on the frame that reads as follows.” 

She wrote on the blackboard: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.

“Now, can someone tell me what it means?”

It must be some ancient language. Latin? No, it did not look like Latin. Did the old pureblood families have a secret language?

There was an awkward silence, until Mary MacDonald raised her hand. 

“Yes?”

“I think it’s written backwards. If I read it the other way round, it says: “I show not your face but your heart’s desire.”

“Well done. Sometimes the solution is so simple that most are unable to see it. Ten points to Gryffindor.”

Professor Appleby wrote the new phrase on the blackboard. “And that is exactly what the mirror does. It shows your heart’s deepest desire.” She let her gaze wander over the class. “Now, does anyone have a guess as to what this has to do with the evil within?”

No one, apparently. 

“Mr Lupin?”

He felt sweat form on his palms. She could not know. She had not been there for even just one full moon. It was pure coincidence that she asked him about the evil within. 

That he knew all too well. 

“Our heart’s desire might be something evil?”

She nodded. “That is possible, yes. However, in most cases, one’s heart’s desire will be something neutral, like being famous, or even something good, like love. The danger is in what one might do to achieve it.” A pause. “I will unveil the mirror now. You must make an effort to not get too entranced by what the mirror shows you. It is not necessarily something that it is even possible to achieve.”

With a dramatic gesture, she pulled the sheet off the mirror. 

At first, Remus only saw the classroom, but then, the scene transformed. 

He and his family? He loved his parents, but was that his heart’s desire?

Then he noticed it. His father was standing closer to him than he usually did on such family outings, had a hand on his shoulder. It seemed to be night, but ...

Oh. 

There, behind the trees, was a round, bright and definitely full moon. 

“Does anyone want to tell the class what they see in the mirror?”

Very slowly, Evans raised her hand. 

“I see myself, getting married.”

Prongs whistled. 

“That’s five points from Gryffindor, Potter.” Professor Appleby smiled. “And six points for Gryffindor for being courageous enough to reveal your heart’s desire, Miss Evans.”

“No, wait – that wasn’t it.” Evans sounded as if she was about to cry. “My sister is my maid of honour. That’s the important thing. My sister has hated me ever since I started at Hogwarts and she couldn’t come.”

“Oh”, Professor Appleby said softly. “I am sorry that happened to you. Thank you very much for mentioning it – it is a good example of a desire that is very unlikely to tempt someone to evil. It might, however, have caused you to not live your full potential. Imagine if you had decided not to attend Hogwarts, to keep your sister’s love.”

Or, imagine, if you had not done your prefect duties in order to be liked by your friends. Yes, this was a good lesson. 

Remus still hoped he could have his cake and eat it, too. But apparently, his friends liking him again was not even his heart’s desire. He wasn’t sure how his desire might tempt him to evil. It was completely impossible to achieve. Just a dream. 

“I see myself getting married to Evans!”

“Thank you Potter, that is a good example of a desire you have to carefully control. It might lead you to become a better person and cease interrupting my lessons without having been asked to talk, or it might drive you to do foolish things like embarrassing Miss Evans in public in the mistaken assumption this will somehow make her like you.”

There was quite a lot of muffled laughter all over the classroom. 

“Many desires can go both ways. I have to admit I wonder why no one mentioned wanting to win the Quidditch Cup, yet. In such a case, one might either work very hard to improve oneself ... or one might turn to cheating.”

She drew a diagram. “In order to not be driven to evil by our desires, we must be ready to give up on them. Hard work is no guarantee to win, there might still be someone better. But hard work is the right way to go about it. Cheating is easy, and I will not lie to you and tell you that it will never succeed. Even if cheating gives you the Quidditch Cup, it is still wrong. What I can in good conscience tell you is that such a victory will feel hollow and empty. Unless what you truly desire is meaningless fame, you will ultimately not achieve happiness by cheating.”

Even though, at the end of the lesson, Remus had no more idea how to defend himself against You-Know-Who in case he attacked than before, he still walked away with the diffuse feeling of having learnt something meaningful. 

In any case, it had been interesting to watch what happened in the mirror. Perhaps, just perhaps, he would try to get another look by sneaking into the classroom at night.


	16. Chapter 16

Leena was sitting close to the common room fireplace, wrapped in a blanket and still shivering. 

She knew she was coming down with a cold. 

Now would be the ideal time to test her accidentally invented improvement of a pepperup potion. If she wasn’t feeling too crummy to brew anything at all. 

Asking someone else to brew it for her ... no, she did not want to incur more debts. 

After she’d cost Slytherin ten points before lessons even started, the pity of her housemates was limited and only granted her the space on the couch closest to the fire. 

At a table nearby, Andromeda Black got up. 

Leena froze. If none of the Black sisters was here, then everyone who wanted to take their frustration over the lost house points out on her would have it easy. 

Avery had already revealed that he had known she had missed the train and had simply not cared enough to even send a letter to the school.   
He still blamed her for the loss of house points, claiming that she didn’t have to swear. Bloody bastard likely never had been even just mildly frustrated in his whole bloody life, what would he know about swearing?

Leena relaxed when she noticed that Andromeda was walking towards her. 

“Could you help me with this? I mean, I know you don’t take the subject, but you know a lot of things, and I thought you might have encountered this?”

“Sure. Let me see.” Leena stared at the parchment, her brain refusing to process the information for a moment. 

‘List three possible uses for a muggle radio’

So Andromeda knew, or at least suspected she was a halfblood? Well, it was easy enough to figure out, there were no known magical families of the name of Snape. At best, that indicated a muggleborn parent. “You are taking that subject?”

“Know thy enemy?” Andromeda smiled sheepishly. 

Leena suspected that she had taken muggle studies simply out of curiosity, but it would not do to admit that. “Ah. Good idea.” Not that knowing her father had ever helped her much. “You already have entertainment listed, that is the obvious one. Another one would be news, like in the Daily Prophet, but read out loud, and perhaps ... I am not quite sure, but I think I heard somewhere that it might be possible to use it similar to the thing where you call via floo. That would be communication.”

“Thank you!” Andromeda beamed. 

“Just tell no one you have that from me.”

Andromeda didn’t really fit into Slytherin. Leena wondered why she’d been sorted there. Perhaps just family tradition? Was that possible? 

Some time later, Regulus entered the common room and immediately steered towards Leena. “Good evening, Princess. How was your first day back at school?”

She forced a smile. “Sit with me?”

He obliged at once, and she rested her head on his shoulder so that they could whisper to each other without someone wondering why they couldn’t understand a word. 

The latter, Leena of course ensured by placing a Muffliato charm on them. 

When they had exchanged news, she removed the charm. 

Regulus got up. “How about a cup of tea, Princess? I can get one from the kitchens.”

“That would be great, thanks.”

Across the room, Mulciber mimicked throwing up. He had done the same with Narcissa and Lucius, though only behind their backs. 

A cup of herbal tea later, Leena still felt crummy. But she couldn’t go to the hospital wing now. It was vital that she stay sick until the full moon. 

Then she would have a completely watertight excuse to walk into the hospital wing the morning after full moon. 

**

After another day with his friends pretending he didn’t exist, Remus decided to go to the hospital wing early. 

He had done that a couple of times in his first year – it was less conspicious if he didn’t only miss the one day after the full moon. And he didn’t feel great, either.

Madam Pomfrey was very understanding. 

“Don’t worry about your friends’ sulking too much, dear”, she said as she looked through her medicine cabinet. “You sixth years might all think you are very grown up and mature, but in truth, you are little more than children. It’s childish behaviour, that’s what it is, and they will soon realize how much they miss you.” She selected a Dreamless Sleep Potion and handed it to Remus. “It is, of course, terribly inconsiderate of them to be still sulking at this time, but I am sure, when you feel your worst, they will miraculously return to your side.”

If only he could so sure of that himself. 

Time seemed to pass slowly like treacle syrup. Even reading did not help a bit. It was like he could not properly focus without his friends’ noise in the background. 

It was silly. He had always liked to go to the library and take advantage of the silence, but now he felt unable to enjoy the perfect quiet in the hospital wing. 

His appetite declined even more than it usually did. 

Madam Pomfrey gave him some potions to stave off scurvy – that’s how she said it, she didn’t seem to have heard of vitamins – but warned him that she couldn’t do much against the weightloss. 

As time went on, she grew increasingly impatient with his friends, grumbling about their irresponsibility. 

Remus thought that was rather unfair – you couldn’t expect them not to sulk just because he was a werewolf. In fact, if they were really irresponsible, they could have outed him to the whole school. 

He didn’t want any special treatment. If getting no special treatment meant that his friends were angry at him at the time it affected him worst, well, then he wouldn’t complain.

At least that meant that when his friends forgave him, it would be genuine and not just because they had been told by Madam Pomfrey to not endanger his health. 

On the evening of the full moon, Remus had managed to convince himself that his friends would turn up as soon as Madam Pomfrey had left. 

They didn’t. 

Well, then as soon as he had transformed, surely?

After a night of torment, Remus woke up, with wounds on every body part he had been able to reach in wolf form, and could only conclude that his friends had not turned up. 

It was a mercy that, without animals there to remind him of his humanity, he had not even cared. 

Now, however, he did care. When Madam Pomfrey came to fetch him, he could barely wipe his eyes with the torn fabric of the bed curtains in time. 

And of course, she noticed it anyway, he was sure. 

She did not comment on it, but he could see the pity on her face, and one time, he noticed she was only moments away from caressing his hair as though he was still eleven years old and crying in pain, as he had after his first transformation at Hogwarts. 

“They better be sorry”, she grumbled while she helped him into his pyjamas.

She walked away, but he could still hear her grumble under her breath. “Poor boy ... had gotten so much better ... of course it would get worse with his spirit crushed.”

Madam Pomfrey had no idea that his friends kept him company in their animagus forms and that this was why he didn’t harm himself anymore, but of course she wasn’t stupid. She had assumed having friends helped him control himself better at full moons. Just that she of course thought it was something psychological. 

She grumbled while she brought him breakfast and grumbled all the time while going about her daily tasks. 

When she abruptly stopped, Remus could almost hear the silence as though it was a sound.

Then he heard her talk quietly to someone. 

And then she emerged from her office, grinning.”I told you.” She put a large plate on his nightstand. It was full of chocolate brownies. 

“The house elves told me the person who asked them to make those for you wanted to remain anonymous, but I do think someone is beginning to see reason.”

Yes. Someone. 

Someone who still didn’t dare admit to it, but all the same. 

Remus took one of the brownies and bit into it. Not exactly like the ones his mother made, but nevertheless, in that moment it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. 

Just when he was happily eating brownies while catching up on his homework, the door to the Hospital Wing opened and a sullen figure shuffled inside. 

Snape. Her hair wasn’t wet anymore, of course – nor was it oily, her new fake boyfriend must have set some conditions for their fake relationship – but her nose was red and seemed larger than ever before. 

She sniffed back her snot. “Hi Lupin. Feeling well enough to eat already?”

He stiffened. “Yes, thank you very much. Those brownies are delicious. Do you want one?”

Snape looked shocked and confused. “No thanks, I can’t taste anything, anyway.”

Madam Pomfrey came out of her office. “Leave my patient alone!”

“Sure, sure. Can I have a pepperup potion?”

“You should have come earlier”, Madam Pomfrey grumbled, but did get a potion. “And now off with you!”

All in all, Remus thought when he had the hospital wing to himself again, things could have been worse. He had chocolate brownies, and Snape hadn’t managed to say much. 

Perhaps he would try to stun her with politeness next time, too.

**

The visit to the hospital wing had not yielded as much new information as Leena would have liked, but at least she had been able to confirm that Potter and cronies hadn’t been there. 

Them not having a prefect with them was a distinct advantage. 

And of course, she didn’t have a cold anymore, which made the afternoon lesson of Care of Magical Creatures a lot more comfortable. 

They were supposed to work in pairs, trying to get a Bowtruckle to hold still for long enough so they could sketch it.

However, they were an uneven number. 

Lily looked at her, and for a moment, Leena hoped that she might choose to work with her.

“You look stupid with that steam coming out of your ears, Snape”, Lily said, turned around and asked Avery – Avery! – to work with her. 

Normally she would have been turned down for being muggleborn, Leena was sure of it, but Avery flashed her a cunning smirk and grudgingly accepted Lily’s suggestion. 

It was only ten house points! How could he be so petty about that! Especially since it was his own damn fault!

After Care, she had just about the time to check some books out from the library before she had to go to the Great Hall for dinner. 

Regulus was already waiting at the doors. He held out his arm. She put her hand on it.

“How did your visit at the hospital wing go?”

“So-so.” They were in public, so she could not be quite open. “Madam Pomfrey didn’t seem happy to see me. Accused me of disturbing her patient. Though Lupin didn’t look like he needed much more rest, if you ask me. He was stuffing his face with brownies. Even offered me one, the smug bastard, making sure to let me know they were delicious. As if I would ever accept food from a Gryffindor.”

“Perhaps you should have”, Regulus teased. “You seem regretful of not having taken the opportunity.”

“It isn’t worth the risk of being poisoned, is it?” 

“Ah, yes. But at least pretending to accept the offer might have given the appearance of friendly interaction and have allowed you to remain in the hospital wing for longer.”

“True, I had not considered Madam Pomfrey. Anyway, none of his friends were there, nor were the chocolate frogs they usually bring him, so I think we can safely assume that he is still in disgrace.”

Which meant open season on Pettigrew, Potter and Black. 

“Most useful information. I am beholden to you.”

“I think we are even, at most.” She had owed him before. 

“No, no, I could never have asked you to tarry so long in seeking the hospital wing.” He drew out a chair for her, waiting until she had sat down before taking the one next to her. 

She surveyed the table. No enemy nearby. “I got some books from the library. It is time to make Potter pay.”

“Yes, yes, I quite agree.” He did not seem to really listen, though. 

Leena focused on her meal. Shepherd’s pie. Which thanks to the pepperup potion, she would actually be able to taste. 

Yes, life was going her way, for once.


	17. Chapter 17

Remus picked at his Shepherd’s pie. He had gone to the Great Hall for dinner in the hopes that the brownies had been a peace offering, but now he feared they had just been one of his friends breaking the boycott. 

He wanted Sirius to be the one, but Sirius wasn’t sneaky like that. If Sirius thought he had suffered long enough, he would say so ... wouldn’t he? 

No, it was much more likely that it had been Wormtail. The same Wormtail who was sitting with Prongs, and, by the look of it, eagerly agreeing to everything Prongs said. 

Of course, Peter thinking that he was being treated unfairly was better than nothing. 

Still. Weren’t Gryffindors supposed to be brave? 

Remus angrily stabbed his pie with the fork. 

“Pass me the potatoes, please?”

He looked up and passed the potatoes to the sand-haired firstie sitting opposite him. 

“Thanks. By the way, there’s a Slytherin staring at me. Or you? Probably you, I’m only a first year, after all.”

Remus closed his eyes wearily. Why didn’t even his leper status with his friends give him a break from being bullied by Snape? “I know. Let’s just ignore it.”

Clearly, he had miscalculated when asking Evans for help. He had thought that Snape loved her like a sister and would do anything to get back into her good graces. 

Didn’t seem like it, now. 

**

The most fascinating book Leena had managed to get was bound in black leather and too large to hold in her hands. She had propped it up on a table and placed candles on each side of it.

“You used a cold flame spell?” Regulus asked as he sat down next to her. 

“Obviously, I’m not stupid. Now, let’s see.” She leisurely flipped the pages. “Oh, that’s an interesting one. Makes it so that any spell aimed at the person thus enchanted does not hit him, but his dearest loved one. Hmm. How much do you like your brother?”

“We were closer once than we are now, but I would not risk it.”

“Too bad. Using it on Potter is out, too risky. Hm. What do you think would happen if we used it on your brother? I guess it would just hit Potter, which wouldn’t be too useful.” Entertaining, though. 

“Could also affect some girl he is sweet on. Or cousin Andromeda, he always got along with her. I do not think we should use that spell.”

“You are right, the effects are too hard to calculate, that’s no use. Here’s something to give the target nightmares. Sweet.” The ingredients for the ritual would be rather hard to procure, though. 

She turned another page. “Giving the illusion that your flesh is rotting. Neat, but too obviously an illusion. Though Pettigrew is stupid enough to squeak and run to Madam Pomfrey.” But he was not her main target. “We need something more direct. Let’s see ...”

Ah, finally they were getting somewhere. Cursing off body parts. “Summons the manhood of the target to a location of the caster’s choosing ... wait.” Did that mean ... “Manhood here means ...?”

“The genitals”, Regulus said delicately. 

“Ew. No thanks, I don’t want to see that. Why not the nose?” But there was no curse to remove noses.

Regulus flipped the book back to the beginning. “What about this one? Makes the target see himself for who he really is.”

“Would only work on Pettigrew. I just bet that Potter and Black know exactly who they are and are perfectly fine with it.” Thinking about it ... “In fact, the new DADA teacher, Professor Appleby, has this mirror that makes you see your heart’s desire. That gets as close to showing your real self as you get. I wasn’t there, but I don’t think Potter has any shame about wanting to get into Lily’s pants.”

“Oh? What did you see in that mirror?”

“I didn’t have a chance to look. Only heard about it. Everyone is talking about how exciting their first lesson was, but Slytherin got singled out for a boring lecture on how the Dark Lord is evil because he blew up a few buildings.”

Regulus nodded. “She does not seem to ... understand.”

“Not at all. Blah, blah, poor innocent muggles. Innocent my ar- ahem. Anyway, she went on about the poor helpless muggles who need protection. Would be news to my – my next door neighbour, for example. Terribly violent man. Sure likes to beat me up, all thanks to me not being allowed to do magic in the holidays.”

“Your parents actually enforce that?”

Leena shrugged, careful to appear detached. “No choice. We live in a muggle area.”

“Muggles would be much better off if we were in charge. All those poor children who die from the pox just because we are not allowed to heal muggles!”

Pox was not exactly a good example, but explaining that would be suspicious. “For example, yes. I bet Professor Appleby never took Muggle Studies, or she would know better. I don’t get all that fuss about a few destroyed buildings. It’s just buildings. There was plenty time to evacuate the muggles, too.”

Regulus nodded. “She does seem terribly uninformed, but that is not her fault. It would do no good to antagonize her.I did my best to appear to agree with her. I would follow the same strategy with my brother if I did not just ... care too much.”

“I get what you mean. I never try to talk about women’s rights with pretty much anyone, I know people don’t like it. But with Lily – Evans, I mean ... I just cared too much and wanted her to see my point of view.”

“Yes”, Regulus said softly. “Caring too much. Perhaps a weakness, in the long run.”

**

Near Gryffindor tower, there was a corridor everyone had to pass through to reach the tower. In the corridor, there was a painting. In the painting was a little girl in a white dress and a crown of daisies. 

She was bored. The holidays were over, but still, nothing exciting had happened for a long while. 

But there! At last!

Those two students belonged in the dungeons, that’s where she saw them when visiting the other portraits. 

One moment, they were there. The next, they weren’t. They had become invisible!

The little girl clapped her hands. Something was happening!

And sure enough, not long after that, three students left Gryffindor tower. 

The girl knew them. The one with the glasses, who seemed to be a floating head was the leader. Then there was the handsome one, and the one who looked a bit like a rat. 

She liked them, because they always did interesting things. She giggled thinking about how funny it would be when they met the two who were hiding. 

“What’s that?” hissed the rat-looking one. 

“Just the giggling girl”, replied the leader. “Don’t shit your -”

She never found out what the rat boy was not supposed to shit, because a flood of water manifested below the ceiling and fell on the group of three. 

Spluttering and cursing, they looked around. 

That was when the dungeon girl became visible again. She smirked. “Oh? Don’t like cold water, Potter?”

“You! You bitch!”

A giant band-aid manifested in the air and attached itself to the mouth of the one with the glasses. 

“Manners, Potter, manners.” Now the dungeon boy became visible. “Seriously, brother mine, how can you spend your time in such terrible company?”

The handsome one drew his wand and pointed it at the dungeon boy, but just as he was about to cast the spell, the dungeon girl hit him with an Expelliarmus.

“Ew”, she said, pocketing his wand. “I sure hope you washed your hands before touching that.”

Now, the rat boy drew his wand. He didn’t look like he was used to fighting. “Tarantallegra!”, he squeaked. 

Oh! How delightful! The dungeon girl began to dance. Only she didn’t seem all that happy about it. 

She pointed her wand at her left hand. “Tarantula transforma!”

Her hand! Her hand fell off and turned into a giant spider!

Dungeon boy casually pointed his wand at the girl and murmured something that caused her to stop dancing. “As much as I love to see you dance, perhaps another time.”

The Hand-spider crawled towards the one with the glasses, who was just now ripping off the band-aid. 

“I’m not afraid of spiders, Sniveleen.”

“Watch your mouth, Potter. The only one who is allowed to use nicknames for my girlfriend am I.”

Rat boy did seem afraid of spiders – he paled and clung to the handsome one’s robes. 

“Don’t be such a coward, Worms”, handsome one scolded. “We still outnumber them.”

Hell broke loose. There were bats flying around, and at one point, the spider sat on rat boy’s face, which caused him to scream. 

Then, all of a sudden, it was over. 

“It would be a miracle if Filch hadn’t heard that”, the one with the glasses said. “Good thing I managed to end the fight. You have your wand, Padfoot?”

“Yeah. I will have to scrub the grease off it.” He put it into his sleeve, then looked at the floor. “How does that spell work? Will true love’s kiss change them back?”

Oh. The dungeon students were frogs now. The little girl giggled.

There was also a rat. She thought it might be the rat-like boy. 

“True love is one of the ways to end the effect, but it might be difficult for them to kiss each other. Being frogs and all.”

“Also, they would have to love each other in the first place.” Handsome one threw his head back and laughed. “Moony, where is Filch right now?”

“Sirius!”

“Hm? Oh, right, right, Moony isn’t with us, but who has the map, then?”

They looked at each other, terror dawning on their faces. 

“Let’s run for it. Peter, hop on my shoulder if you insist on staying a rat. I swear, Filch intentionally doesn’t feed that cat of his.”

It was a very funny sight, a boy with a rat on his shoulder and a disembodied head fleeing the corridor. 

The little girl giggled. 

Soft steps approached. 

The two little frogs trembled. 

An old man with half-moon glasses approached. He was wearing a sky-blue dressing gown with a matching night cap. 

He looked at the frogs and knelt down, his joints creaking as he did so. “There, there. Hop on my palm. I am sure we can find a way to turn you back.”

Getting up took him a while. Then he walked away, carrying the two frogs on his right hand. “Ah, the things you encounter in a simple quest for a cup of hot chocolate”, he said to himself.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two new chapters today, because it's Christmas! Don't miss the first one.

The next morning dawned grey and foggy. 

It perfectly matched Remus’ mood. 

He’d seen his friends leave the common room after curfew. Without him. Without even telling him. He had been tempted to tell on them, but had thought better of it. 

It would have been petty revenge, and after all, they weren’t harming anyone by being out after curfew. 

So he had just drawn the curtains around his bed shut and tried to sleep. 

Apparently, it had worked.

Not that he felt very well rested. 

Remus would have liked to stay in bed, but he knew he could not. 

And when he met the other prefects in the common room, he was glad he had not made the easy choice. 

They were all looking at him expectantly. “Um. So, it is my turn to escort the first years to breakfast?”

Nods all around. 

It was a point of contention, some thought it was not necessary, but right now, those who thought it necessary outnumbered those who did not. 

Hogwarts was very confusing when you were new, and there were all sorts of ways to get lost. 

Yes, it made sense. 

But it also meant that he had to wait until all the first years had turned up, which raised the risk of meeting his still-sulking friends.

Evans stayed behind to keep him company, and when they noticed that someone was missing, went to the girl dorms to fetch her. 

The girl with the sand-coloured hair padded down the stairs, yawning and with her robes put on inside out. “Sorry”, she mumbled, staring at the ground. 

“No problem.”

At last, they set out into the corridors. Everything went well, until they were in the hallway that led to the Great Hall.

Sensing something wrong, Remus looked up. It was Peeves, with a very heavy looking bust of Rowena Ravenclaw. 

Everything happened in seconds. The bust fell, hurtling towards a very unsuspecting head of messy, sand-coloured hair.   
Remus leapt, pushing the girl out of the way. 

The next thing he clearly remembered after that was a terrible pain in his right leg, and Peeves cackling. “Oooch, floored by Rowena’s wit, are you?”

Then, there was a pair of concerned green eyes. 

“Lupin? Are you alright?”

“Just a broken leg, I think.”

“That was very brave what you just did. I think ... yes, I think it is only fair to award you ten points for Gryffindor.”

Remus heard a noise and turned his head, just in time to see a jealous expression on Prongs’ face.

“Thank you. Um. I think I need the hospital wing?” He hoped sand-hair was okay, but it felt awkward to ask when he couldn’t remember her name. 

“Of course.” She stood and straightened her robes. “Potter, Black, you take him to the hospital wing – if you can get your heads out of your rears for long enough to see where you are going.”

“No need to be crude, Evans.” 

Remus froze. That was not Sirius’ voice.

“But of course, I am glad to assist our valiant fallen warrior here”, Regulus continued. 

Remus could just about imagine the malicious smirk that accompanied those words. 

“In your dreams, Black. I meant the other Black. Obviously. The Gryffindor one.”

Thank goodness for Evans’ wit. For the life of him, Remus could not imagine what he himself would have replied if confronted with such an obvious, yet smoothly worded attempt to get a fellow Gryffindor surrendered to the mercy of a Slytherin. 

Evans conjured a stretcher and helped him onto it. “And I don’t care how angry you are at him, if anything happens to him on the way to the hospital wing, then McGonagall will hear about it.”

“You hurt me, Evans. Have I ever disregarded your wishes?” Prongs’ usual theatrics. 

No answer. Remus could imagine Evans’ glare. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he was glad to see the sand-haired girl smile awkwardly. She did seem unharmed. 

At last, his former friends took the stretcher and carried him away. An awkward silence ensued. 

“Listen, Prongs”, Remus pleaded. “I’m sorry I had to tell on you, but what could I have done? Lied to McGonagall? You know she would have known. Perhaps she couldn’t have taken any house points, but she would have known. It could have cost me the badge at the first little infraction she could actually prove.”

“No, Moony, I’m sorry. I should have thought of that before I shoved Snape.”

When they arrived at the hospital wing, they were the best of friends again, and Remus considered that well worth the temporary pain of a broken leg, which Madam Pomfrey had healed in seconds. 

“Off you go”, she said cheerfully. “It won’t do for you to miss breakfast.”

“Race to the Great Hall”, Sirius announced, and as soon they were out of Madam Pomfrey’s sight turned into Padfoot. 

“You are cheating!” Remus shouted, laughing. 

He was out of breath when they arrived at Gryffindor table. 

“You won’t believe what happened last night!”

For the first time in days, Remus ate his breakfast toast with good appetite, listening to his friends chatter on about their nightly adventure. 

All was well. 

In celebration of their renewed friendship, that evening, they gathered together and looked at the Map. 

It was always fun to see the tiny names move about. There was Filch, and the name of Mrs. Norris was intertwined with his. They were in the office, which suggested Filch sitting there with the cat on his lap. 

Did he ever have Mrs. Norris on his lap? Remus had always seen her more like some kind of hunting dog that Filch used to catch rulebreakers, but it was hardly imagineable that she was locked in a kennel after doing her job. 

“Hey! What is Snape doing there?” Sirius pointed out an empty classroom. 

“Snogging her boyfriend?”, Remus suggested. There was no other name nearby, but she might be waiting.

“They’re just faking it”, Peter reminded him. 

True. It was stupid to envy them when they paraded around, always entering the Great Hall together. 

It just looked so damn real. 

“I know. Just joking. They could be meeting in secret, anyways. To talk about how to pretend better.” He tapped the map with his wand to enlargen the picture. “That’s the DADA classroom. Perhaps she’s sabotaging something?”

She didn’t move. And finally it hit him. “She’s looking at the mirror.”

He wondered what she saw. Evans being friends with her again?

Remus recalled with a pang of conscience that friendship restored had not been his own greatest desire. 

So perhaps not for Snape, either. 

Of course, Evans had said she wanted her sister back ...

But Evans was just too good and pure for this world. And that wasn’t just what Prongs thought. She really was a good person. 

Not like him. 

Or Snape. 

Whatever it was that Snape was seeing, it must be fascinating, as she spent a long time in the room.

“She’ll be back”, Sirius said. “How about I turn into Padfoot and hide there, to jump out when she’s not expecting it? She’ll think I’m a Grim!”

“Cool idea, but I think I have a better one. Listen ...”


	19. Chapter 19

“There is some risk involved”, Leena admitted. “But if we watch out for Potter and his cronies, the worst that can happen is that we get caught by Filch and get detention.”

“And the classroom is not trapped?”

“Professor Appleby doesn’t seem the type, and I didn’t find any traps when I went there last night.”

“You were there already? What is your heart’s -?”, Regulus asked excitedly, before interrupting himself. “Um. Sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“It’s alright, you probably know already. Nothing surprising. But let’s wait until you know if you want to tell me what yours is.”

“Right.”

“Good. Now, remember, we could be followed and watched at all times. You recall how Potter was only part visible last night? I think he has an invisibility cloak.”

Despite not being a habitual rulebreaker like his brother, Regulus was surprisingly good at sneaking around.

He followed her inobtrusively, like a shadow. Graceful and silent. 

She could really get used to this. 

After looking around again, she pushed the door to the DADA classroom open. 

Regulus pointed at the mirror. She nodded. 

He tiptoed there and removed the sheet. 

And there, it was, again. The dearest wish of her heart. 

She could look at it for hours. Days, even. 

“What do you see?” Regulus whispered after longingly gazing into the mirror for a long time. 

“I see ...”

**

They were all sitting on Peter’s bed, Padfoot and Prongs on one side, Remus and Wormtail on the other. 

In the middle, among them, one of the two-way mirrors. The other they had put in the DADA classroom and it worked like a charm. 

“I see”, Snape started again. “Myself. In the dress robes I wore to the Deathday party. I am sitting on –”

Wormtail sneezed. 

“... and wearing a crown -” Another sneeze. 

“Peter!”

Wormtail hid in Remus’ sleeve.

“What do you see?”

“I’m standing on the astronomy tower, a clear, starry sky above me.” Regulus stepped closer to the mirror and touched it. 

“With a girl?” It was impossible to tell if Snape sounded resentful. She seemed rather good at hiding her emotions. 

Regulus turned so that they could see the side of his face. A smile tugged at his lips. 

So that was a yes. 

He looked back to the mirror and continued:   
“By the light of the moon, I am reading the Daily Prophet. It says I have been given the Order of Merlin, first class, for advances in potion-making.”

“Ambitious, aren’t you?”, Snape teased. “Do you see a prefect’s badge, too?”

“Actually, now that you mention it, yes.” Regulus smiled and extended a hand. “Let us make a promise. Together, we can achieve our hearts’ desires.”

Snape intertwined her fingers with his. “You know what? My heart’s desire is crap. Let’s focus on yours. That is, if you are willing to share the fame?”

“Certainly.”

“You can’t imagine how glad I am to hear that”, Sirius said when his brother and Snape had left the DADA classroom. “I thought for sure his dearest ambition was to join up with Voldemort.”

“Could still be he wants to receive that Order of Merlin from Moldy Voldy.”

“I wonder what Snape saw.” Remus removed Wormtail from his sleeve and gently lowered him onto the bed. 

Prongs grinned. “She said it. Crap.”

“Oh, don’t be so childish!”

Peter took that moment to turn back into a boy, which meant space on the bed was rather cramped. He sneezed again. “Sorry.”

“You should see Madam Pomfrey”, Remus suggested. “Seems you caught a cold.”

“Will do.” 

“I had hoped for something smaller”, Prongs mused. “Something we could ruin. Making Snape be bad at potions might be hard.”

“You would seriously ruin someone’s dearest desire? Just because you can?” When would they grow up already?

“Siriusly”, Sirius said. 

“If it is crap? Sure. It’s a pity we didn’t get to hear what Snape wanted.” Prongs glared at Peter.

“Probably to be a princess. Doesn’t every girl want that?”

Everyone stared at him. 

“Um? I mean ... muggle girls want that, anyway.” You probably didn’t want to be a princess so much when you could be a witch, but with Snape’s looks, he could see why she would want it. “It’s not so much about being royalty as it is about being pretty and, um, popular, I guess?”

Which also explained why Snape would tell Regulus that she didn’t want to try and achieve it. 

Next to academic achievement, it must seem rather shallow. But the mirror didn’t lie. The heart wanted what it wanted. 

Even if it wanted the impossible. “What do you see in the Mirror of Erised, Peter?”

“Same thing as Regulus, actually”, Peter admitted quietly. “That is, not quite? I see the Minister of Magic awarding me the Order of Merlin.”

“And you?” He turned to look at Sirius. 

“Me, in auror robes, on top of a mountain of Death Eater bodies.”

Remus suppressed a sigh. It must feel so great to want an Order of Merlin or just victory over Death Eaters. To have nothing else you wanted fixed. 

He would be so incredibly glad if he just could be normal. Healthy. Sure, he wanted Voldemort gone, too, but ... 

He was not selfless enough for that to be his dearest desire.


	20. Chapter 20

October brought foggy days and cold nights. It was always the worst time of the year, perhaps because of that line he had heard in a movie, one time, after sneaking out to meet with the neighbour’s children, muggles.

“... when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright ...”

Naturally, the events of an, albeit extremely unrealistic, movie about werewolves had upset him greatly.

He had only a fuzzy memory of the ending or of what, exactly, had happened after he had seen the movie. At some time an adult had turned up and scolded the children, and someone must have called his mother, for he distinctly remembered her warm embrace and her vanilla perfume.

At the time, that had been enough to comfort him. He could not have been much older than six.

Now he knew there was no escape from the moon. Ever.

She was a harsh mistress indeed.

One more morning waking up on a wooden floor, one more time getting into bed in the hospital wing as the morning dawned.

After Madam Pomfrey had shooed his friends out of the hospital wing, Remus glanced at the uneaten chocolate frog on his bedside drawer, smiled and drifted into uneasy sleep.

Upon waking, he found that there was a bunch of flowers on the bedside table. White roses.

“Did someone visit?”

“I did not see anyone”, Madam Pomfrey huffed. “They must have snuck in while I was in my office.”

Remus sat up and drew the curtain around his bed open to get a better look at the roses.

Someone sending him flowers. His friends weren’t prone to that kind of thing. Too ... sentimental. No, they never had before and surely never would.

Could he have a secret admirer?

His heart beat faster. It was impossible. Completely impossible. And yet ...

There was a card tied to the flowers. Trying to untie the green silk ribbon, Remus displaced some roses and saw another flower hidden among them.

Wolfsbane.

With trembling hands, he untied the ribbon, then pulled the curtain closed before reading the small card.

“I wish you a speedy recovery”, it said.

The signature was three letters, artfully intertwined with each other. “RAB”

Remus felt nausea rise in his throat.

Fortunately that was not unusual. He groped for the bucket next to the bed, found it, and threw up.

“Oh dear. Does the scent disturb you?”

“Yes.” Remus wiped his mouth with the clean handkerchief Madam Pomfrey handed him. “It is a bit much.”

The roses had a clean, fresh scent that would have been pleasant if not for the message they sent.

“I will take them to my office and put a spell on them, so they will be nice and fresh when you leave.”

“Thank you, Madam.”

He heard her grumble to herself as she walked away. “White flowers for a sick boy. No doubt meant well, but did no one teach them that white flowers are for funerals?”

Remus felt even more nauseous at hearing that, but his stomach was thankfully empty by now.

Halloween approached, and of course, the Marauders had to think of a big prank.

It was tradition, after all.

Remus turned another page in the Zonko’s Joke Shop catalogue. “What about this: Glow-y-Pee – add the colour- and tasteless powder to any food and make the urine of your prank victim glow in the dark as well as under any magical light source.” It was a bit immature, but harmless. He liked harmless.

“Yes!” Peter squeaked. “And, and, we can do the thing again where we put shield charms on the toilet seat!”

“Oh yes.” Sirius grinned. “That one was a huge success in first year.”

“This time, let’s do the girls’ toilets, too”, Prongs agreed.

**

Leena had always liked Halloween. It was the only time of year she got compliments and sweets.

Only when growing up had she realized that the compliments for her great witch costume were because the muggles thought her nose was fake.

But that was past now.

Regulus was waiting in the common room to escort her to the Halloween Feast. She had told him it wasn’t necessary, that she didn’t need protection ... but in vain.

“It’s just proper manners”, he had replied. “Most men nowadays only display proper manners when courting. Hence ...”

And he was right. It was the most convenient way to convince everyone they were a couple without having to get caught snogging in the corridors.

As usual, the Feast was splendid. There was a choir of banshees, the Great Hall was illuminated not by floating candles but by floating, hollowed-out turnips that glowed from within in a spooky green light.

Slytherin table was abuzz with the news that Death Eaters had been sighted in London, Hyde Park.

“Using the Cruciatus curse on a group of elderly witches who had been demonstrating for Squib Rights”, Andromeda informed them. “I think that’s just not right. ”

“Yeah, demonstrate for Squib Rights, how dare they, those ugly hags”, Mulciber growled.

“Oh, I am sure those were not real Death Eaters.” Regulus put down his half-eaten chocolate brownie and used a napkin to remove the crumbs from his lips. “None of the ones I know would ever display such mindless cruelty and blatant disrespect towards their elders and betters.”

“The Dark Mark was in the sky” Andromeda said. “Here, read for yourself.” She handed him the newspaper.

He skimmed the article. “Well, it is a symbol. Anyone can use it. Death Eaters are brave fighters for the freedom of witch- and wizardkind. Those people there – they are just some fanatic fringe group.”

“Squibs are a myth”, Bellatrix stated. “It’s just babies having their magical souls stolen by muggles and replaced with those of their muggle offspring. Use the cruciatus on them a couple times, the muggle soul will flee and that of your real baby will be returned.”

“How would muggles be able to steal our babies’ souls?” Regulus asked. “That is one of the darkest kinds of magic, they would never have access to it.”

“Obviously, it is the alleged muggleborns who do it.” Bellatrix pointed at Leena. “It’s a good thing you don’t hang out with that mudblood anymore, she’d steal your firstborn’s soul the moment you let her close, I promise.”

“Yeah, right. As if.” As if either a baby or a visit by Lily would ever happen.

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Would Evans not, according to your theory, have the soul of a pureblood witch? Then why would she do such a thing?”

Bellatrix blushed furiously. “They – they ... well they still are on the muggles’ side, are they not? They’ve been raised by muggles.”

“Ah, but then Squibs would have pledged their allegiance to the magical world, and should be treated accordingly, should they not?”

Bellatrix drew her wand and blasted one of the turnips floating above them to smithereens before getting up and leaving the table.

“It has always been difficult to reason with Bella”, Andromeda said with a sigh. “It is best to not mention muggles to her at all.”

Leena sipped at her pumpkin juice. “So it seems. Reg, I think we should leave.”

“Ah. Yes, quite right. Just let me finish my meal.”

Andromeda smiled suggestively. “You have plans for tonight?”

“Yeah. Some extracurricular studies.”

“I see. Do I need to tell your dormmates they ought to stay in the common room, Reg?”

“Andromeda! I would never bring a girl into my dorm!”

“We found a disused classroom”, Leena explained. “We won’t be doing anything we’d need a bed for.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t think less of you if you did. Reg, there is no need to be quite so prudish, we know you would never ... take advantage of a lady.”

“That is not the point.” He stood and removed an invisible speck of dust from his robes. “The point of observing the rules of propriety, dear cousin, is to make it the more obvious when someone is up to no good. It is the fact that any decent person knocks on the door before entering that allows us to know to have our wands at the ready when someone does enter uninvited.” Regulus offered his arm and Leena laid her hand on it.

“Are you sure about this?”, he asked while they walked towards the gates. “You do not have to. I would fully understand, if -”

“I said I would do it, didn’t I?”

“And yet ... if we were to get caught ...”

“Yeah, yeah, utter ruin and a fate worse than death, I know. We did the research together, remember? I suggested it! If you got cold feet, just say so.”

“I did not ... I was just making sure I am not pressuring you into this, is all.”

They lighted their wands and entered the disused classroom. Leena sniffed. “Violets?”

Regulus shrugged. “You said very publicly that it is your favourite scent, and I thought ...”

“Ah. I see. Clever.”

It would not matter to the magic that the candles at the edges of the pentagram were scented, and if they got caught at any point before or after, they could pretend to be snogging.

Explaining away the ground unicorn horn might be a bit more challenging.

They went about their respective tasks silently. Leena sprinkled the unicorn horn on the floor in the outline of a pentagram, Regulus placed the candles at the edges.

He stepped back. “Hm, I think that line there is a little thin.”

Leena got up and looked it over. “True.” She sprinkled some more unicorn horn on it. “Better to not take any risks.” If the spirit got out ... there was no imagining what he might do.

Now, the only thing left to do was to place the sacrifice inside the pentagram.

“Do you think Herpo speaks modern English?”

“In case he does not, I have translated our questions into ancient Greek. No need to worry about that.”

He spoke ancient Greek? Why did that even surprise her. She’d seen his family’s home. Filthy stinking rich.

She touched her pentagram pendant. Just in case something did go wrong. “You have your amulet?”

“Yes. Let us begin.”

***********

I do not usually link to pictures, but since I am aware most readers won't have a NEWT (or even just an OWL) in herbology, and it is near impossible to describe plants to those who are not already familiar with them:

The roses look like this: [Rose](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Rose%2C_Aspirin_Rose%2C_%E3%83%90%E3%83%A9%2C_%E3%82%A2%E3%82%B9%E3%83%94%E3%83%AA%E3%83%B3_%E3%83%AD%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA%2C_%2815703533438%29.jpg/1024px-Rose%2C_Aspirin_Rose%2C_%E3%83%90%E3%83%A9%2C_%E3%82%A2%E3%82%B9%E3%83%94%E3%83%AA%E3%83%B3_%E3%83%AD%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA%2C_%2815703533438%29.jpg)

And the wolfsbane looks like this: [Wolfsbane](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.d1fAUEFuxMcTgh2k5ovl8gHaJ3%26pid%3DApi&f=1)

Please give feedback on whether you find the links useful. I am rather sceptical of the whole "adding pictures to a written story" thing, and will only continue doing so if they're helpful for at least some readers.


	21. Chapter 21

Remus smiled. He was full of delicious food, and just now, everyone began to notice that they had been pranked. Whispers filled the Great Hall. Everyone looked at them, the famous Marauders, but of course no one could quite prove they had done it. 

Just like the good old times. 

Except ... “Where is Peter?”

“He said something about wanting to see if Sniveleen peed herself.”

“She has been gone for a while, now.” How long could it have taken Peter to find out if she was headed for one of the toilets?

“Guys! And girl!” Peter squeaked. He crawled out from under the table. “You won’t believe what I saw!”

Remus froze. Surely Peter did not mean ...

“Does Sniveleen’s pee glow green?”

“No, no, that’s not – Snape and Regulus, they’re summoning a demon!”

Oh. Crap. “A demon? Are you sure?”

Peter described how he had seen them draw a pentagram on the floor. “They talked about whether someone called Herpo speaks English.”

“Herpo?” Sirius paled. “That’d be Herpo the Foul. Famous dark wizard. Did they say what they want with him?”

“Ask him questions, it sounded like. Why?”

“It is not even known whether he is dead. He might have ... used dark magic to keep himself not quite alive, but not quite dead, either.Where are they?”

“A classroom on third floor. I’ll show you.”

They ran after Peter. 

“On the up side”, Sirius panted, “If we can prove what they did, they’ll get expelled for sure.”

When they arrived, they found the door locked. 

“Step back.” Prongs had run barefoot and now placed the pair of Gryffindor-red high heels in a safe distance from the door. “I will try to blast it open. Bombarda maxima!”

The solid oaken door quivered, but did not yield. 

“We don’t know how much time we have left”, Remus realized. “Peter, if we can blast a small hole in the door, could you interrupt the summoning?”

Peter stared at him with fear in his eyes. “I don’t know anything about dark magic!”

“Neither do we. Just knock over one of the candles or something”, Prongs advised. “Padfoot, let’s try the lower right corner, together, on the count of three. One, two, Bombarda!”

Wood splintered. The hole was just small enough for a rat to squeeze through. From within, there was the sound of Latin chanting. 

“Now it’s your turn, Wormy.”

“I know it is scary”, Remus said quietly. “But I know you can do it, Peter. You haven’t been sorted in Gryffindor for nothing.”

Peter shrank into his animagus form and pushed himself through the hole. 

They heard an unearthly, screeching sound. After a seemingly endless time, a quivering rat emerged from the hole in the door, smearing blood all over from a wound in his tail. 

A cold shiver ran through Remus. Somehow, he sensed the proximity of dark magic. 

The rat turned into Peter. “I think I did it.” Then he collapsed on the floor. 

“We have to get the door open at once, if we want any chance to prove what they did”, Moony stated calmly. “At the count of three, everyone.”

This time, the door yielded to their united powers. 

Inside, they found white rose petals scattered on the floor, violet-scented candles, and a rather disheveled young couple. 

No proof of anything untowards going on. 

Almost. 

The prefect badge on his chest meant he could take points. “That’s ten points from Slytherin for impropriety.”

“What is going on here?”, demanded an angry female voice. 

They turned around. 

A squat little witch approached. “Was that you?”, she asked, pointing an accusing finger at the destroyed door. 

“Professor Sprout. I do apologize for the inconvenience. My brother must have noticed me leaving the Great Hall with Miss Snape and seems to have developed a sudden urge to protect my virtue, causing him to blast open this door I admit to having locked quite intentionally.”  
Regulus Black stepped forward. “Lupin already took ten points from Slytherin for the, ah, impropriety, so perhaps ...?”

Sprout clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “You should know better, young man.”

“It was my idea.” Snape stepped forward. “We just wanted a bit of privacy. It’s not even past curfew.”

“Even so, you know Hogwarts does not condone such behaviour. Come to my office tomorrow at 6:00 p.m. for your detention, both of you.” She turned to cast the group that had destoryed the door a stern look. “Twenty points from Gryffindor for destruction of Hogwarts property, and you better repair that door if you don’t want detention, too.”

They looked expectantly at Moony. “You can repair that, Moons ... right?”

He sighed, drew his wand and muttered a spell. Splinter for splinter, the wook put itself back together, until not sign of damage was to be seen on the door anymore. 

“Wow, Remus, that was amazing!” Peter gushed. 

“All in all”, Sirius said as they walked back to the Great Hall. “It could have been worse. We interrupted the ritual and got them in detention. Halloween is the best time for summonings, so I don’t think they’ll try again anytime soon.”

**

At 6:10 p.m., Leena sat at a table in the kitchens and was making sandwiches. 

Well, not alone, of course. Regulus was next to her, humming quietly to himself. 

“Why sandwiches?” Leena asked. “We never get ready made sandwiches for any meal ... do we?” Perhaps the Quidditch players got them?

“Of course not!” The house elf who had assigned them the task sounded offended. “Those are for the staff room!”

“Oh, okay.” Madam Pomfrey probably needed sandwiches, to eat in short breaks when she was busy ....

“It would be demeaning to do such lowly work for our peers”, Regulus explained. “We are serving our elders and betters, as is proper.”

Leena snorted. 

“What is the matter?”

“Oh, nothing in particular, I just have trouble thinking of Slughorn as my better.” She had, without trouble, been able to improve upon three of the potions he had taught the class so far. A NEWT level class. It should not be that easy. 

“He is our elder and thus deserves our respect”, Regulus replied amiably. “Even if your skill surpasses his.”

Yeah right. That would mean she’d have to respect Tobias Snape. Hah. Forget it. 

The third day in the kitchens, Leena noticed that the house elves were unusually busy. “What’s the matter? Halloween feast is over, and Christmas is far away.”

“Yes.” Regulus frowned. “Someone might have had a specific request?”

Another Slug Club meeting Leena hadn’t been invited to? 

House elves were everywhere, darting to and fro, left and right. Leena could have sworn she saw some apparate. 

Leena took a break from sandwich-making to look around. 

Just as she watched, a house elf collapsed on the ground – and another house elf promptly walked over it!  
None of the elves seemed to pay any attention at all, busy with their task as they were. 

“Reg, look!”

She needn’t have told him. He had already gotten up and now gathered the collapsed elf in his arms. 

“Poor thing. Help me with this?”

Leena helped him carry the elf to a quiet corner where some bags of flour could serve as makeshift bed. “Should we get Madam Pomfrey?”

Regulus felt the house elf’s pulse. “Better not. It is probably just exhaustion. And ... they do not like being seen by healers. They feel it is not their proper place.”

“How on earth do they survive, then?”

“Normally, their magic can heal them. Being tended to by other house elves would make it more comfortable, I think ...” 

“It?” Now that she thought about it ... “You can’t tell if it is a female or male elf, either?” Unlike the other elves, who all wore tea towels, this one was dressed in frilly pink dress of muggle make. Just like other elves, it had no breasts or other secondary sex characteristics. In fact, it was unusually skinny.  
The face didn’t give any hints, either. Large eyes, bat ears ... the chin was not more or less pointy than in other house elves, or if so, Leena could not see it. 

“Hard to say.” Regulus frowned. “I don’t know any house elves other than Kreacher. But it does not matter. This elf has been freed recently, poor thing.”

“I don’t get why they don’t want to be free. This – this slave mentality is repulsive.”

“Shush. Do not use that kind of word around house elves, they will think you mean them. We should let it sleep in peace.”

They returned to their task, making sandwiches. 

“Whatever they are working on”, Regulus stated, slicing yet another slice of bread into perfect halves. “It was very unreasonable to request it of them. Must have been a student. I will talk to Professor Sprout – whoever did it ought to be punished.”

“There’s nothing in the school rules about not making unreasonable demands of the house elves, is there?”

“Actually, there is. But no one reads the rules.” Regulus wrinkled his nose in disgust. “No offense.”

“None taken. You are right, it is not like anyone even cares what the rules are. As long as there is no proper punishment, rules are just ignored.” See exhibit A, Potter and his cronies. Often, they even flouted the uniform rules in plain sight. Potter just wore sparkly high heels, when the rules clearly prescribed flat shoes. 

Had any teacher ever said anything about it? Of course not. 

“Teaching students about their proper role in society might help”, Regulus mused, preparing another sandwich. “If they understood that it is their duty to protect and guide the weaker magical beings, not to exploit ...”

“Even if you tried to teach that, it would take years to sink in.” If it ever sunk in at all. 

“Indeed. One probably should just protect the kitchen doors with a password only the teachers know.”

“Would be rather inconvenient to those of us who just want the occasional cup of tea.”

“That”, Regulus replied, squaring his shoulders. “Is a sacrifice I am fully prepared to make.”


	22. Chapter 22

The first November week brought with it the first Quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and as the Seeker’s girlfriend, it would have looked strange if Leena hadn’t gone. 

So she went.

A cold wind blew over the Hogwarts grounds, and watching Quidditch didn’t really help with warming up.   
She was glad she had brought her cauldron and could light a small, magical fire in it. 

Regulus seemed almost as bored as she was. He hovered over the field, but with all the fog, it was rather hard to see the snitch, and she wondered if he even had a clue where it might be.

Then, about two hours after the start of the match, the Gryffindor seeker suddenly darted towards the ground. 

Regulus followed him.

The Gryffindor seeker went down so far he almost hit the ground. 

Regulus stayed higher up, but ... what was he doing? He swung a leg over his broom, and ... oh, clever. 

He held onto his broom with his leg and one arm, reaching for the snitch. 

To no avail, neither of the seekers was successful. Leena spotted it close to the Slytherin goal posts. 

And then! Regulus was just below the snitch. Instead of flying a loop he jumped onto his broom, reaching for the snitch, and ...

Fell. 

Leena attempted to cast a Levicorpus on him, but couldn’t aim in the fog. 

He’d break his neck!

She had barely paid attention to what everyone else was doing, but someone in red robes had flown towards Regulus and grasped him, and ...

Fell off his own broom shortly after, causing both of them to fall. 

Madam Hooch blew her whistle, and Madam Pomfrey hurried onto the Quidditch pitch. 

Leena left the spectator stands and attempted to get to Regulus, expecting to be hindered. 

She was pleasantly surprised when all the Slytherin players parted to let her through.

Oh, right. Official girlfriend privilege. 

Regulus smiled, but his eyes were strangely glassy.

“Concussion”, Madam Pomfrey explained. “He has to stay at the hospital wing overnight, I’m afraid. Some things, only time can heal” She sat up. “Now, Potter let me see that arm.”

Potter? 

It was Potter who had caught him?

That was adding insult to injury. 

Also, it was completely out of character for Potter. Potter saving a Slytherin? Really, it was impossible. 

He must be possessed or something ...

Would be the first time she’d heard about a good spirit possessing an evil person, though. 

She took Regulus’ hand, because that just was what you did. It was icy cold so she put her other hand on top of it. “Do you recognize me?”

He closed his eyes. “Princess? Yes, I just feel a bit woozy. What happened?”

“Princess?”, a seventh-year Gryffindor she didn’t recognize asked. “He mistakes Sniveleen for a princess? That concussion must be worse than I thought.”

The whole Gryffindor team and the friends surrounding them howled with laughter, except for Potter, who was distracted by an apparently rather painful healing spell. 

“So what?” She looked straight at Potter’s friends. “You jealous you don’t have a boyfriend who treats you like a princess?”

“I’m not gay or something”, Pettigrew squeaked. 

“Yeah, I don’t really swing that way”, Sirius Black said casually. “Poor Regulus, I wonder who hit him over the head last year ... then again, I suppose our house elf must have dropped him one too many times when he was a baby, and it went all downhill from there.”

Lupin just watched, a shrewd expression in his yellow-green wolf eyes. 

“Never mind them.” Regulus whispered. “They will never have what we have.”

That was even true – they were much too obnoxious for anyone to even want to pretend to be in a relationship with them. 

Both patients were taken to the hospital wing, so she had to endure the company of Potter and cronies for even longer. 

**

Moony was a bit confused. “That was stunningly brave of you, Gwenhwyfar. But ... why?”

“Why what?”

“I thought you didn’t like him.” Remus was different. Remus was just too soft-hearted to let someone suffer. But ...

“Still don’t. But I couldn’t let Padfoot’s baby brother die, could I? Their old man might decide he wants an heir and force Sirius to go back there.”

He didn’t think that was the entire truth, but refrained from asking another question. 

Even if it had not been done for the glory of it, that didn’t stop the rest of the Gryffindor team asking questions about what had really happened, and somehow, the events seemed to get more and more impressive with every retelling. 

Eventually, Moony excused himself and made a beeline for the door. There was, after all, a library full of books just waiting to be read. 

He had only just rounded the next corner when a voice hissed: “Petrificus Totalus!”

It was not that he could not have defended himself. It was just that to do so would have been unwise. 

So he ended up stiff as a board and carried to a secluded corner by the two Slytherin beaters. 

“Are you sure it was him, Snape? Regulus might just have stumbled ... it was a dangerous maneuvre.”

“Pretty sure. Anyway, He’s one of Potter’s cronies, and I need not remind you of what Potter did.” 

Moony was only mildly surprised when blood trickled down the side of his face. A cutting spell. Of course. The pain was bearable, it was a like a very sharp knife. He had had much worse. 

Snape knelt over him. “I’m sorry if it hurts, but it will be all worth it, I promise. You will have such a beautiful scar ... of course, some murtlap essence and dittany would prevent scarring ... but only if applied in time.” She worked with precision, carving what felt like a rounded shape ... a half moon? “You will lie here for hours before anyone finds you. Tergeo!

His blood moved away, only for her to focus on his face again. “Now I can see what I am doing. Let me finish the picture ...”

“Snape, I hear steps!”, one of the Slytherins hissed. 

“Shit.” She got up and pocketed her wand. “Run!”

He weighed his options. 

A prefect would be believed by the teachers. 

On the other hand ... Remus had never told on Snape before. It just wasn’t the done thing, running to the teachers. 

Telling his friends? They’d ask why he had never told them before. 

A cat hissed and arched its back, it’s fur standing up. “What is it, dear? Another nasty little brat?”

The voice of an old man. Argus Filch?

“Oh. What have we here? One of you miscreants, entirely helpless ...” Filch cackled. 

This was getting very dangerous very fast. Perhaps fighting back would have been the smarter option. 

“A prefect? Then perhaps we should tell someone of him, shouldn’t we, my dear?”

The caretaker walked away, talking to his cat all the while. 

Murtlap and dittany really helped. The school nurse muttered to herself all while applying it. “Thought you’d be more sensible ...”

“Moony is more sensible”, Sirius stated. “You didn’t start a fight, did you? I bet those slimy Slytherins attacked you. Was it Snape?”

“Some boys from the Quidditch team”, he mumbled. “Just leave it be.”

Snape was in the hospital wing, too, acting as if nothing had happened. Gently brushing Regulus’ hair out of his face. “All is well, Reggie. Try to sleep a bit.”

On the way back to Gryffindor tower, Peter approached him. “What are you giving Padfoot for his birthday?”

Birthday? Damnations. Did he have a present? He should, Remus always carefully planned in advance, writing down all his appointments in the little calendar that also was a moon calendar. 

But what was it?

He searched his memory. “A muggle fantasy book. Padfoot loves to read them aloud, as they’re so unrealistic, getting the magic all wrong.”

“I’ll give him a muggle magazine. Perhaps that’s not enough? Gwenhwyfar is going to throw him a birthday party with a cake in the shape and size of a motorcycle, I am not sure if ...”

“He doesn’t have any use for another birthday party. And he always liked all the muggle stuff we gave him. Remember the toilet brush?”

Sirius was rather easy to amuse, really.


	23. Chapter 23

Leena was relieved when Regulus turned up to escort her to breakfast the next morning.

“Can you remember what happened before you fell off your broom?”, she asked. 

“Not really? Might have been a cramp. Your guess is as good as any other.”

She nodded. “In any case, it was a good excuse for attacking Lupin.”

“Worth it, then.” He brushed some invisible dirt off his robes. “Let us face the music. I do not think the others are amused I lost them the match.”

“Your teammates did not seem to hold it against you.”

“They were there and afraid for my life. Others might just remember I did not catch the snitch.”

Indeed, there were quite a few resentful whispers. Leena glared at the Slytherins in question. 

She had just only sat down for breakfast when a paper bird from Gryffindor table fluttered towards her.   
Leena caught it in the air, her heart beating faster. Could it be a letter from Lily? 

She unfolded it. 

“Snape,

if you want to see what Lupin is up to, press the knot on the Whomping Willow when he is sick next time.

A friend”

This smelled of a trap. And definitely was not from Lily. 

Leena pocketed it. Potentially useful, yet disappointing. 

Regulus, when she told him, felt all the excitement she didn’t. 

“There must be a hidden door there! That must be where he goes during full moons!”

She shook her head. “Come on. It came from Gryffindor table. It’s a trap. The Whomping Willow will probably bash our heads in if we do as instructed.”

The notion seemed to baffle Regulus. “Why would they tell us to wait until he is sick, then?”

“So that we will fall for the trap.” Which he had. “It is obviously a trap, so either something horrible happens if we press that knot ... or it actually is where he goes, in which case they intend we get slaughtered by a werewolf. Not even Potter would ... oh, who am I kidding. Actually, he totally would. If he thought he could get away with it. Dumbledore adores him, but this ... would be rather difficult to cover up.”

Regulus nodded. “My brother never thinks about whether he can get away with something. He just does it.”

“So that could have been his idea? I see. In this case ... if we are very careful, we could find out what the knot does.” She held up the little phial she had been working on. It was now sealed with sparkling sealing wax, and a tiny pentagram on the seal. Against the light, the contents appeared bright red like fresh blood. Just as had been described in the grimoire. “If there is indeed a secret room, it stands to reason that it is unused outside full moon. Perhaps it could be of use for our ... extracurricular activities.” Or not. “Depending on whether or not Potter and cronies use it themselves, that is.”

“Would Lupin want to be there at other times?”

A good question. What books she had been able to find on the topic – suspiciously few in the library of Hogwarts – had described the transformation as very painful, akin to the cruciatus curse. Not something one would want to be reminded of. 

Then again ... “Rest assured, the average boy does not have half the emotional depth you have. In fact, make that a quarter. Unless Lupin outright objects, they won’t even consider that it might hold unpleasant memories for him. But we will have to find out for ourselves. Let’s go explore tonight.”

If nothing else, it would be a good place to hide objects that they could not afford getting caught with. Like the phial she had in her pocket now – expulsion would be the least of their worries if anyone could trace it back to them. Yes, the phial ... it would make everything so much easier to know where Lupin spent the full moon.

A waxing gibbous moon hung on the sky when they made their way to the Whomping Willow. It was early morning, as Leena had noticed a pattern for Potter and cronies to stay up late and sleep in in the mornings. 

If there was a time when they weren’t there, it was now. 

Frost-covered grass cracked under their feet. “Okay, I won’t get any closer to the Whomping Willow than this. Throw that quaffle.”

He did, and it hit the knot. 

As though it was frozen, the Whomping Willow stilled. 

“Oh. Interesting. So that was not the trap. Stay under my shield charm, though.”

They tiptoed closer. Regulus picked up the quaffle. “A secret passageway”, he whispered reverently. 

“Any traps?”

He cast a few spells. “Nothing I can detect.”

They lighted their wands and entered the passageway. 

Roots poked out through the upper side of it, but the loam was smooth. 

It was a surprisingly long way to go. Any further and they would end up in Hogsmeade. 

Yet another turn of the passageway and they entered ... a room?

“So this is where”, Regulus breathed. 

“Seems like it.” The furniture was smashed, the curtains on the four- poster bed torn, and she could clearly see claw marks. 

They explored their surroundings. There was more than one room, the building was several storeys high, but each floor seemed to consist only of one room. 

Over the bedroom was a kind of old-fashioned washroom without running water, and over that, a store room where medical supplies were kept. The werewolf didn’t seem to have gotten there, nothing was destroyed. 

They descended the stairs, returning to the bedroom. 

“It is in a horrid state of disrepair.” Regulus wrinkled his nose. “All the dust – mother would get a heart attack just looking at it.”

“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Not everyone can live in a manor house. Or a posh city house.” Though the footprints of rats – must be rats, mice were smaller – in the dust on the windowsills admittely were a bit much. 

“Yes, but this ... it is not fit to be lived in.”

“It is not like anyone lives here”, she reminded him. “Lupin likely trashes the whole place every month. Would be a waste to repair it. Now, do help me find a good hiding place for the phial, will you? If they find it, all will have been for naught.” Even if they were too daft to show it to a teacher, which was proably the case. They wouldn’t know it was dark magic. Still, if they found it they would certainly keep it. 

Although she had to admit it really did not look like they used this place as secret headquarter. 

Even teenage boys would want a place that was at least a tiny bit more comfy ... wouldn’t they?

Though of course, Sirius would likely be thrilled at the thought that his mother would hate the place. 

After briefly considering the untouched looking storeroom, Leena at last settled for hiding the phial under a loose floorboard that was so far under the bed that no one was likely to ever look there. 

No one would think to ever look for something hidden in a place they had known about for years, would they?

When she emerged from underneath the bed, she found Regulus staring, transfixed, at a piece of torn curtain he held in his hand. 

“If you think this is a mess, you should see my room at home.”

“Hm?” He looked up.

“Snap out of it. Yes, it is dirty, but what do you expect from a place that gets trashed once a month? Now, let’s get out of here, we need to be back in the castle before breakfast.”


	24. Chapter 24

Sunlight fell through the cracks between the boards covering the windows.

Remus blinked. He must have fainted during the transformation. His bones were still aching, but it felt good, in a way, as though he was recovering from a fever. 

This time, he was lying on the bed. His friends must have stayed; someone had covered him with a blanket. 

“Are you alright?” Madam Pomfrey had entered and was looking at him with concern. “You do not appear hurt?”

“This month wasn’t so bad”, he confirmed. “Just strenous, as usual. I think that part might be getting worse?”

Her frown deepened. “There is little known about your condition. I will not lie to you, I have no idea whether it does get worse. Perhaps the clear sky is to blame.”

Oh, she had made that connection, too. 

“In any case, you have not hurt yourself this time. Or the last. Spending more time with your friends does you a world of good, that much is clear.”

Remus smiled. “Yeah.”

She helped him onto the stretcher she had conjured. “I am glad those cuts haven’t scarred. Are you sure you don’t want to tell me who did it?”

“Cuts?”

“You don’t remember?” She sighed. “The day your friend broke an arm?”

“Oh.” It was a bit of a blur, the one thing he most clearly recalled about that day was Snape looking him straight in the eyes and stating that he was just jealous. 

Like she had gazed straight at his soul. Those dark eyes of hers had always been unsettling. 

“Oh, that.” Yes, Snape had also attacked him, but that had not been as bad. 

No, the really scary thing was that he thought she had seen how lonely he felt at times, despite having such good friends. 

How desperately he wished there was someone to hold his hand when he woke up in pain ... someone to whom he was the first and foremost priority ...

Physical pain paled in comparison to that. 

And he didn’t want to escalate the conflict. Snape would be paid back by their usual pranking, anyways. 

“Someone got it into their heads that I was responsible for Regulus Black’s accident. Just some petty, misaimed revenge. I don’t want to make a big thing out of it.”

Madam Pomfrey huffed. “You know that it is perfectly acceptable to ask for help, yes? I know you want to fight your own fights, I was no different when I was a child, but when certain boundaries are crossed ... if they attack you because of your condition ...”

“I don’t think that’s it.” He really didn’t. Oh sure, Snape taunted him about it, but he was pretty sure it was actually about who he was friends with. If he wasn’t tagging along with her nemesis, none of the Slytherins would look at him twice. 

As it was, his condition was a vulnerable point they could attack ... but if not that, it would surely be something else. 

“Anyway, if it is about that accident, they should be ashamed. I just checked the Black boy over this morning, he has completely recovered, which he certainly would not have if Potter had not saved him.”

“I guess they don’t like that they owe us.”

**

It was in the middle of November that a beautiful owl landed next to Leena’s plate at breakfast. 

She could not wholly suppress her excitement, but ... of course. Not a letter from Lily. Lily had avoided her in all classes, and sometimes insulted her. 

Regulus looked at her questioningly. 

“Just a letter from Slughorn.” A very nice one. She ripped it open and found, unsurprised, that it contained an invitation to his Christmas party.

He must have decided that it was worth it to invite her, even though that meant Lily would likely not attend – Lily had, she knew, been invited to a private dinner hosted by Slughorn. He had been rather apologetic about not inviting Leena, but rambled on about Lily’s talent and how he didn’t want to scare her away. He had offered to persuade Lily to forgive her, but Leena knew that had been an empty promise – he would never let get other’s interests in the way of his own, and they both knew Lily would resent him for even cautiously suggesting any renewal of their friendship. She had never liked other people telling her what to do. 

“Oh, I got one, too. The Christmas party?”

“Yes. Are we going to go together or did you want to, um, invite someone else?”

“Together. Unless you wish to take someone else.”

Yeah, right. As if that was ever gonna happen. 

December came, and Lily still wouldn’t look at Leena. 

In fact, one time, she had even observed Potter with a calculating look in her eyes when it came to partnering up in potions. 

She had eventually settled on Lupin – but how long would that hold? 

Potter’s heroics at the Quidditch match must have impressed her. 

Hopefully, he would do something stupid, soon. 

Not that Leena particularly fancied being the victim of it. No, it would be best if he just attacked some innocent Slytherin firstie. That should catapult him out of Lily’s good graces very fast. 

Then, a particularly cold day, they were to harvest murtlap tentacles in Care of Magical Creatures. 

Leena had, once more, hoped in vain. Lily had swanned past her and loudly declared that she was going to work with Lupin, leaving Leena to partner with Mulciber. 

After watching Mulciber hack at the murtlap tentacles with the dullest knife he had been able to find in the supply shed for a few seconds, Leena cast a sectumsempra spell and just cut off all the tentacles at once. 

She was very pleased with herself for efficiently accomplishing the task at hand, when she heard Lily’s voice. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Lupin.”

“Thanks”, mumbled Lupin. “I, um, am good at healing spells.”

“You are such a nice guy”, Lily continued. “I can’t understand why you have such horrible friends.”

“They ... grow on you”, he replied. “When you get to know them.”

“Yeah, like mould”, Leena muttered under her breath. 

She looked the murtlap she and Mulciber were working on over. The wounds had already healed of their own accord. Little surprise, there was a reason murtlap essence was used for this very purpose. 

“Without the growth, they look rather different”, she mused. “Actually, this one reminds me a bit of Peter Pettigrew now” She raised her gaze to confirm the likeness, then remembered that he hadn’t made it into NEWT Level Care of Magical creatures.   
Only Potter and Black were nearby, making a game out of removing one tentacle at a time and waiting for the wound to close, taking bets as to how long it would take. 

Childish idiots. 

“This is boring”, Mulciber complained, poking the murtlap with his wand. “Just because you had to show off. Do you think he will notice if I practice the Cruciatus on this thing?”

“Don’t be an idiot. Of course he will notice. Your wand will be broken before you even get to –us, and you’ll be booted out on your ass before you can -”

“Language, Snape.” Kettleburn approached. He looked like he might take points. 

„Sorry, Professor? I was just talking about Mulciber’s pet donkey … wasn’t I?“

Mulciber grudgingly assented. 

“Ah. I see. You are done already?”

“I used a cutting charm, sir. It is sharper than the knives.” Not that that was hard. 

“Diffindo, eh? Good thinking. Five points for Slytherin.” He hobbled to the next pair of students. 

Leena smirked. “Still think I shouldn’t have done it efficiently?”

“Shut up.” 

**

Remus woke in the dark and was not able to go back to sleep. 

Christmas drew nearer. And with it, the time when he would have to write home. 

He wanted to spend Christmas at home. Desperately. His heart ached to see his mother and eat the misshapen Christmas cookies they made together – they always seemed to get at least one thing wrong, but it never mattered and they laughed about it ...

But then, he would also see his father. 

His father ... it was like he was inside a bubble head charm. He was there. He talked to Remus, but he never seemed to be ... quite there.  
Something was between them, had always been, since that fateful night ...

Remus sighed. 

It would be easier to just write that he had so much fun at Hogwarts he didn’t want to come home for Christmas. 

That would make his parents happy and his friends ... oh. Peter always went home for Christmas. Prongs sometimes. But lately, Prongs had complained about not being able to present feminine because of the restrictive uniform rules, and Padfoot - Padfoot who had always spent Christmas at Hogwarts since basically forever – had a new home with the Potters now. 

Remus didn’t want to make his friends feel obligated to keep him company. It was bearable to be alone when it was just because of Christmas, not thanks to being shunned on purpose.


	25. Chapter 25

Leena was lying on her stomach in front of the common room fire, paging through a book, a cup of hot chocolate next to her. 

The large window seemed covered in hoarfrost, but in reality, it was the frozen waters of the Black Lake. 

Scottish winters. She rarely went out when the lands were in their icy grip. In Cokeworth, right now, there would be a drizzle of half-frozen rain, at most.   
For that, the woolen school uniform cloak was plenty warm enough. 

Here ... everyone who could had some warming enchantments put on their clothes. Lily used muggle winterwear worn under her robes to fend off the cold. 

This winter, of course, was different. Regulus had heard Leena’s teeth chatter when walking next to her, and as it turned out, all pureblood wizards were taught how to enhance clothes’ capability to warm the wearer with spells. 

It had always felt like an imposition to accept Lily’s offer of lending her a sweater, but a spell was easily cast, and almost as easily taught. 

“Heart of a toddler, forcibly taken”, Regulus murmured. He sat nearby, leaning on the warm stones next to the fireplace. “Bone of a mother-murderer, willingly given ... you wonder about the implications ... I am not sure, Princess. Even assuming we manage to acquire all the ingredients, can we be sure Herpo told the truth? He could just have been messing with us.”

“The third one is really disgusting”, Leena agreed. “But ...”

“We cannot get the first one.”

She was losing her patience. “Just let me handle that part and focus on the side ingredients.”

“Eileen, I know you are a year ahead of me and the best at potions in your year, but I am not stupid. We might be able to get a bone without murdering someone, but ...”

She was seconds away from lashing out at him, but reigned herself in. “Oftentimes one can make substitutions. It is just that they need to be very similar. You remember the tale of Snow-White, Blood-Red and Ebony-Black? The reason why the evil queen took so long to figure out she’d been lied to is that a fawn is actually a pretty good substitute for a child, in that it is innocent and ...”

“Hush, Mulciber is here.”

She looked up. Indeed, the useless prefect was approaching.

It was better he didn’t know what they were up to. And it could be explained using other ingredients. She focused on Regulus again. “You see, some recipes use lady’s mantle because it is associated with dew and has a slight cooling effect. You can substitute it with a smaller amount of wolfsbane, which is tied to death and winter, but of course you have to be careful, wolfsbane is much more potent.”

“Wolfsbane ...” A smile played around Regulus’ lips. „What do you think, did Lupin like my gift?“

“Not enough to thank you, did he?”

“Alas.” He folded the list of ingredients and pocketed it. „Do you think I should dare another foray?”

„Hm.“ Leena considered it for a moment. “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more? Nah. Sounds like something Potter would do.“ And Potter was an idiot, so ... „No. You have sown the seed, let it burgeon.“ 

„With water and sunshine?“

„Moonshine might be quicker to achieve this particular objective“, she retorted drily. 

He frowned. “I’m not sure that would ...”

“Just joking.”

**

Remus helped himself to another portion of pumpkin soup. It was hot, spicy and just the perfect thing for a cold winter’s day. 

He looked up when Prongs plopped down on the chair next to him, ten minutes after everyone else had arrived.

“Try the pumpkin soup, it’s delicious”, he said as way of starting a conversation. “Almost as good as the Christmas feast usually is. By the way, what are your plans for Christmas?”

“Padfoot and I are going home this year, right, Pads?”

“That’s the plan. You’ll go home too, right, Moony? I know how much you miss your mum.”

It was hard to say if Sirius was just teasing him or had noticed how complicated things were for Remus. 

He preferred the latter interpretation. 

But for saving face, he had to pretend he had understood it as the former. “I don’t miss her that much. I have considered staying so that I can make use of the library, actually, but I’m not decided yet. What about you, Peter?” 

“I am not sure yet.”

Of course. Nothing had changed since last year. Peter would definitely go home for Christmas, he just didn’t want to appear like a mummy’s boy. 

Perhaps Remus should go home, too? 

But in Hogwarts, Christmas was ... Christmas. There were the trees and the garlands of holly, the delicious food ... but most of all, there was no ... wrongness. 

Of course, things were not perfect. Sometimes, his friends said insensitive things, and sometimes ... or rather very often, Snape attacked him. And recently, Regulus Black, too. 

Still. They behaved normally.

No one had a ... bubble around them. Not like the way his father had. 

Deep in thought, Remus was one of the last to notice that Filch had appeared in the Great Hall, hair in disorder and eyes gleaming with hatred. He strode towards the Head Table. 

“I demand that the murderer be brought to justice!”, he yelled with trembling voice. 

Murder? 

Remus flinched involuntarily. Was Filch talking of him? Had he killed someone during his last transformation?

“Murder? What happened, Argus?”, Dumbledore asked gently.

“Mrs. Norris is gone. I can’t find her. She never …“ The caretaker’s voice broke. 

Oh. Mrs. Norris. Then it couldn’t be his fault. Surely, her disappearance would have been noticed the very next day. 

Dumbledore had gotten up and walked towards Filch. “I am sure, we will be able to find her.”

He balanced his wand on his hand like a compass needle and murmured some words, too quietly for Remus to understand. 

“Ah. Mrs. Norris is alive, and somewhere outside on the grounds.”

Remus wondered if it was the same magic they’d used for the Marauder’s Map, or something more powerful. 

Dumbledore walked outside with Filch, and after short hesitation, curious students from all houses followed the two. 

And the sight that greeted them was well worth foregoing the meal: Mrs. Norris was indeed outside. More precisely, she was stuck on top of the Whomping Willow!

“Oh dear. Poor Mrs. Norris seems to have gotten herself into quite a pretty pickle.” Dumbledore did not seem at all disheartened about the screeching, hissing and straggling cat. 

Remus was more worried. Using a summoning charm on the poor thing would involve the risk of her getting injured – or more injured than she already was – by the trashing willow branches. 

Poor Filch. He didn’t deserve that. His love for his cat was perhaps the only nice thing about him, and now he had to watch her suffer. 

“I daresay I shall be able to rescue her, Argus.” Dumbledore stroked his beard. “Let me just consider the best course of action for a moment ...”

Before he could get around to that, though, students cried out at the sight of a lonely figure on a broom. 

“Potter! That’s Potter”, someone shouted. 

And indeed, it could be no one else. No one but Prongs would have dared to fly so close to the Whomping Willow. 

It was a Seeker’s move, diving close, much too close to danger, grasping the fur at the back of the cat’s neck, the turning the broom around just in time to not get hit by a branch. 

Mrs. Norris did not at all like being rescued, she hissed and scratched. 

Remus smiled when he recognized his friend. 

Of course it was Prongs, grinning as if it was the easiest thing in the world, long hair flowing in the wind. “You are welcome!”

Of course, just handing Mrs. Norris to Filch wouldn’t have been enough, no, Prongs had to drop the poor animal into its worried owner’s waiting arms. 

Which resulted in Filch getting scratches all over his face, but he didn’t seem to mind that at all. 

“What a daring rescue!” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled behind the half-moon glasses. „I would say that is worth fifty points to Gryffindor!“

The Gryffindors cheered, but for once, Prongs didn’t seem inclined to bask in the light of fame, instead focusing solely on the reaction of Lily Evans. 

Remus didn’t stand close enough to hear anything over the buzz of voices, but her face looked like grudging approval. 

The show being over, Remus returned to the Great Hall to eat the rest of his pumpkin soup. It had gone cold, but was still quite tasty. 

“Moony! Look at me!”

He turned around. Prongs was grinning. A face-splitting grin. Could that be healthy? 

„Evan asked me on a date!“

What? 

Remus blinked. This didn’t feel real. „So, uh, has hell finally frozen over?“

“Deflate your head a bit, mate”, Sirius scolded, then turned to Remus. “Actually, she said they’d be going to the party as friends.”

That was a bit more plausible. Still ... Remus had gotten so used to Prongs’ fruitless pursuit of Evans’ affections that it seemed extremely weird for Evans to actually reciprocate in any way whatsoever. 

At last, he shrugged. “Well, I told you that being a better person would impress her more than bullying her friend.”

“What? No, you never said that!”

He had not? Admittedly, he was not sure ... „I am certain I pointed out that pranking Snape would not impress her. Perhaps I didn’t actually say the other bit out loud ...”  
But it was obvious ... wasn’t it?


	26. Chapter 26

Sometimes, Regulus could be real pain in the ass. 

Such as now. Leena discarded another piece of parchment and started the letter anew. “Forging a letter isn’t like casting an unforgiveable curse. Merlin! Are you even listening to yourself? Do you want to achieve your heart’s desire, or not?“

They were in the common room, surrounded by other Slytherins. It was okay for others to know that they were forging a letter, but she didn’t really fancy them finding out about the plan. 

„I want to! And I never said it was as bad. It just does not feel right, is all.“

He was such a softie. “Just leave this to me. You can collect the mistletoe berries.”

“Mistletoe berries? What are we using them for? I know we do not have a complete list, but ...”

She really wasn’t keen on talking about this. “Third main ingredient. And no, I will not explain how or why it is a fitting substitution. Just ... trust me, you would not like the alternative.”

“You are the potions genius. It is just that mistletoe berries are such a common ingredient.”

“Which is why you should ideally harvest them on the day before winter solstice, the time when the sun is dying, so to speak, and, if possible, kiss someone under the mistletoe before plucking the berries. Can you do that?”

“Actually, this whole thing about having to kiss under the mistletoe whether you want to or not ...”

“Yeah, I never liked that, either.” Whoever had come up with that deserved to be hanged, drawn and quartered. “Regardless, it is very ancient magic. The nonsense about it being bad luck to not kiss any random idiot you meet under a mistletoe is just that, nonsense, but someone kissing under it does imbue the berries with magical properties.”

**

The party Evans had invited Prongs to was Slughorn’s Christmas party. 

A touch fancier than a deathday party. 

And of course, they could all participate in helping their friend choose a style. 

“That’s lovely, Gwenhwyfar!” Peter exclaimed at the very first outfit Prongs modeled. 

Remus frowned. He really didn’t want to say something hurtful, but … „Actually, I don’t think you should wear pink.“

„What? It looks great on me.“

„Yes, but it will clash with Evans’ hair.” Her red hair and the combination with pink ... no, just no. 

“She won’t notice.”

That was a good point. Unless there were mirrors, Evans would not actually see the colours clash. 

Still. Remus’ eyes would be offended. If he was there, which he would not be, but still. “You do want to look like a cute couple, though, don’t you? To onlookers?”

“Okay, true. What about … this, then?“

Just a flick of the wand, and the pink dress was changed into an impossibly tiny black .. thing.

Remus averted his gaze. “No, just no. You can’t wear that to a party!“

“What? Are you slut-shaming me?”

“No, it’s just ...” He sighed. „Evans should be able to look at you without blushing, right?“ Those legs. The sight was burnt into his mind, even though he had only looked for a second. Shapely, slender legs with muscles just in the right places ...   
He should not be thinking things like that about one of his best friends!

“Oh, she can blush all she wants.”

“No, Moony is right, mate, that’s just not ... classy.”

“You are one to talk, I actually got the inspiration from your magazines, Padfoot.”

“The ones I use for wanking? That’s the thing, I don’t think Evan wants to get it on right there on the dancefloor. She said she was inviting you as friend – don’t get ahead of yourself there.”

“Okay, okay, fine ... at least Moony seems to think I’m hotter than Bellatrix.”

Remus hid his face in his hands. “Stop it!” It was, shamefully, true. Bellatrix’ legs were just a bit too flabby, whereas Prongs ... Argh. 

“You can look again”, Padfoot informed him. 

He turned his face slowly. Ah. “That’s much better.”

The shoulders were showing, and he didn’t like to dwell on that too much, but at least those sinful calves were covered by beige overknee boots and there was only a hand’s breath of skin showing between the boots and the sparkly, cream-coloured dress. 

“No naysayers? Great, this one it is, then. Now, let’s talk about our traditional Christmas prank. I still think making Sniveleen fall in love with Slughorn would be hilarious.”

“Do you really want to ruin your friend-date with Evans by praking her friend?

“Ex friend, don’t forget. And it is not like Sniveleen would be harmed.”

That was true, Slughorn would immediately notice what was going on and give her an antidote ... but it still would be humiliating. 

“There must be some love in the air! After all I want to get Evans to kiss me.”

Remus sighed. “Then use amortentia as perfume or something. I doubt anyone being in love with Slughorn would inspire romantic feelings.“ 

“Yeah, that’s fun and all, but not really sexy, you know?” Sirius turned around, stretched his long legs and placed his feet on the dormitory’s oven. 

He looked almost like a philosopher, gazing at the ceiling as though deep in thought. “Hey, we could enchant a mistletoe so you can’t move away from under it unless you kiss someone. Then you get Evans under it ...”

Remus groaned. “At least make it require just a peck on the cheek. You don’t want to force anyone to kiss, I don’t know, Slughorn with tongue, do you?” Not to mention that Slughorn would be extremely unamused. 

**

“Are you sure I don’t look too muggle-like in this?”

Leena eyed her reflection in the mirror suspiciously. The outfit seemed to clash with the background of robes and pointy hats at Gladrags’ Wizardwear. 

The combination of auburn tail-coat with trousers and a top hat all the same colour ... it was old fashioned, but did it date back to the times before the Statute of Secrecy was introduced? 

“Remember, heart’s desire!” 

She deserved that, she guessed. For all the times she had told him to keep his eyes on the goal when he had faltered in his determination. 

“Don’t worry about looking muggle like – you will stand out from the crowd.”

Literally. The top hat would make sure of that. “Like a sore thumb.“

„No, in a fashionable way. Trust me, I am the fashion authority in my family.”

Yeah, right. “Considering that your brother usually looks like he just fell out of his bed and put on whatever he found under it, that doesn’t actually mean much.”

“Oh, you would be surprised at how long he always took in the bathroom to emerge looking like this. He does care about his appearance. He just wants to look like he does not.”

That made sense, she supposed. It would take an active effort to look as disheveled as Black did while wearing new, bespoke school uniform robes. 

“Fine. If I am going to stand out, anyway, perhaps a green hatband to add some variation?”

Regulus nodded. “Yes. Perfect.“

„Now, let’s discuss your outfit.“

He was wearing loose-fitting, dun-coloured dress robes that would not make him stand out at all.

Which, considering the last fancy outfit she had seen him wear ... “You are trying to blend into the background, aren’t you?”

“Of course. We do not want to draw attention away from you. I am a Black and Slytherin’s seeker. That is quite enough to secure me Professor Slughorn’s support.”

“What are you going to do with your hair?” He wore it in his usual ponytail, which she didn’t think was quite fancy enough for a Christmas party hosted by Slughorn. 

“I was thinking of a french braid? Perhaps tied with a green ribbon. I saw some very nice ones at the counter.”

“Sounds good.“

“That is settled, then. Let us find the tailor and place our order.”

Leena hesitated. “About that. You know I cannot really afford to spend money on fancy clothes.“ Or anything else but the barest necessities. She would have been utterly lost in summer if Regulus hadn’t lent her some galleons, when -

“I view it as investement in your career. You can pay me back when you are a successful potioneer.”

“If.”

“When.” He offered his arm. „Slughorn only invites promising young talents to his parties, and I am told he rarely errs in his judgement.“

**

Remus had written home about staying at Hogwarts, and as he had predicted, Peter had opted to go home. 

This was their last Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas. While the others had gone to Zonko’s joke shop, Remus had made a detour for Tomes and Scrolls, prompting many jokes about his Amortentia being the smell of wet parchment. 

Which made him really glad he had lied about that one, as he was not sure they would have held back with the jokes if they knew what it actually was. 

Having chosen some novels from the used books section, he now did not want to enter Zonko’s for fear that his new possessions would be damaged by a dungbomb. 

So he stood outside in the snow, watching the happy couples that went in and out of Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop. 

Then he caught sight of an especially well-tailored set of robes and cloak, accompanied by a very shabby one. 

Regulus and Snape.

And here he was, all alone, with a stack of easily damaged books in his arms. Farewell holiday entertainment. 

Well, he should use the holidays to catch up with his studying, anyway. 

The brims of their pointy hats hid their eyes, but surely, they must have noticed him? 

Closer and closer they came, he could hear the scrunching noise of their footsteps in the snow ...

“What do you say, Princess? A cup of tea and a piece of cake? My treat?”

Snape’s hat moved. “I could really do with a chocolate brownie right now ... but I will pay you back, you know?”

“Most certainly, yes. I am looking forward to it.“

And past him they went, into Madam Puddifoot’s. 

Remus sighed with relief, and envy. 

He really wanted a chocolate brownie now. 

And a nice cup of tea to warm his cold hands ...


	27. Chapter 27

The day of the party had arrived, and once again, Leena was abducted by the three nymphs also known as Black sisters, and subjected to a bath and a very unnecessary haircare routine. 

“I am going to wear a hat!”, she protested grumpily when Andromeda once more insisted on combing her hair. 

“No reason why your hair cannot look nice underneath. Let’s put it into a bun on top of your head, then we can put the hatpins through it.”

“Hatpins? I never needed any - “

„Shush. A lady should never go out without hatpins.” Narcissa smirked. “Remember your ... wardrobe mishap last year? Just in case of someone trying that again ... Bellatrix, you have Great-Aunt Alexia’s hatpins? Good, good, now let’s do this …“

At last, Leena was released from their clutches, just in time for the party. 

Everyone else was already there, vying for Slughorn’s attention. It was an illustrous group, not just students but also quite a large number of adults.   
Famous adults, probably, Slughorn would not settle for anything less than that. 

Still, the professor found the time to personally greet them. He pushed his way through the crowd, making generous use of his elbows until he had arrived at the door they had just entered through. 

“Regulus and Eileen! A please, a pleasure.“ He shook their hands, his eyes trailing appreciatively over her suit.

She knew that kind of look, it was the same the Black sisters had given her when they had seen her silver comb. 

Probably she was supposed to be likewise impressed at the decorations – all ice themed, icicles hanging from the ceiling and magical snow covering the floor – but she thought it rather flashy. 

“Come, come, you must try the mulled wine.” Slughorn ushered them to the buffet table, where a disgruntled looking student had been tasked with giving out the wine. 

Regulus raised an eyebrow when he was served first – according to him, you always served the lady first - but refrained from commenting. 

Leena had just taken her mug of mulled wine when Slughorn already had the next idea of what to do with her. 

“That is Damocles Belby over there! You absolutely must meet him – I told him so much about you.”

Wait, what? 

She had heard of Belby, of course, his name was on a dozen of essays she’d read for potions, but ... Slughorn had told him about her? 

As it turned out, Slughorn might just as well not have told Belby about her. 

The man showed no signs of recognizing her, or of even noticing he was not talking to Slughorn anymore, after Slughorn had left them to attend to his other guests. 

“... there is of course the question of whether werewolfry is a curse or more of a disease, a question which perforce must determine the cure. Mind, I have no personal interest in the condition, none at all, but it is the last remaining challenge to the ambitious potioneer, don’t you quite agree?”

“Of course, sir.” She did not have high hopes that having met this man could advance her career. He would never remember having met her. “The fact that werewolves prefer to attack witches and wizards over muggles, which promotes the spreading of werewolfry, would hint at it being a disease, but then there is the fact it is tied to the moon phases, which is a common trait in curses.”

“Yes, exactly! My word, you are a very bright young man, Mr ...?”

“Snape.” As she had suspected, he had not even been able to remember her name for five minutes. She probably had to thank the top hat for him being even aware of her presence. 

“Mr Snape. There are some who theorize that werewolfry – the term lykanthropy is used by muggles, hence professional circles do not use it anymore – that it is an ages old curse, created by one of the dark wizards of the classical world, but if you ask me, that is patent rubbish. It is a disease, I say, and anyone who wants to have any hope at finding a cure needs to acknowledge that. Cheers!” He raised his glass and Leena had to raise hers, too. 

Good thing that the ancestral hat pins of the house of Black were enchanted to protect the wearer from love potions and similar.   
She would not be at all surprised if Potter and his cronies had cooked up another attack on her dignity. 

Of course, Regulus would make sure she did not embarrass herself in the event that ... where was Regulus? 

“Please excuse me, sir, I just recalled that I promised to dance with my fiancé.” She did not wait for the answer – he would probably just continue to monologue about his potions plans – and elbowed her way through professional Quidditch players and book authors.

When she found Regulus, it was too late. 

He was standing in front of Potter, declaring his undying love in words too cheesy to repeat. 

“Say you would rather kiss my boots than Sniveleen’s lips”, Potter demanded. 

“I would rather kiss your boots than Sniveleen’s lips”, Regulus repeated in a voice a tad bit too slow. 

Love potion, definitely.

Would it work to put the protective hatpin into his french braid?

She tugged at the pin. The bloody thing wouldn’t come out!

Meanwhile, Potter smirked at her, then looked at Regulus. “Now do it. Kiss my boots.”

There was a circle of onlookers, laughing as if there was anything at all funny about it. 

“Too much mulled wine”, an elderly, chubby witch opined. 

Just as Regulus knelt down to do as he had been ordered, Leena drew her wand. “Imperio”, she mouthed, inaudibly, pointing it at Regulus. 

“Stop being silly, Reg. You have had too much mulled wine. Let’s leave.“

Would it work?

He got up so abruptly that he forgot to let go of Potter’s boot before, causing Potter to stumble backwards. 

“Let us leave.“ Regulus offered his arm and Leena put her hand on it, sliding her wand back into her sleeve. 

She ushered him safely through the door. 

Whew. That could have gone very wrong. If anyone had heard her use an unforgiveable curse …

“I saw what you did!”

Leena froze. 

Plain black robes, a pointy black hat decorated with a frosted wreath of holly, and under the hat, flame-red hair and a pair of blazing emerald eyes. 

“Lily, it’s not - ”

“I can’t believe it, Leena! Where did you even learn that spell? I had hoped there was still some good in you, but -”

“Please, Lily, I – he’s been drugged with love potion, don’t you see?”

“That is beside the point, you should not even know that spell!”

“Well, you are apparently able to recognize it, so don’t play innocent.” Leena drew her wand. “Finite incantatem!”

Regulus’ pupils enlarged again. “Where is my beloved? Where is Gwenhwyfar of the shiny ebony hair and the snowy, sturdy shoulders?”

“Just let me fix your hair, Reg. You don’t want to look disheveled in front of your love, right?” She pulled with all her might, and the ancestral hairpin at last came free. 

She poked it into his french braid, careful to not scratch his skin. Did it work like that?

“Princess? What happened?” He blinked. „Oh. Oh no.“ He looked around, taking in the situation. „Princess, it is not like that! Potter forced me to say that! I would kiss your lovely lips over any body part of his any day! I would rather kiss the soles of your shoes than - ”

“It’s alright, Reg. I’m not a bloody idiot, of course I know you were dosed with love potion.” She took the hairpin back and shoved it somewhere into the top hat for safekeeping. 

“Snape used the Imperius curse on you”, Lily informed him spitefully. 

“Hm? Very good, clever thinking, Princess.”

Lily put her hands on her hips. “Aren’t you at all angry, Black? Your girlfriend took away your free will!”

He made a dismissive gesture. “Yes, yes, my brother and I used to practice that on each other before we went to Hogwarts. No big deal.”

“Oh, I cannot believe it!” Lily huffed. “You are so immersed in dark magic, you can’t even see how wrong that is?”

Regulus shrugged. “I know it is illegal, but that is not the same as wrong.”

“It’s a dark spell! Combining it with love potion could have given you brain damage!”

„Unlikely. Eileen is very good at dark magic.Her spell felt like the touch of raven wings, barely just brushing by my mind.”

Leena had to bite her tongue to not lash out at him. Didn’t he see he was making everything worse? Very good at dark magic, yes, thank you, that was exactly what Lily needed to hear. 

“Actually, she looks very fetching in that suit, doesn’t she?”

Wait a moment … had the Imperius tangled with the love potion? Was he now in potions induced love with her? Lily didn’t know much about dark magic, but she was a potions prodigy ...

Lily looked her over. “That is muggle fashion, do you know that? Quite out of style muggle fashion, but still. I am surprised a pureblood supremacist like you would wear that.“

„Thank you for telling me what muggles wear, I had no idea”, Leena retorted. “I would have worn robes, only I heard Potter would be there, too, and I thought it would look classier in case he decided to dangle me upside down again.”

Lily bit her lips, emerald eyes blazing. She had no answer for that. 

“Speaking of Potter ...” Regulus nodded in the direction they were facing. 

Oh, of course. Potter could not even have the decency to stay at the party after ruining it for them. 

“Well, do excuse me. I have some prefect duties to take care of.” Lily stomped off, Potter chasing after her. 

Leena and Regulus looked at each other. 

“Want to go back to the party? It feels like we weren’t even there five minutes.”

“No objections, Princess.”

**

Remus was sitting in front of the common room fire, a mug of lady’s mantle tea next to him, reading a book. 

He took another sip of tea, smiling as he read the print on the mug. “Professor R.J. Lupin.” A joke between his mother and him. She was sure he would be a teacher one day. 

Perhaps he could get a job at a muggle primary school that urgently needed staff. He wouldn’t feel too bad about forging the documents for that – he was confident he could teach the basics of reading and writing and so on. 

His real dream, becoming a professor at Hogwarts ... that was out of reach. 

Mum did not quite understand. She thought if he could attend school as a student, then becoming a teacher should be all fine and dandy. 

“Children are happy if they get a day off, they won’t ask why their teacher is sick so often”, she had assured him. 

Remus did not have the heart to tell her that even Dumbledore would hardly hire a werewolf as teacher. In a position of authority.   
Tolerance only went so far. Deep down, even Dumbledore probably believed that his morals were tainted. Heck, Remus himself was not so sure at times. 

He probably should not have read ‘Lupine Lawlessness’, a book that described in all gory details why he and others with the affliction should not have a right to live.  
Ah, the stupid things you did when you were twelve and curious ...

The entrance to the common room opened. An enraged looking Lily Evans ran past him and up the stairs to the girls’ dorms. 

Remus put down his mug. 

He was pretty sure what would happen next. Ah. He’d been right. 

Book still in hand, he got up to prevent his friend from attempting to follow Evans, if necessary. 

“What’s the matter, Prongs? She didn’t like your prank on Snape, did she?” He had really hoped he had talked his friends out of that, but apparently not. 

“No”, Prongs admitted grudgingly and plopped down on the couch next to Remus. “I don’t understand why, though. The prank went all wrong anyways.”

“How so?”

“The plan was to use a hair from Slughorn for the potion and give it to Sniveleen. What happened was that somehow one of my hairs got into the potion, and Regulus Black drank it, so ...”

“Oh dear.” A small part of him hoped that had taught Prongs a lesson. A larger part of him was very worried about the implications. “Did he force a kiss on you or something?”

“No, just declared his undying love and told me my shoulders are hot. Anyways, I decided to have a bit of fun with it –”

“Prongs!”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, nothing bad, I just made him kiss my boots ... tried to, anyway. Sniveleen noticed and did something. Not sure what. Could have been an Imperius.“

The book Remus had been reading fell onto the hearthrug. „On you?“

“No, on Regulus, I would know if anyone had put an Imperius on me. Evans went after them for some reason ...”

“They would have had to get an antidote for the love potion.” Remus picked his book up. “As a prefect, it would be her duty to see to that. So, what happened then?”

“It took me a while to get up – Sirius’ darling baby brother tripped me when he got up, so I crashed into a table full of cream slices. Needed a couple of cleaning charms after that. Anyway, I went to look for Evans and just caught her talking to Sniveleen and Regulus. I tried to catch up with her, but as you’ve seen, she’s in a sulk. I have no idea why.”

“Did I get that right? Evans deigned to take you to a very fancy party that is important for her to make connections for her future career, and you not only made a spectacle of yourself but also tried to get someone to kiss you while under the effects of a love potion? And you don’t see why Evans might be a little bit miffed at that?” Sometimes, he really despaired.

“I told him to kiss my boots. That’s not cheating. It was just a joke.”

“Prongs, I daresay if you had asked the Captain of the Holyhead Harpies for a kiss under the mistletoe, Evans might be a bit less annoyed with you.”

“Oh, yes, the mistletoe. That was a failure, too. Slughorn must have removed it because it didn’t fit with his colour scheme or something. We warded it against a couple of spells, he must have used one we didn’t think of.“

He despaired. He really despaired. „I’m going to bed. Have you seen Peter?”

“No. He’s probably hiding as Wormtail after his failure with the potion.”

“Okay. I will tell him it’s okay if I see him. After all, having Snape be obsessed with you would have been even worse.“

Remus dragged himself up the stairs. 

Why did he even bother helping Prongs with Evans? Was it asking too much to have his advice listened to? 

It was not like he was a genius when it came to love – that title clearly belonged to Sirius, who at least managed to get girls to be in love with him for some hours of snogging – but just not doing things Evans was known to not like was common sense!

And Sirius certainly knew that, too. He just wanted to prank Snape a little bit more than he wanted to help Prongs win Evans’ heart.


	28. Chapter 28

The next morning, Prongs didn’t turn up for breakfast at the usual time. 

Neither did Snape and Regulus. 

Remus found his gaze drawn to the gates repeatedly. Had they gotten into a fight? 

But no, there was Prongs, looking rather grumpy, and there were Regulus and Snape, looking tired but smug. 

Snape left Regulus’ side and said something to Prongs and ...

Prongs punched her in the face. 

Punched her in the face. Just like that. 

Remus blinked. His brain refused to have seen that. 

„Potter!“

It had, undeniably been real. There was thunder in McGonagall’s voice. 

Snape staggered, and would have fallen to the floor if not for Regulus’ timely intervention. He lowered her onto the floor and knelt next to her. 

Remus got up and walked over to Prongs.

“Let me see how bad it is”, Regulus coaxed, wiping the blood off Snape’s mouth with his sleeve and prodding her mouth open. “Damn!“

That did not bode well. Remus turned to his friend. “What did you do that for?!”

“She said a ton of nasty stuff, and misgendered me.”

“Oh. That must have been terrible for you.” Almost as bad as being hit in the face. 

“Must have been? I still feel –”

“Gwenhwyfar, please follow me to my office”, Dumbledore said gently. “I daresay we have much do discuss.”

“Out of the way, out of the way.” Madam Pomfrey hurried past him.

“She is concussed” , Regulus claimed. “That, and at least one of her teeth broke.”

“I don’t need you to tell me how to do my job, young man.” 

Remus shuffled back to the table. There was nothing he could do now. 

“How bad is it?”, asked Evans when he walked past her. 

“Very bad. Pro- Potter is experiencing extreme dysphoria caused by being misgendered. There is no telling if Dumbledore can help.“

“I meant Snape.”

“Oh. Her. Just a concussion and a broken tooth. She will live.“

„That’s not funny, Lupin.“

„I was not trying to be funny. Madam Pomfrey will be able to heal it, no problem. No worse than a cold.”

After performing a couple of spells, the healer put Snape on a stretcher and made her hover next to her while she walked out of the hall, followed by Regulus Black. 

Remus finished his breakfast as fast as possible and excused himself, allegedly to go to the library, but in reality, he just wanted to be alone. 

He had only just left the hall when he heard footsteps behind him. Evans.

“She is going to marry him, isn’t she?”

“Who and whom?”

“Snape and Regulus Black.”

“How would I know?”

“You are friends with his brother.”

“They aren’t talking. But yes, apparently she did visit in the holidays and yes, their mother is quite taken with her. I have no idea what her plans are, but you might be right. He’s tall...ish, dark, handsome and obscenely rich, so what’s not to like?” The fact that he was not in love with her, perhaps, but looking at them, you wouldn’t know. It might have changed in the meantime. 

Evans screwed up her face. “Oh, I don’t know. The dark magic, perhaps? He’s steeped in it. Like a fish in water.“

„I’m quite sure Snape considers that a plus.”

Evans shook her head. “I knew her when we were children. She has always had a mean streak, but … not like this. She has never been cruel to animals. And if Sirius is to believed, his family behead their house elves once they grow too old to carry a tea tray. And then they mount the heads on the wall.”

“Oh yes. They do that, he told us about it a couple times. He says the house elves like it that way, but that doesn’t make it better.” If anything, it added to the horror. Remus could understand very well why Sirius had wanted to get out of there as fast as he could. 

“I can’t imagine Lee- Snape being happy in such a house.”

“They could move to a nice cottage in the countryside, I suppose.”

“Stop being like that, Lupin. You know what I mean.”

“Actually? No. They are happy. Do you have any idea how rare that is?“ And how much he would give to be that happy. “If anything, I envy them.”

“He will corrupt her.”

“Yeah right. I’m sure she has the heart of an innocent little girl. As decoration on her shelf with the books on dark magic.”

“What the heck is wrong with you, Lupin? You’ve always been such a nice guy, and now suddenly you are being so, so ...”

“Sarcastic? I guess I’m just fed up with everything. Can you imagine how often I tried to get my friends to stop bullying Snape? No one ever listens to me. And now you want me to ... actually I have no idea what you even want. So Snape will marry Regulus. So what? You washed your hands of her. Why not stick with it?“

Evans was silent for a while. “This is bigger than just us, Lupin. If Snape joins You-Know-Who ...”

“Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you brushed off her attempt to apologize. It’s too late now, Evans. What am I supposed to do? My friends will never leave her alone, not now that it’s escalated to this point.”

“If you put your foot down, they would have to .You are prefect. It is time to use that power.”

She was right, and that only made him more angry. „It wouldn’t be any use! The bullying might have driven her into the Black family’s arms, but you are a fool if you believe that she will ever leave, now that she has experienced the perks of it.”

“The perks? Such as? Severed house elf heads?“

„I saw them at Hogsmeade, you know? He takes her out to Madam Puddifoot’s and buys her chocolate brownies.”

Evans huffed. “Oh do come on. I know it’s one of the things you smell in Amortentia, but even so, not even you would marry someone just because they buy you chocolate brownies.”

“Yes, I would. I damn well would!” He turned around a corner, opened the next best door and slammed it shut behind him. 

Moments later, he felt rather silly for having walked into a broom closet. Not even one for flying brooms – the ordinary kind. 

He turned a bucket around to sit on it, feeling to downcast to even transform it into a chair. 

Evans didn’t understand. Must feel nice to not even be able to imagine the temptations of such perfectly mundane things as someone buying you a cup of tea without expecting anything in return ... okay, Black expected something in return ... or rather, he said he did, but Remus didn’t think he was serious. 

Well, he certainly was not Sirius. Ha ha. 

It wasn’t that Remus’ family was poor. He remembered living in quite a nice house when he was younger. His father still earned a good income. 

But it was all spent on treatments for his affliction. One more useless than the next. 

Remus could afford buying sweets, but he rarely did so. He felt he ought to save the money for yet another treatment. Not that he wanted to even try more. It was exhausting. But his parents wanted to, and he felt obliged to do it. For them. 

If he was right about Snape’s financial situation, and he was pretty sure he was, then marrying Regulus Black must be like winning the lottery to her. 

And that was just the financial side of things. 

Besides that, they were, if not lovers, at the very least good friends. 

An outcast, someone pathetic enough to be invited to Moaning Myrtle’s deathday party, someone like that would not voluntarily give up a friendship. Never. 

Evans was popular. Friends were a dime a dozen to her. If she lost one, she could just get another. She did not understand. Could not understand. 

It was Sirius who found him. Using the map, it wasn’t hard. 

“What’s the matter, Moony? Prongs has been an idiot again, but that’s par of the course, isn’t it?“

“I had a ... I guess, a fight with Evans. She wanted to know if your brother is going to marry Snape.“

“He actually might”, Sirius replied glumly. “Mother was very impressed by her knowledge of the Dark Arts. Absolutely adores her. And Reggie would do anything to please mother. Now more than ever. She feels so very sorry for herself, only having one son left, and he totally falls for it.”

“That’s what I told Evans. And now she’s worried he might drag her innocent childhood friend down into the darkness with him.”

“Ha! If anything, it’s the other way round. Reggie is soft. The right girlfriend might actually have managed to get him to see how messed up our family is. But with Snape ...”

“Yeah. Anyway, I think that ship has sailed. You saw them just now, in the Great Hall.“

“I don’t know. If someone had punched my girlfriend, I would have punched them right back. He doesn’t love her. Here’s hoping he does fall in love with someone else ... preferably a Gryffindor …“

“Yeah.”


	29. Chapter 29

Some hours later, Remus bade his friends farewell at the school gates.

Then he trudged back to Gryffindor tower. Good thing he had bought so many books. 

Halfway to the tower, he stopped to look at a holly wreath which had fairies fluttering around it. 

They were vain, he had learnt in Care of Magical Creatures, and that was why they liked to serve as decoration. 

But was that the truth? 

The colourful lights, the only thing you saw of them in the badly lit corridors, always made Remus smile. So perhaps, just perhaps, his mother’s muggle wisdom that they lived off children’s laughter had actually some truth in it. 

Yet he could not stand in the cold corridor forever, so he at last returned to the common room. 

He made himself a cup of tea. Getting hot chocolate from the kitchen was not an option anymore after the entrance had been hidden, though he figured Wormtail would soon find out how to get in again. 

Just when he had immersed himself in a wonderful tale about a perfectly mundane muggle birthday party with lots and lots of guests, his trusty muggle alarm clock alerted him to the fact that it was time to make his way down to the Great Hall for dinner. 

There was, of course, the school bell, but Remus tried to train himself to be rather more punctual than necessary.   
Winter nights started so early, and there would not always be a resolute healer to remind him it was time for his confinement.

Being so early, he had plenty time to stop at a window and admire the beautiful sight of Hogwarts grounds, covered in snow and illuminated by stars, candles, and a harmless crescent moon. 

It took him a while to tear his eyes away from the panorama. 

And then, he found he could not quite tear his body away. 

A dreadful, sinking feeling took hold of him, as a dreadful suspicion grew. He looked up. 

Just as he had suspected. A mistletoe. Discarded by Slughorn, most likely, and then put up here by a well-meaning house elf who could not know that the Marauders had enchanted it. 

Remus cursed himself for not having gotten more involved in the prank. 

Having done his best to stay away from something he knew it would be his duty as prefect to report, he had no idea how to dispel the hex. 

Well, he had been punctual. Certainly, some other Gryffindor would take the same route, and then ... here was hoping that his insistence they make the requirement for getting away as harmless as possible had actually born fruit. 

It was cold, standing around in the unheated corridor, but only after he heard the dinner bell did Remus start to worry in earnest. 

And considered using a spell on the mistletoe that seemed to taunt him with its green leaves and translucent white berries. 

Perhaps, if he set it on fire ... but then, he knew his friends would have taken that impulse into consideration and have enchanted the mistletoe to react adversely to any attempt at getting rid of it. 

He pulled his cloak around him and resigned himself to admiring the view some more. Snow had begun to fall, slowly and peacefully, adding to the layer on the outer windowsill. 

Remus’ breath froze on the inside of the window, painting ferns and flowers on the glass. 

Sooner or later, someone was bound to notice his absence at dinner ... right? 

McGonagall ought to notice. She knew he had opted to stay at Hogwarts.

At the very latest when dinner was over and he had not turned up … Madam Pomfrey would notice and scold him. 

Then, at last, the sound of footsteps. 

Remus turned around, only to feel like someone had emptied a bucket of ice water over him. 

Regulus Black. Of all people who could have found him.

Was this an intentional trap?

It did not seem likely – he knew his friends had enchanted at least one mistletoe, and Slytherins did not really have this kind of humour. 

And it had been pure chance that he had walked close to the window to admire the view. No one could possibly have planned for that ... could they?

He summoned up all his Gryffindour courage. “Listen Black – I’ve been meaning to tell you – what Potter did to you yesterday was not okay, and I don’t condone it.”

“Oh?” Black appeared perfectly unfazed by the mention of his utter humiliation. Snape would have blushed with rage, but not Black. “I was not aware you were there to witness it?”

“I wasn’t. I just heard about it. Heard the bragging, to be honest.”

“Ah. Then you know it was actually an attack on Eileen? He forced me to say ... I do not really want to repeat it, but he wanted to reinforce her insecurity about her looks by making me claim that I do not like to kiss her.”

Remus could piece together what that had been about. “I’m sorry. And for what it’s worth – what happened this morning ...”

“Happened? You say that as if Potter did not intentionally hit a girl.“

“The fact that she is a girl has nothing to do with it. Gwen is a girl, too.”

Regulus slowly shook his head. “Potter can dress however he wants and call himself whatever he wants. That does not negate the fact that he is much more muscular than the average girl and intentionally chose a weapon which would grant him the advantage. There is a reason why, in the days of old, wizards learnt how to fence – using your wand against a muggle would have been dishonourable.”

“Gwen was just angry.”

“And that means he loses all self control? Assuming that is so ... then perhaps he should be locked up safely, as to not be a danger to others.” Regulus circled around, reminding Remus of a cat playing with its prey. “You would willingly let yourself be locked up if you were so lacking in self control, would you not?”

Piercing, steel-grey eyes meeting his. 

His heart raced. “You know the answer to that.”

“I do. I just marvel at the fact that you do not apply the same standards to your friends.”

“That’s not ... listen, I told you I don’t agree with what Gwen did. It was wrong, and I’m sure Dumbledore said the same. And ... and ...” There was something else wrong here. „Actually, how dare you attack me for being friends with someone who saved your life?“

“Saving my life, heroic as it was, does not negate the harm done to others.”

“It proves Prongs has a good heart.”

“Very deep down, hm? Perhaps. I admit I do not even properly remember the event. A common side effect of concussions, Madam Pomfrey tells me. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Well ...” He did have trouble recalling it. It was as if he had only seen it through a layer of fog. Probably the shock of almost seeing someone die. “You fell off your broom and Prongs caught you. You were brought to the hospital wing. And then … Snape attacked me?“ 

Regulus nodded. „Ah, yes, thank you. Regarding that attack, I am deeply sorry about that, and if there is any way I can make amends …“

Wait, what? 

Remus knew that he felt guilty about what his friends did all the time, but that was different. 

On the other hand, he was not in a position to look the gift horse in the mouth. “There is something you could help me with.”

“Yes?”

Remus took a moment to collect his courage. “A kiss.”

Regulus seemed taken aback. “Excuse me?”

“You heard right. Someone enchanted this mistletoe so anyone stepping under it would be trapped until they kissed someone. I’ve been standing around here for what feels like hours and I’m starting to get cold. A quick peck on the cheek should suffice.”

“Ah.” Regulus quickly regained his composure and now gazed up at the mistletoe. “Of course. You tried the usual counterspells on it?”

“No. It ... probably was my friends who did it, and I know they like to put in nasty surprises that get triggered by attempts to get rid of their prank items, so ... it would be safest to just kiss.” Merlin, that sounded so stupid!

“Well, then.” Regulus stepped closer. „You are a lot more polite about asking than your friend, I must say.”

His lips brushed Remus’ cheek for only a short moment. 

“Merry Winter Solstice.” Regulus stepped back. 

Remus followed him. He could move!

“Um, thanks for that.”

“You are welcome. Now, do step back if you please, this thing is a danger to the public and needs removing. I need you to get a teacher if anything goes wrong.”

Remus hurriedly got as far away from the mistletoe as he thought sensible. “Perhaps I should get a teacher to remove - ”

“Sectumsempra.”

The mistletoe fell to the floor unceremoniously. “Ah. As I suspected. Your friends probably warded it against a more aggressive approach.”

“You didn’t suggest to try that before.”

Regulus shrugged. “You were the one trapped under it. There would not have been anyone to get a teacher if it had exploded at me.“ He carefully picked up the mistletoe. “Now, let us see if we can still get some dinner.”

Remus’ heart raced. He did not quite know what to make of this unusually peaceful demeanour. 

“So ...”, he tried after some moments of awkward silence. “Is Snape alright?”

“In a manner. Madam Pomfrey removed the broken tooth and rearranged the other teeth so it will not show. Eileen is to spend the night in the hospital wing, but was allowed to attend dinner in the Great Hall.”

“Oh. Good. I really ... listen, I understand that you have a feud with my friends going on, but could we have a truce for the Christmas holidays?” That benefitted only himself, really, what with him being all alone, but ...

“A truce with you? Certainly, that is possible. I cannot speak for Eileen, but I think she will be open to the idea.”

In a somewhat more amiable silence they walked to the Great Hall, where dinner was still on the table. 

Regulus went to the High Table, presumably to ask someone to take care of the mistletoe, and Remus gave Madam Pomfrey an apologetic smile before he sat down next to the only Gryffindor student left that he recognized. 

“Fe fepherd - ” The sandy-haired firstie swallowed her food. “Sorry. The shepherd’s pie is delicious. I saved you a bit of the vegan version.”

“There’s vegan shepherd’s pie?”

“With field beans and seitan. I’m sure the standard version is good, too, but just in case you wanted to try.”

“That is very thoughtful of you, thank you.”

“You saved my life, it’s really the least I could do. Why do you stay here over Christmas?”

Remus hesitated. “I get sick a lot, so I have to catch up on my studying. I’m in sixth year so the textbooks I own aren’t enough anymore. You?”

„My parents want to take my brother skiing, and I … I’m just not that keen on it.” She smiled awkwardly. “It’s the steep mountains. They scare me. No idea why the hat put me in Gryffindor.“

„You and me both“, Remus muttered. “That is, I often feel like that, too. But the hat knows what it is doing.” At least he really, really hoped so. „You are okay with being away from your family for Christmas?“

Her face betrayed that she wasn’t, not really. “It was either that, or spend Christmas in a hotel room. We wouldn’t even have gotten a Christmas tree. So ... Hogwarts …“

„Has more Christmas spirit?“

„Yes, exactly. Just look at the trees.“

They were, indeed, very impressive. Decorated with fairies and enchanted icicles, frosted with magical snow that would not melt. 

However, the one thing that really made it feel like Christmas was the people. 

Remus tucked into the shepherd’s pie. It did taste differently from the meat version, but just as delicious. “The house elves made it especially for you?”

“Not just me. Professor Sprout told me there’s some more vegetarians, and some students keep kosher, so they prefer vegetarian, too – I mean, you never know where the meat comes from or what animal it even is.”

That was true, he had never thought much about it. They’d certainly not serve anything that the staff wouldn’t want to eat, but then, Dumbledore had mentioned he really liked cockroach clusters. 

Remus looked over to the Slytherin table. Regulus didn’t fuss over Snape the way he had when she’d arrived drenched to the bones, but he still looked at her intently, listening to whatever she was saying with keen interest. 

“I have been meaning to ask ... almost everyone says you only get sorted into Slytherin when you’re evil, but ...” Sandy-hair hesitated. “The teachers seem to disagree? And Professor Slughorn is alright?“

„Oh. That. It is a bit of a stereotype.“ Though it was rather hard to come up with a counterexample. “Slytherin is for the ambitious. You will have noticed that Slughorn prefers students he thinks are outstanding.”

“He gets my name wrong all the time, but that’s better than that one teacher in primary school who’d call me to the blackboard and ask me questions he knew I didn’t know the answer to.” She shuddered. “Slughorn just leaves me be. He’s okay.“

„Yes. He likes to surround himself with celebrities and only pays attention to those who might become ones, but he’s pretty chill as a teacher. Now, I don’t want to lie, Slytherins are pretty big on blood purity, which is something Voldemort is also for, but I think some of them are just old-fashioned and don’t want things to change.” 

Sandy-hair seemed relieved. “Yeah. It’s just that Sniveleen is in Slytherin - “

“Don’t use that name, it’s rude.”

“Oh, that’s not her real name?” Sandy-hair blushed. 

“No. You probably mean Eileen Snape?”

“The girl with the greasy hair? Sorry, I didn’t know, witch and wizard names are so weird.”

That made sense. She couldn’t have known. “Yes, Snape, what about her?”

“Well, after Potter punched her in the face, her boyfriend was so worried. It just doesn’t seem like something evil people would do.” She frowned. “I mean, I guess they are a bit like Morticia and Gomez from the Addams’ family, but those aren’t really evil.”

“The world is a bit more complicated than that”, Remus replied cautiously. “They can love each other and still be against muggleborns attending Hogwarts.”

“I’m muggleborn. Do I have to be careful?”

“Kinda. You shouldn’t mention that your parents go skiing when Slytherins are nearby. I am not saying that all of them are like that – Evans is muggleborn, too, and she’s one of Slughorn’s favourite students – but there are some who would attack you if they got wind of you being muggelborn.”

Why hadn’t he told her that before? He was really a bad prefect.

“I don’t talk much with Slytherins anyway.”

Of course not. “Talking of safety, do you pay attention to what is happening above you, now?”

“Um ...”

“I thought I should tell you – there are some enchanted mistletoes that won’t let you leave if you step underneath them.” 

“Thanks, I will be careful.”

Remus walked her back to Gryffindor tower, and they didn’t encounter any more cursed mistletoes. 

He read in his muggle fantasy book until bedtime, then washed, changed into his pyjamas and crawled into his four-poster bed in the empty dormitory. 

The house elves had put up some holly on the curtains of the unused beds, and it looked really festive and peaceful, rather than empty. 

What a crazy day!

First he got trapped by a Marauder prank, and then it was Regulus Black, of all people, who freed him. 

Regulus Black, who usually was no better than Snape when it came to taunting Remus with their knowledge of his affliction. 

With their knowledge of his affliction. 

They knew. 

Remus touched his cheek. Could it be? Regulus knew and had still thought nothing of kissing him? 

It must be ... there was no other explanation. Perhaps he had been wrong.   
Perhaps his father was wrong and his mother was right, and there was not that much prejudice, really?

Perhaps, everything would be alright. 

**

_I think this is a good point to end the story. I have ideas for more plot, but it would meander around aimlessly as I haven't yet figured out what the plot arc could be. Perhaps I will continue this story some day, perhaps not._


End file.
